i need help :(

[CeT-To]

i can see your perspective Zoegirl but you dont know much about me and my girlfriend so you cant really generelise the matter that this will be this and this will be that. ummm honest question, how come God made sex a gift for marrige only?

[zoegirl]

No I don't know you or your girlfriend. But I do know God's word.

I also know the pain of seeing the disappointment in my mother's eyes countless times when she was interested in going to church, praying, or sharing a new book that she found on christianity, only to find that my dad wasn't really interested. And that's the best side of being unequally yoked. He has never been cruel, he has never derided her faith, and he has never kept her from church or reading books or listening to radio shows. But as wonderful as he is, I also know that I would not want that in a marriage.

So tell me more about her. You say she is more atheist in her beliefs. How strong in this belief? Is she merely apathetic towards Christianity? Or is she more actively antagonistic? Have you tried sharing Christ with her? Has she gone to church with you? Do you talk with her about Christ?

[CeT-To]

No I don't know you or your girlfriend. But I do know God's word.

I also know the pain of seeing the disappointment in my mother's eyes countless times when she was interested in going to church, praying, or sharing a new book that she found on christianity, only to find that my dad wasn't really interested. And that's the best side of being unequally yoked. He has never been cruel, he has never derided her faith, and he has never kept her from church or reading books or listening to radio shows. But as wonderful as he is, I also know that I would not want that in a marriage.

So tell me more about her. You say she is more atheist in her beliefs. How strong in this belief? Is she merely apathetic towards Christianity? Or is she more actively antagonistic? Have you tried sharing Christ with her? Has she gone to church with you? Do you talk with her about Christ?

ahh im sorry to hear that Zeogirl ...i will pray for your Dad ..

Well she is on the border athiest buut she does respect my beliefs and christianity, one thing that annoys her a lot is that she hates it when christians judge her and tell she is immoral/ bad person. Of course i have tried sharing Christ with her, we talk about Him a lot actually ....mostly because i cant stop talking about Him hahah even in conversations that have nothing to do with God for example sometimes i might say something that is according to the LORDS teaching. Ummm no unfortunately she has never gone to church with me..i guess she feels uncomfortable..what can i say .. i would love it if she did come but i cant force her .. i can only pray. And yes i do talk about Jesus and what he did for me. (which was like 30 min ago LOLOL)

God bless you

[jlay]

ah yes i know there is no magic pill and im glad that i can overcome any temptation if i want to...but i really love this girl and i dont want to end the relationship.. is there maybe anyway she can understand how i dont want to have sex anymore until marrige (im 17 by the way) because i know if i ask her she wont like it :S ive been praying for her so that she can recognise christ but no luck so far, although im not going to give up. Is there anything i can say to her that will make her agree or atleast understand what i want to do and why? Im really not considering breaking up with her because there must be other ways...i also know this because if i do break up with her for this reason she will hate christians and im scared that she will never come to the LORD.

First of all, will God will answer that prayer? Although it is correct to want someone to come to the saving knowledge of Christ, I can't help but think that your desire it is rooted in wrong thinking. First, you can not pray for God to over ride the free will he has given to a person. God created her, and her mind, and has given her what she needs to recognize Christ. 2ndly, is your true desire to see her saved, or just so you can avoid the uncomfortable realities you are dealing with now?

Whatever you do, you need to radically alter your relationship with this girl.
She is already at odds with Christ and thus Christians. If you want help, then I suggest you be prepared to sacrifice. Just being candid but it doesn't sound like you are.

Well guys i came to a conclusion with my girlfriend and that is that any act is pure if it is done through love...any act is justified if it is done through love, so i will keep my sexual relation with her because i know that my love is physically manifested in the act of sex. But other than that i will continue to do the things that i do to and look away everytime i am tempted and say to my self "i rebuke you sin" again and again.

I don't know how to say this other than being harsh. You are misguided. You are trying to justify maintaining a fornicative relationship. I understand. I used to do the same things. You will never get a clear mind, and peace from your struggles until you repent of this thinking.

[ChrisB]

Well guys i came to a conclusion with my girlfriend and that is that any act is pure if it is done through love...any act is justified if it is done through love, so i will keep my sexual relation with her because i know that my love is physically manifested in the act of sex. But other than that i will continue to do the things that i do to and look away everytime i am tempted and say to my self "i rebuke you sin" again and again.

CeT-To, I know that it "feels" right because you love her, but you can't be run purely by your feelings. What we humans feel is right is'nt always right in God's eyes (like for example revenge). The heart is deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9), and out of it proceed evil thoughts (Matthew 15:19). To be bluntly honest, in doing this you make yourself a hypocrite.

Although i have another question, this is about masturbation, is it really wrong if you just do it imagining only your partner that you love and not anybody else? i mean thats not being unfaithful and not lusting for anybody else. Plus it gives you less percentage of prostate cancer.

Any thoughts on what i have said so far?

God bless you all

The Bible does'nt really speak of masturbation, however the emission of semen made a man ritually unclean for a full day back in the days of the first covenant (Lev. 15:16), and Paul advises us to abstain from every form of evil, that God may sanctify us and our bodies be blameless at Christ's coming (1 Thess. 5:22, 23), and that if one commits sexual immorality, they sin against their own body, and grieve the Holy Spirit who dwells in every believer (1 Cor. 6:18, 19).

Paul says that if people can't control themselves in this area, that they should marry (again, when you're old enough to), "For it is better to marry than to burn with passion." (1 Cor. 7:9)

God Bless you both CeT-To, and I hope (and pray) that you will listen not to your heart, but to God.

[Enigma7457]

I hate to jump in so far into the discussion, but I wanted to give my two cents.

I started dating my future wife when I was 16 and she was 15. We were having sex at that young age. A couple of years later we truly accepted Christ (we called ourselves Christians the whole time, but we weren't actually there). After we did, we made the decision to stop having sex, no easy task, I say. But we talked it over and decided that if we were going to be Christians, we had to do it all the way. Not because we wanted to (trust me, we tried to justify it just like you), but because we were supposed to. The Bible is clear: Monogamy in marriage or abstinence outside of marriage. Period. If you're truly in love, what is a few more years? Trust me, it is possible to love someone wholeheartedly and not have sex. If anything, it shows the love more.

[Enigma7457]

Sorry, two more things.

1) You're right, Zoe doesn't know your relationship. But that is exactly the kind of person you should listen to. She knows the rules (man I hate that word) that christians are supposed to follow and since she isn't close to the situation she is in no danger of trying to justify any actions.

2) Does it matter why God said to save sex for marriage?

[CeT-To]

Sorry, two more things.

1) You're right, Zoe doesn't know your relationship. But that is exactly the kind of person you should listen to. She knows the rules (man I hate that word) that christians are supposed to follow and since she isn't close to the situation she is in no danger of trying to justify any actions.

2) Does it matter why God said to save sex for marriage?

Well it kinda does because all his other commandments or so make sense, im not saying this one doesnt but i just havent found out yet and i want to learn...one thing is following them blindly and another is following because you understand and comprehend their validity. Any answer from the bible?

[Enigma7457]

A couple of answers I can think of.

1) I think on this situation, for you specifically, you have to give God the benefit of the doubt. Even if you never understand why He made the 'rule', You still have to follow it since You know he has your best interests at heart.

2) I can think of several worldly reasons to wait (ie, STDs, having children too young, and such), but I don't know any reason from the Bible, though I'm sure there are. I will leave the details to another, but I will mention CS Lewis. 'Mere Christianity' has a section on marriage and pre-marital sex. It might help enlighten.

[CeT-To]

A couple of answers I can think of.

1) I think on this situation, for you specifically, you have to give God the benefit of the doubt. Even if you never understand why He made the 'rule', You still have to follow it since You know he has your best interests at heart.

2) I can think of several worldly reasons to wait (ie, STDs, having children too young, and such), but I don't know any reason from the Bible, though I'm sure there are. I will leave the details to another, but I will mention CS Lewis. 'Mere Christianity' has a section on marriage and pre-marital sex. It might help enlighten.

haha im reading that book as we speak thanx for the reference ill check that part up !