Churches

[zoegirl]

This was a little rabbit trail that was in the ministries thread and I didn't want it to hijack the original post, which was a lovely description of a ministry Jlay was invovled in.

But it was brought up that a person could attend a church over a year and not know more than ten people well. There was surprised expressed over this but I certainly wasn't surprised. So I wanted to see what others were thinking about this idea.

For what it's worth,

There have been plenty of churches that I have been to where I have gone for over a year and yet I only knew 10 people well...Some of this has to do with my personality (not exactly extroverted), my situation in life(churches don't really see single people) but a great deal of frustration DOES come from hidden legalism, politics, the huge focus on families (nothing wrong with that, but if you are not part of the wonderful little package that fits neatly in ministries then you struggle in a church, you really do). CHildren, teens, college students, even "Career" people int he twenties, churches will devote their time and energy there but it seems that if you don't seem to be able to have a family by thirty you are out of luck. They aren't there for you. You may serve, but you certainly aren't ministered to other than the sermon. We have lost a LOT of people in the church due to this. (and it's a vicious cycle, they know they SHOULD go to church and sometimes try but every experience seems to reinforce what they already know...which makes it hard to stick your neck out and be vulnerable).

Churches (sigh) rightly create ministries for the famillies but this sometimes does lead to a sort of legalism and condemnation for others in the body. If not a sin of commision then certainly a sin of omission. A church may preach grace but live works and sadly I have seen this numerous times. I'm NOT saying anyone here is doing this, but sometimes we do forget that we are all struggling. Even with families, if you don't fit the pattern card of respectability or are struggling, there is little encouragement to be vulnerable and often there is pressure to hide the anxieties.

And to be honest, I'm not even saying that one SHOULD or have to know more than 10 people. I don't think there is a "critical level of sociability" that one can fail at.

I have been to small churches, huge churches (slight better but frsutrating because of the size), modern churches, traditional churches...

Any thoughts? Not necessarily looking for advice here (I've heard it all, or at least it seems like it), although anyone is welcome to it (be prepared to hear, I've done that). Just wondering about church experiences....

[jlay]

Zoe,

This is a good topic. A lot of different ways I see that it could go. I've got a lot of thoughts, and I hope my post is not off the direction you were looking for.
I'd even say expand it to simply, "the church," not just congregational. My most intimate Christian friendships are in my men's group, which is mulit-denominational. Most of the minstries I serve in are para church. (that is not affiliated with a denomination or congregation.) But, I don't think you have to be lifelong buddies with someone to find out their Christian walk. In fact, I can testify of countless times where my paths cross with believers, and I can tell you their spiritual temp within 30 minutes, and they mine. I am utterly amazed at how God crosses my path with other Christians. And usually within moments we have both registered that spiritual connection, and we are sharing with one another. And this isn't even in the church building, but my daily life. It wasn't always this way.

Even with families, if you don't fit the pattern card of respectability or are struggling, there is little encouragement to be vulnerable and often there is pressure to hide the anxieties.

Then I'd find a different congregation, or abandon the congregational model if need be. My experience is churches are going to the other extreme to make people feel welcome, find their spiritual calling, etc. I can't even begin to tell you all the things I see congregations in my area doing to try and help people find their God given destiny, plug into ministry, etc. And quite frankly the response is meager at best. I think a lot of it is the message. The message I hear a lot, is 'what can the church do for you.' This is a 'me; centered message. It's hard to get fruit producers, if this is the drawing card. Not that we shouldn't be able to meet the needs of people. We should. But if you have 20% of the people doing the ministry, and 80% staying needy, idle, and not moving foward into their calling, then you will see frustration and stagnation. And thus we are warned in the scriptures on what to do, and what not to do.

And to even go further, I'd say that you do not have to be a congregational Christian to be 'plugged in.' One of my dearest friends is not a 'church goer.' But, he is one of the most vigilant prayer warriors I've ever met. We fellowship every Monday night, and he sits on the Board of Directors of a not for profit ministry. He has those deep intimate friendships. And you could never question his spiritual course or activity. So, if you took any of my replies on the other thread as meaning you HAVE to be a member of a congregation, sing in the choir, clean the baptismal, be able to give detailed descriptions of every church member, etc., then you missed my point entirely.

The church as I see it is a sending place. A place to plant yourself in good soil, where you can be edified, with the purpose of producing in the harvest field.
People are all too careless when choosing where and why they will fellowship. A person needs to ask some questions about the church, and also about themselves. Things didn't change for me until I moved from a place of being served to a place of serving. When this happened, my cup overflowed. That's when I moved from milk to meat. God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called. And sense we are all called, He will be faithful to equip.
I certainly can understand why someone could go for year or 10 years and not know. Because I was one for much of my life. And I can assure you, in my case (not speaking for anyone else) it was a poor reflection on me.

Works are the blessing that every believer should experience. If not, they are missing out, and not being faithful to the promises of God. If they are missing out because the church is a callous, introverted, closed minded bunch, then shame on the church. If they are missing out because of their own grieving of the spirit, disobedience, apathy, or general lack of faith response, then shame on them.

I remember a quote by GK Chesterson, that made me think of this question. It is easy to play a blame game of all that is wrong with the congregational church today. But, I wonder if we surveyed all Christians with this question:
What is wrong with the church today? How man would answer, "I am."

[zoegirl]

Zoe,

This is a good topic. A lot of different ways I see that it could go. I've got a lot of thoughts, and I hope my post is not off the direction you were looking for.
I'd even say expand it to simply, "the church," not just congregational. My most intimate Christian friendships are in my men's group, which is mulit-denominational. Most of the minstries I serve in are para church. (that is not affiliated with a denomination or congregation.) But, I don't think you have to be lifelong buddies with someone to find out their Christian walk. In fact, I can testify of countless times where my paths cross with believers, and I can tell you their spiritual temp within 30 minutes, and they mine. I am utterly amazed at how God crosses my path with other Christians. And usually within moments we have both registered that spiritual connection, and we are sharing with one another. And this isn't even in the church building, but my daily life. It wasn't always this way.

I know plenty of Christians in my work, but I find it hard to be compeltely vulnerable and find fellowship with them...(there are politics in a Christian workplace, unfortunately and it's not exactly what a church body should be like).

Even with families, if you don't fit the pattern card of respectability or are struggling, there is little encouragement to be vulnerable and often there is pressure to hide the anxieties.

Then I'd find a different congregation, or abandon the congregational model if need be.

lol, yes, I have been...after 7 churches....

My experience is churches are going to the other extreme to make people feel welcome, find their spiritual calling, etc. I can't even begin to tell you all the things I see congregations in my area doing to try and help people find their God given destiny, plug into ministry, etc. And quite frankly the response is meager at best. I think a lot of it is the message. The message I hear a lot, is 'what can the church do for you.' This is a 'me; centered message. It's hard to get fruit producers, if this is the drawing card. Not that we shouldn't be able to meet the needs of people. We should. But if you have 20% of the people doing the ministry, and 80% staying needy, idle, and not moving foward into their calling, then you will see frustration and stagnation. And thus we are warned in the scriptures on what to do, and what not to do.

I don't have a problem with the idea of serving. The frsutration comes when the church demands 90% of the serving going towards esesntially one type of ministry: families...Because let's face it, Churches minister to every aspect of families: dads, moms, children, the entire family, the broken family...it WILL create ministries for men, but men often have different facets of lives that the Church will focus on: work, friends, family...men have several identities. It seems frsutrating when the women's ministries don't allow for that seem variety of ministry...focusing much more on mom's. So understandably it can be frustrating to hear that we need to serve and yet never really having opportunites for fellowship or ministry.

And to even go further, I'd say that you do not have to be a congregational Christian to be 'plugged in.' One of my dearest friends is not a 'church goer.' But, he is one of the most vigilant prayer warriors I've ever met. We fellowship every Monday night, and he sits on the Board of Directors of a not for profit ministry. He has those deep intimate friendships. And you could never question his spiritual course or activity. So, if you took any of my replies on the other thread as meaning you HAVE to be a member of a congregation, sing in the choir, clean the baptismal, be able to give detailed descriptions of every church member, etc., then you missed my point entirely.

Of course I don't think I NEED to be (although it seemed to lean that way when you expressed surprise at not knowing 10 people) but in my younger days I felt more welcomed by churches and it was easier to belong and fellowship.

The church as I see it is a sending place. A place to plant yourself in good soil, where you can be edified, with the purpose of producing in the harvest field.
People are all too careless when choosing where and why they will fellowship. A person needs to ask some questions about the church, and also about themselves. Things didn't change for me until I moved from a place of being served to a place of serving. When this happened, my cup overflowed. That's when I moved from milk to meat. God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called. And sense we are all called, He will be faithful to equip.

Yes, I agree but you have said two contradictory things here....the church is a place where you can be edified...part of this is fellowship, part of this is equipping and then, yes, part of this serving. When one serves but is not being edified, one soon feels starved, dry and weary. I ask you, what is careless about trying to find a church that helps one that doesn't fit the mold? I don't mind serving, but it's frustrating to be able to "See" what will happen in a church because it's happened so many times. (burn out from serving)

I certainly can understand why someone could go for year or 10 years and not know. Because I was one for much of my life. And I can assure you, in my case (not speaking for anyone else) it was a poor reflection on me.

Works are the blessing that every believer should experience. If not, they are missing out, and not being faithful to the promises of God. If they are missing out because the church is a callous, introverted, closed minded bunch, then shame on the church. If they are missing out because of their own grieving of the spirit, disobedience, apathy, or general lack of faith response, then shame on them.

I think perhaps one can also have a combination of the two as well. When the church doesn't have a goal to reach out to everyone, it's easy for those who don't fit the mold to retreat. I woudn't be so strong as to label it disobedience. When one is called to be a witness to their workplace, when their occupation is their calling (which is perfectly valid...God calls people to be doctors and nurses and engineers as well as to work in children's church ) but the church doesn't recognize or equip or edify the misfits, it's hard to give and give without that edification.

I remember a quote by GK Chesterson, that made me think of this question. It is easy to play a blame game of all that is wrong with the congregational church today. But, I wonder if we surveyed all Christians with this question:
What is wrong with the church today? How man would answer, "I am."

Of course we are all part of the problem. But I *see* the church responding to the needs of the body in one area and yet see the church ignoring another area. At least four churches that I have been to originally had a singles ministry and in all four (this is over the last 15 years) they decided to forego ministry support (oversight by elders, budget, even making them go to another service time [encouraging them to leave the morning time for families] because, well, for an entire assortment of "reasons" mostly entire bunk)....four churches, all deliberately choosing to neglect a part of the congregation and body. (and they are not all one type of denomination). In at least two more churches, there has never been any deliberate support. And in two of the cases I spoke out strongly against the decision and in the third I at least tried. These are members of the body with unique needs, unique calling from God, and unique abilites to serve the church and yet the church doesn't help edify them.

I'm not talking about simple belligerence or laziness (although I not dismissing it and I wouldn't say that it doesn't contribute).

[B. W.]

This was a little rabbit trail that was in the ministries thread and I didn't want it to hijack the original post, which was a lovely description of a ministry Jlay was invovled in....

Sorry we hijacked it - maybe we'll move our comments out of there to a new thread where K and I would end up agree'n in the end

Great Ministry Jac...
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[zoegirl]

No no, I was merely wanting to talk more about the churches but thoguht I would move MY thougths to another thread. I was referring to Myself potentially hikacking the thread.

[Gabrielman]

What? What about hijacking? I couldn't help it!

[B. W.]

What? What about hijacking? I couldn't help it!

Geeze Gabe - you beat me to it - I wanted to use that smilie

Zoe - I get eaisly confused! Just ask my wife when I drive claiming I know a better way to Target...

Anyways, you experinces in Churches mirrors mine in many ways as well as others. Bart posted some good stuff on facebook simular to this topic. I think this is a great topic to discuss as it mirriors so what so many in the Church experience but are afriad to ask. It needs to be asked! Thank you so much for posting
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[Gabrielman]

Geeze Gabe - you beat me to it - I wanted to use that smilie

Sorry brother! I am just too quick!!!

Speaking of churches, though I have not read through this whole thread yet, I have been going off and on to one here, and have not been in a while before I moved here. And I am going tomorrow as well, if I am feeling well enough, however I don't know anyone there. I don't like getting involved too much with most churches because of bad experiences I have had in the past. I was more involved when I was younger, and did a lot with a church my family loved... until we found out they were embezzling the money every gave... yeah..... but that was only after a new pastor started there...

Any way, sorry to just drop in on your thread unannounced! I now have to read over it and make a better response!

[zoegirl]

I'm all for hashing out any problems I might have but I wasn't necessarily wanting to focus on just me.

For instance, IS there any problem with someone who serves minimally? To some degree, as partly a social group, a person who needs little and uses little resources of the church can sometimes be asked to serve more (not to mention serving/witnessing/ministry at work)

I do get a little concerned over the politics in churches in the ministries....it almost seems comically similar to high school but on a grander scale. The same type of people end up being in the limelight....being on teams. The same social politics exist, with the pretty and popular or the "upstanding" citizen being rewarded with praise. Mind you there is nothing wrong with being pretty or taking care of yourself and there is nothing wrong with social skills, welcoming people, being the life of the party....and we all hope we are the upstanding citizen....I hope I am clear on these ideas.

Ah well...

[Gabrielman]

For instance, IS there any problem with someone who serves minimally? To some degree, as partly a social group, a person who needs little and uses little resources of the church can sometimes be asked to serve more (not to mention serving/witnessing/ministry at work)

That all depends on what one sees as minimal imo. To be honest about it, I can not see anyone as serving in a minimal way, because no one knows what God has called others to do. What I do find distressing is when a Church member approaches someone who goes to that Church, but is not very involved and starts trying to get them involved, and saying how the leaders of the Church have been talking about them.... yeah.... but then again the Church does not know what their life outside of there may be, including how they may serve God without having to fit a stereotypical mold in the least bit.... where was I going with this.....

I do get a little concerned over the politics in churches in the ministries....it almost seems comically similar to high school but on a grander scale. The same type of people end up being in the limelight....being on teams. The same social politics exist, with the pretty and popular or the "upstanding" citizen being rewarded with praise. Mind you there is nothing wrong with being pretty or taking care of yourself and there is nothing wrong with social skills, welcoming people, being the life of the party....and we all hope we are the upstanding citizen....I hope I am clear on these ideas.

Sad but true.... as you may recall I brought up at one point pastors who had been bringing up single people in the Church and how if they can't find someone then God wants them to do something that is life threatening... so basically a social stereotype that comes down to telling people, based on their social status, what God wants them to do. Which is something else I have found annoying about Churches, that and how insensitive they can be towards people who are not happy go lucky every day.... They basically want everyone to act, just as you said, regardless of the life they have, and if you don't, then there is something wrong with you it their minds. And they have to be the ones to dig into your life by asking about you from everyone they can (and not asking you...) and then try to fix it their way.... Sorry, getting a little too in-depth... not many good Church experiences myself....

[jlay]

Yes, I agree but you have said two contradictory things here....the church is a place where you can be edified...part of this is fellowship, part of this is equipping and then, yes, part of this serving. When one serves but is not being edified, one soon feels starved, dry and weary. I ask you, what is careless about trying to find a church that helps one that doesn't fit the mold? I don't mind serving, but it's frustrating to be able to "See" what will happen in a church because it's happened so many times.

i can see why you would think this is a contradiction. My experience is that when I plunged myself into service, I was in fact edified. Doors opened, others closed. I have never been more edified than I am in serving. 10 years, and no burn out. It is amazing. Why? Source. Who is sourcing you? It's a question I have to constantly ask myself, because if I work out of my own resource guess what? It runs dry. His never does. That doesn't mean I don't get tired, frustrated, etc.

i understand your frustrations, and have been there. and I still get frustrated with my congregation after 12 years. As I am critical of the lack we see from the individual Christian in today's culture, I am equally critical of the congregational church and its many failings. But i know that God is faithful. His ear will not be deaf to the cry of His children. If it is our sincere to desire to grow, He will provide. However, this may not always manifest itself in the ways or methods we want or expect. It may require a chastening, a sifting, or a painful pruning. We must know that the church isn't something outside of us. but that we are a part of it. It is my opinion that there are far fewer in the congregation who understand this, than those who do not.

That all depends on what one sees as minimal imo. To be honest about it, I can not see anyone as serving in a minimal way, because no one knows what God has called others to do. What I do find distressing is when a Church member approaches someone who goes to that Church, but is not very involved and starts trying to get them involved, and saying how the leaders of the Church have been talking about them.... yeah.... but then again the Church does not know what their life outside of there may be, including how they may serve God without having to fit a stereotypical mold in the least bit.... where was I going with this.....

Yes, that would be wholly innapropiate. The church should know their outside life. Because each person in that congregation is an artery to a lost world. You simply can't make people get involved. Our congregation has several areas of ministry that I have never participated in, and my never have the opportunity. But I pray for them and support them with my offering, as they do me. As Paul says, there are many parts to this body, but EACH plays an essential role. God designs us. God designed the role. We have to understand that we are designed for ministry. When someone receives this revelation, watch out.

[zoegirl]

Why? Source. Who is sourcing you? It's a question I have to constantly ask myself, because if I work out of my own resource guess what? It runs dry. His never does. That doesn't mean I don't get tired, frustrated, etc.

You know, they never seem to say that to the marrieds... Or to the teens, or to the college students, or to the middle schoolers. Oh, they need help! they need support! Let's support them!! They need specific resource! They NEVER *just* tell them to rely on God.

I'm sorry....I know all you say is true, there is nothing about that statement that I disagree with. But inherently the church (and I suspect even you) don't operate under that mission statement with regards to those you minister to. When you are seeking to minister to people, to a specific group, you operate with the understanding that a certain group of people need a certain "recipe" of support. Advice, information, prayer, encouragement....and to those who serve, you also know they need support, encouragement (I would hope!).

meh, it's a source of frustration....I've got to the point where I don't really look forward to the social aspect of church.

[zoegirl]

I've heard the advice to serve, serve, serve....and you know, I have no problem with that. But let me give you some history here...

A bit of one church history for an example. I volunteered as a high school youth leader in one church. I served in that position for close to 4 years and grow close to several families....many of the families in the church....the parents, the moms, the dads, the teens....and I loved it. I went to the morning service, sunday school, sometimes served as greeter, came to the Christmas functions, came to the evening service, etc.

I started in the last two years in college and the two years I substitute taught while looking for a teaching position. Then I got a job in the opposite direction of the church so I was driving 40 minutes each way to my job, teaching 100 teenagers in a day each day during the week, and then having to drive 20 minutes to the morning service, come home, and then go to the evening service to help with the teens there at night. Come home at 8:30-9 pm with very little rest over those Sundays having to jump back into teaching the next day. It took it's toll. After a year and a half and my body rebelling on me, I finally wrestled with the tremendous guilt of realizing that I couldn't do both, I just couldn't give myself to exhaustion and made the deicsion to take myself out of the high school ministry. They had a very nice send-off during one of the activities and thanked me for my service.

Bear in mind that I wrestled with this, feeling guilty over the fact that I just couldn't give any more. But I was even more shocked when it seemed that all of those relationships with those parents, those moms and dads I knew....just fizzled. I didn't seem to exist aside from my willingess to give myself to them. I tried to maintain the relationships but it was rather hard when it's one-sided. It seemed that if I wasn't working for them then I wasn't worth their time to ask how I was doing. Yeah, you could say I was hurt. I occasionally greeted, occasionally came to Saturday yard work (which I have tried to do in other churches) where I love to work outside and found myself an alien amongst the men who really couldn't understand why I was there...why wasn't I in the nursery? in there dusting?

This was one of those churches that decided to stop their singles ministry....oh and the kicker???!?? They let it die a slow death after "appointing" elder after elder who had no heart for it (after the associate pastor decided against running it to go to the high school ministry)...but oh this is so good, wait for it....when all of those families who had teens grew up, went ot college...suddenly those parents realized their little ones had nothing to come home to after graduating. So I'm sitting in the pew and hearing them say "Oh we've decided to make a college and career ministry for those in the twenties!!! Isnt' that great folks?"

Add to that none of them came to the hospital when I was admiited for five days for my colitis. None....a fellow single did, the visitation minister came, but none of those families came. Oh yeah, and while I recovered over the next several months at home and went to a mcuh closer church (more for convenience at that point)...I received a lovely letter from them...not asking how I was doing mind you, but reminding me that I was a member and I hadn't been coming and reminding me of my ":duty" to financially support them and go to church. To give the pastor credit he was furoius that i received the letter but unfortuanetly he was forced out. So much for relationships.

Another church? Their place for me? The spinsters and widows would meet together and serve by making sandwiches for the poor. (Curiously enough the single men weren't invovled in this....they got to go to men's ministries about "how to be a Christian in a workplace") A worthy effort, in fact, very worthy....so why weren't the moms doing it as well? why were the teens in there? Oh, they got to have fun being served in their ministry and the moms got to have their ministry learning how to be good moms. While we? we got to make sandwiches! no ministry for us (I guess they assume that we have all the time in the world to get our "source" and support from making those sandwiches)

COuple this with the fact that I have had to watch the difference between how several churches go AFTER the new families, they will seek them out...make sure that they know what all the church can do for them....and have to swallow the disappointment that I have to seek out them and find out information about the church myself. (it's almost as if they say "fresh meat for our ministry!!"). And the curious puzzle on their faces when I ask whether there is any group for singles...."Oh," they say, "yes, I *think* they meet....hey Frank, where do the singles meet?"

Another church? (one I still try to go to and try really hard to get involved)...had over eight fellowship lunches after the church service. KNow how many people searched me out, a newcomer, and introduced themselves to me? A grand total of 4. Know how many times I introduced myself and tried to make conversation with people? Over 4 I can tell you that....know how many times those who I introduced myself to then sought me out in forthcoming lunches? none....only those other 4 that originally introduced themselves to me.

Yet another church actively took away their financial support and pastoral support for their singles ministry (I guess we were getting too old) only to...guess what? a year later start a another singles ministry (but this time they deliberately named it their 20;s/30's group)....that group had to seek another church to simply allow them access to rooms! brilliant!

Yet another church DID have a singles ministry (no pastoral support or elder support, mind you) but they had a thriving group on a friday night playing volleyball, encouraging each other, playing games....just supporting each other. Know what they church did? (mind you, over half of the singles were church members who were actively serving in areas of the church). They told us we couldn't have the gym anymore because they wanted to grow their....oh yes, you guessed it, their childrens's and teens basketball minstry!! The one night, the one night we were having success with our ministry, they flat out denied us a place...brilliant!!! Gee...what a surprise to see it whither and die...the members who were actually serving kept doing so....the singles who were being helped? found other churches in some cases and stopped going in others.

SO what conclusion do I come to? Let's try another church...(i give it a good college try....over two years)....I can DEFINITELY understand the idea that one can to to a chruch for over a year and only know 10 people.

So yeah, call me cautious...call me cowardly....what else do I do? I go to a new church....only to experience the same....and I fight my own cynicism and bitterness, knowing it's not fruitful.

[zoegirl]

On a humorous note...if only they stopped the "greet someone" part of the church I would be happy...that's one of the most awkward times for me....

[B. W.]

On a humorous note...if only they stopped the "greet someone" part of the church I would be happy...that's one of the most awkward times for me....

I like what you are saying Zoe and understand how you feel. Many things you wrote about, I can relate too, so do others. Always be real.

After I became saved, a few months later in a fast growing vibrant Church all those many years ago (1980’s), The Pastor appointed me to head up the Intercessory Prayer Group as Head Intercessor. I knew nothing about this subject other than that Jesus defeated the foe so according to the bible we should be able to pray effectively against wiles of the devil because God said we could. I was in charge of a group of good prayer warriors who had better qualifications than I did. I learned from them and on the Job.

Add to this, I was also volunteered to play guitar in the praise band. There were no soundman or anyone who knew how to run a big sound board. I made the mistake of opening my mouth that I used to help bands with sound systems in the world. The Pastor let me give it a try. After that, he only wanted me to set the sound and run the board. So I trained one of the single’s group people, like myself at that time, to watch the board. I’d tell them: Don’t move any lever’s after I adjusted them – if it made noise do this. Then on stage I went with the praise band after adjusting all the sound. Then back to the board when the pastor came on.

I was intercessory prayer leader, member of the band, and ran the sound board all as a new babe in Christ. We had singles group and on top of that – we went street witnessing to the local youth at night. Opened my rented home to wayward people – teens – during the day. Ran a ministry out of my home. This all just happened – did not look for it. I also went to a college group – Baptist Student Union too for awhile just to rest…

That Church later split and the Pastor left town. Went to a new Mega type Church – became involved there in the Jail Ministry and ministry training. Then stated a Jail Ministry and ran it for ten years until the Sheriff dept hired me. Left that Church and went to others to help them grow as part of ministry training received. I learned a lot in these churches. Counseled many, did the Communion Service, taught bible lessons, even made deacon. in one Church one of the members stole all the funds from that Church and the Church crashed and split – poof gone.

Went to other ones – could never find one to plug into. Mega or Large Churches too impersonal - Treated the Kids perfectly, and the tweens and teens royally well. College Career i.e. singles group – ignored abandoned forgotten… excuse was this – Meat Market.

Small Churches were the best for fellowship and in all I learned what Churchanity was all about: Mindless works, lists, how too, a lot about the latest greatest diet snake oil cure alls, betrayed, abandoned, rejected, let down by many, scolded and collected mold in others, sore knees in others..

So thru it all, I have come to the conclusion that Jesus wants his Church cleaned up. He will do the work thru people who lead by example – the example of how they live life as He. It is not about what ministry or lack of ministry one has or not has. It is not about service and mindless serving. It’s about Love.

How God Loves – edifies, trains, nurtures you along. How He Cherishes you, teases you like a loving parent does, cries with you, spanks you, never lets you go. How He fosters, encourages you to trust Have Faith in Him when all looks lost, shapes you, challenges you, and changes your character to have the content of life, instead of darkness.

It’s about Love Zoe – a love that will love like the Lord. This takes the time, often painful, often challenging but never lacking joy. No ministry or service can do that, only the Lord. When you and I learn to let life live we then effect others around us, those whom God places in our path –

God says tag you are it – your turn to edify, train, nurture along. Your turn to cherishes, tease like a loving parent does a child, cry or laugh with them, spank, never lets them go in your heart and prayers. Your turn to foster, encourage others to trust (Have Faith) in Him when all looks lost. Your turn to shape, challenge, change character of others by the example you lead. Your turn to live life live, instead of darkness, shine…Always be real...

Tag you are it…

So what is missing in the modern Church?

A Game of Tag!
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B. W. Melvin
Author: A Land Unknown: Hell's Dominion