A SERIOUS PROBLEM I CAN'T IGNORE!!!
Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2005 3:33 pm
Brothers and Sisters,
I am facing a time of high doubt. I relize it is OKAY to doubt, but it is as though a VERY dark cloud has been hovering atop my head. In addition, since I became a serious devoted Christian, I have had the oddest thoughts pass through my mind. I will tell you that these thoughts are wrong and I need help. What I am experiencing is whenever I hear, think, and read certain words such as Christian, God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, Trinity, Bible, and all things that are "in the light of life", I attribute them to Satan, my mind says those words are pure evil and I should stay as far as way I can from them. I also feel that there is a force between me and my Bible that is making me avoid it at all costs, like I have no will or power to read the Bible. Now, I don't know if this is Satan at work in my life or something physcological, but it is very odd and I want it to be gone. When I hear, think, and read about Satan, my mind says "Yes' this is good", so therefore I believe Satan IS attacking me.
I am what you call a baby Christian, still learning how to live the Christian life, and I'm sure many of you are too. But with me, I find this to be a unique situation I am facing. I cannot tell you how evil I feel inside, so full of hatred, but towards what? Me, the Trinity, my parents, everything. Now granted I don't want to hate everything and I really do want a pure Christian life, but my mind locks on hating everything and wont let me have a free life of happiness. Satan is my puppeter and I am his puppet if you could imagine that. I don't know if I am possesed or what but this is something that I can't overlook my entire life because this could void my salvation. I am able to live with free will and do what I wan't, but I really do feel that I am inhabited by another evil being, or it is just my mind playing unwanted tricks. I feel like an evil being on the inside with a Christian overlay on the outside, in other words, I feel false.
I ask that whoever is reading this will PLEASE pray for me, Brian, member of GodandScience.org, and ask that the evilness be released. It would be greatly appreciated. I also ask that if you have any suggestions as to help me, I would appreciate that as well.
Your Brother In Christ,
Brian
I am facing a time of high doubt. I relize it is OKAY to doubt, but it is as though a VERY dark cloud has been hovering atop my head. In addition, since I became a serious devoted Christian, I have had the oddest thoughts pass through my mind. I will tell you that these thoughts are wrong and I need help. What I am experiencing is whenever I hear, think, and read certain words such as Christian, God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, Trinity, Bible, and all things that are "in the light of life", I attribute them to Satan, my mind says those words are pure evil and I should stay as far as way I can from them. I also feel that there is a force between me and my Bible that is making me avoid it at all costs, like I have no will or power to read the Bible. Now, I don't know if this is Satan at work in my life or something physcological, but it is very odd and I want it to be gone. When I hear, think, and read about Satan, my mind says "Yes' this is good", so therefore I believe Satan IS attacking me.
I am what you call a baby Christian, still learning how to live the Christian life, and I'm sure many of you are too. But with me, I find this to be a unique situation I am facing. I cannot tell you how evil I feel inside, so full of hatred, but towards what? Me, the Trinity, my parents, everything. Now granted I don't want to hate everything and I really do want a pure Christian life, but my mind locks on hating everything and wont let me have a free life of happiness. Satan is my puppeter and I am his puppet if you could imagine that. I don't know if I am possesed or what but this is something that I can't overlook my entire life because this could void my salvation. I am able to live with free will and do what I wan't, but I really do feel that I am inhabited by another evil being, or it is just my mind playing unwanted tricks. I feel like an evil being on the inside with a Christian overlay on the outside, in other words, I feel false.
I ask that whoever is reading this will PLEASE pray for me, Brian, member of GodandScience.org, and ask that the evilness be released. It would be greatly appreciated. I also ask that if you have any suggestions as to help me, I would appreciate that as well.
Your Brother In Christ,
Brian