miscarriage

[Nessa]

this seems like such an unfair thing almost like God plays dice.

some get none...some get several...some cant have kids at all...while how many abortions go on...

[1over137]

My sister in law gave birth to a dead child due to doctor not being there and then when coming trying for the normal birth instead of the c section (which costs more). Adelka then suffocated.
It was a great pain for the whole family. My sister in law and my brother were very brave. I admire them. They two are a great example of Christianity. Not all my family members believe in God. Perhaps one day they will.

While it was great pain for us I believe God achieved some of his plans.

[Kurieuo]

My sister-in-law had three miscarriages.
Whenever the dates are near she gets depressed.
I can only imagine.

Her daughter took me to the place she scattered their ashes in a cemetery.
She made out her Mum was silly, being so upset and scoffed about how she did a little ceremony for them.
I said that I can understand why she'd be upset, they were live little babies. She went silent.
Apparently her daughter was quite affected by it too. So why was she scoffing? I know why.

Her partner use to just say "get over it" and the like.
People don't seem to understand in today's social climate the pain, I think especially so because such isn't seen as a human life or baby.
It's preferred that they remain a clump of cells until they magically turn into a human being once birthed.

[Nessa]

such sad stories

sometimes suffering just goes beyond words...maybe often

when we were going for our hospital visit just before the end of my
pregnancy we were waiting in reception for
our midwife. This is where they show you the private delievery suite etc.

well all of a sudden through the door two people are carrying this tiny white coffin...
i said to my husband is that what i think.......
and the receptionist interrupted and said yes it is.

so sad and on a selfish level....freaked me the heck out.

[Kurieuo]

this seems like such an unfair thing almost like God plays dice.

some get none...some get several...some cant have kids at all...while how many abortions go on...

So are you ever angry at God about what happened, and what goes on?

[Nessa]

this seems like such an unfair thing almost like God plays dice.

some get none...some get several...some cant have kids at all...while how many abortions go on...

So are you ever angry at God about what happened, and what goes on?

should i be flattered or concerned that you are becomming the questioner after questioning why i question so much?

Yes but those feelings are detachted most of the time....joy..omygosh...we lost joy!!!!!

[Kurieuo]

I've been real angry at God before, like how God could see value to creating us despite our utter failings.

[Nessa]

I've been real angry at God before, like how God could see value to creating us despite our utter failings.

(Inside out was a good movie by the way)

What did God say in response to your anger at him creating us?

[Storyteller]

I had four miscarriages.

The first I didn`t even know I was pregnant, they did it a pregnancy test to rule out the possibility, it was too late. If they had done the test earlier they may have been able to save the baby but no one thought of it. That one didn`t really hit me, it was over before I knew really. The second was in New Zealand. We were renting a lovely little flat by the river in Tutakake (I think) and I lost that one at 8 weeks. The doctors in NZ were absolutely wonderful, taking X rays to see if the baby was alive etc. I did get annoyed at one doctor who actually pointed out my baby on an x ray saying "Don`t worry, at the moment it`s just a collection of cells" Yeah, a collection of cells that were my baby! Lost that baby at around 9 weeks. Third was at 11 weeks, a silent miscarriage as the baby died at 8 weeks but I showed no symptoms until 11 weeks. I had a D&C after that one. That one was heart breaking. the fourth was again at 8 weeks. The doctors then started investigations, then I fell pregnant again.
I cannot describe how tired I was, how drained. I never really lost the fear of losing another even when I got through to 12 weeks. I had regular scans and tests and the doctors were wonderful. Same consultant all the way through who told me once my daughter was born that they didn`t expect me to go full term. I had one scare when I was around 8 months gone when I went into labour. Drugs stopped it and my little one was born two weeks early, healthy and fit.

Am I angry at God for the babies I lost? Sometimes.
I just trust He knows what He is doing. But yeah, I`ve raged at God (and I wasn`t a Christian at the time) and I`ve raged at Him since.
Especially as there is doubt and uncertainity as to where these souls go. I ponder on this a lot.

I cling to the fact that Christ loves children especially and those little souls didn`t get a chance to decide to love God. I think, and I hope, that they have a special pass or something. If they don`t then I have to believe that it is all part of the greater plan. if it isn`t I`m gonna be mightily peed off.

[Kurieuo]

I've been real angry at God before, like how God could see value to creating us despite our utter failings.

(Inside out was a good movie by the way)

What did God say in response to your anger at him creating us?

Nothing. I had to think it through.

[Kurieuo]

I had four miscarriages.

The first I didn`t even know I was pregnant, they did it a pregnancy test to rule out the possibility, it was too late. If they had done the test earlier they may have been able to save the baby but no one thought of it. That one didn`t really hit me, it was over before I knew really. The second was in New Zealand. We were renting a lovely little flat by the river in Tutakake (I think) and I lost that one at 8 weeks. The doctors in NZ were absolutely wonderful, taking X rays to see if the baby was alive etc. I did get annoyed at one doctor who actually pointed out my baby on an x ray saying "Don`t worry, at the moment it`s just a collection of cells" Yeah, a collection of cells that were my baby! Lost that baby at around 9 weeks. Third was at 11 weeks, a silent miscarriage as the baby died at 8 weeks but I showed no symptoms until 11 weeks. I had a D&C after that one. That one was heart breaking. the fourth was again at 8 weeks. The doctors then started investigations, then I fell pregnant again.
I cannot describe how tired I was, how drained. I never really lost the fear of losing another even when I got through to 12 weeks. I had regular scans and tests and the doctors were wonderful. Same consultant all the way through who told me once my daughter was born that they didn`t expect me to go full term. I had one scare when I was around 8 months gone when I went into labour. Drugs stopped it and my little one was born two weeks early, healthy and fit.

Am I angry at God for the babies I lost? Sometimes.
I just trust He knows what He is doing. But yeah, I`ve raged at God (and I wasn`t a Christian at the time) and I`ve raged at Him since.
Especially as there is doubt and uncertainity as to where these souls go. I ponder on this a lot.

I cling to the fact that Christ loves children especially and those little souls didn`t get a chance to decide to love God. I think, and I hope, that they have a special pass or something. If they don`t then I have to believe that it is all part of the greater plan. if it isn`t I`m gonna be mightily peed off.

Geesh, I didn't realise it was so common.
What you women have gone through.

We had some scares with ours.
Our last one I basically directed the nurses on what to do.
Shameful that!

[Storyteller]

Makes me wonder why it`s so common.

That`s normally the comfort they offer, it`s common. Which while that may be true, it doesn`t help. The best thing anyone did for me was my husband, he just held me tight and wailed with me. That`s what I needed. I needed someone to share my grief and pain, someone else to share how unfair it was, someone else shouting at God.

I do have to say though, that finally having my daughter was the greatest gift from God I have ever had, or will have (apart from love, grace, forgiveness and eternal life of course!)

The fact that it is so common makes me wonder if there really is a greater plan going on.
I cannot believe that God would condemn them to Hell. Unless, maybe, they were the souls that would have rejected Him anyway. I don`t know. But I do trust God to look after the babies that didn`t make it.

[Nessa]

I've been real angry at God before, like how God could see value to creating us despite our utter failings.

(Inside out was a good movie by the way)

What did God say in response to your anger at him creating us?

Nothing. I had to think it through.

and your conclusion?

[Nessa]

Story teller sounds like we had some similar ones... two of mine were missed miscarriages around the same time.. not being revealed til 12week scan etc.

[Kurieuo]

I've been real angry at God before, like how God could see value to creating us despite our utter failings.

(Inside out was a good movie by the way)

What did God say in response to your anger at him creating us?

Nothing. I had to think it through.

and your conclusion?

My conclusion is you ask too many questions.