A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are looking at themselves in an Absorbing Mirror. If you tell a lie, the Absorbing Mirror sucks you in and you disappear.
The redhead steps up to the mirror, shakes her head side-to-side and says, "I think I´m pretty!"
Poof!, she disappears.
The brunette steps up to the mirror, looks at herself squarely in the eyes and says, "I think I´m intelligent!"
Poof!, she disappears.
The blonde steps up to the mirror and says, "I think..."
Poof!, she disappears.
FL
(a blonde French woman told me this joke.)
Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
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Furstentum Liechtenstein
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Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
Hold everything lightly. If you don't, it will hurt when God pries your fingers loose as He takes it from you. -Corrie Ten Boom
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If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.
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If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.
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zoegirl
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Re: Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
and here I thought that blonde jokes were an American thing....
"And we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Jesus Christ"
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Furstentum Liechtenstein
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Re: Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
Nope...blonde jokes are worldwide. If something is American, it becomes worldwide. Your country has a lot of influence around the world. Good and bad...sometimes funny!zoegirl wrote:and here I thought that blonde jokes were an American thing....
FL
Hold everything lightly. If you don't, it will hurt when God pries your fingers loose as He takes it from you. -Corrie Ten Boom
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If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.
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If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.
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obsolete
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Re: Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
Two blondes are standing on different sides of a lake. The first blond says, "How did you get to the other side?". the second blonde says, "What do you mean, you are on the other side!" 
Jesus died for ALL. End of story.
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Swamper
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Re: Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded on an island. They find a bottle with a genie in it and he offers to grant three wishes, one to each of the women.
The redhead wishes, "I want to be smart enough to get off the island." So the genie makes her smarter, and she builds a raft and gets off the island.
The brunette wishes, "I want to be smarter than the redhead." So the genie makes her smarter than the redhead, and she builds a boat and gets off the island.
The blonde wishes, "I want to be smarter than both of the others." So the genie turns her into a man and she takes the bridge off the island.
...
What?
The redhead wishes, "I want to be smart enough to get off the island." So the genie makes her smarter, and she builds a raft and gets off the island.
The brunette wishes, "I want to be smarter than the redhead." So the genie makes her smarter than the redhead, and she builds a boat and gets off the island.
The blonde wishes, "I want to be smarter than both of the others." So the genie turns her into a man and she takes the bridge off the island.
...
What?
God's in his Heaven, all's right with the world.
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Furstentum Liechtenstein
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Re: Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
A Highway patrol officer sees a Blonde pushing her Ferrari on the highway. He stops behind her and asks, «You havin' trouble, Ma'am?» «No, no!» she answers.
-«Then why're you pushin' that Ferrari?» the officer askes.
-«The dealer told me to drive at normal speed in town but that I could really push it on the Highway...»
-«Then why're you pushin' that Ferrari?» the officer askes.
-«The dealer told me to drive at normal speed in town but that I could really push it on the Highway...»
Hold everything lightly. If you don't, it will hurt when God pries your fingers loose as He takes it from you. -Corrie Ten Boom
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If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.
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+ + +
If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.
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Swamper
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Re: Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead show up for the same job interview. The brunette is the first one to go in, and after filling out the forms and going through the questions, the interviewer decides to ask her last question:
"How many Ds are there in 'Indiana Jones"? The brunette thinks for a second and responds "One".
The interviewer sends her back with a promise that he'll get back to her after he had interviewed the remaining candidates.
The redhead is next. The process goes about the same, and at the end: "How many Ds are there in 'Indiana Jones'"? She immediately says "One". The interviewer says, "OK, we'll let you know".
Then the blonde comes into the room, goes through the questions, and finally gets asked: "How many Ds are there in 'Indiana Jones'?". She gets a very serious look on her face and starts counting her fingers, muttering: "2, 4, 6 ...., hmmm - wait,... 2, 4, 6 .... can I borrow your calculator please?"
After going through 15 minutes of intense calculating, she finally comes up with the answer: "Thirty two"
The interviewer is stunned and asks her: "Ok, how do you figure that?"
She starts singing "Da Da Dah Dahhh Dah Dah Da Da Dah Dahh Dah Dah ..."
(The theme song for Indiana Jones)
"How many Ds are there in 'Indiana Jones"? The brunette thinks for a second and responds "One".
The interviewer sends her back with a promise that he'll get back to her after he had interviewed the remaining candidates.
The redhead is next. The process goes about the same, and at the end: "How many Ds are there in 'Indiana Jones'"? She immediately says "One". The interviewer says, "OK, we'll let you know".
Then the blonde comes into the room, goes through the questions, and finally gets asked: "How many Ds are there in 'Indiana Jones'?". She gets a very serious look on her face and starts counting her fingers, muttering: "2, 4, 6 ...., hmmm - wait,... 2, 4, 6 .... can I borrow your calculator please?"
After going through 15 minutes of intense calculating, she finally comes up with the answer: "Thirty two"
The interviewer is stunned and asks her: "Ok, how do you figure that?"
She starts singing "Da Da Dah Dahhh Dah Dah Da Da Dah Dahh Dah Dah ..."
(The theme song for Indiana Jones)
God's in his Heaven, all's right with the world.
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Furstentum Liechtenstein
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Re: Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
Wow! A smart blonde...she thinks outside the box!Swamper wrote:...Then the blonde comes into the room, goes through the questions, and finally gets asked: "How many Ds are there in 'Indiana Jones'?". She gets a very serious look on her face and starts counting her fingers, muttering: "2, 4, 6 ...., hmmm - wait,... 2, 4, 6 .... can I borrow your calculator please?"
After going through 15 minutes of intense calculating, she finally comes up with the answer: "Thirty two"
The interviewer is stunned and asks her: "Ok, how do you figure that?"
She starts singing "Da Da Dah Dahhh Dah Dah Da Da Dah Dahh Dah Dah ..."
(The theme song for Indiana Jones)
Hold everything lightly. If you don't, it will hurt when God pries your fingers loose as He takes it from you. -Corrie Ten Boom
+ + +
If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.
+ + +
+ + +
If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.
+ + +
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zoegirl
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Re: Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
"And we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Jesus Christ"
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zoegirl
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Re: Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department, one
would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole
in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved
on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl
digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.
An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what
they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, 'I'm impressed by the
effort you two are putting in to your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig
a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?'
The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, 'Well, I suppose it probably
looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl
who plants the trees called in sick.'
would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole
in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved
on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl
digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.
An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what
they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, 'I'm impressed by the
effort you two are putting in to your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig
a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?'
The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, 'Well, I suppose it probably
looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl
who plants the trees called in sick.'
"And we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Jesus Christ"
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rodyshusband
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Re: Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
Why does it take all day for a blonde to wash her hair?
---She follows the instructions on the shampoo bottle:
wash hair
rinse thoroughly
repeat
---She follows the instructions on the shampoo bottle:
wash hair
rinse thoroughly
repeat
“Christianity provides a unified answer for the whole of life.” -- Francis Schaeffer
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For_Narniaaa
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Re: Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
OK, I have two really bad ones. Here's the first:
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are escaping from prison, but they get captured. The guards are getting ready to shoot the brunette.
"All right, men!" the guard growls. "3...2...1..."
"TORNADO!" screams the brunette, and everyone ducks for cover and she gets away.
Angry, the guards try to finish off the two remaining. They get ready to shoot the redhead.
"All right, men! 3...2...1..."
"EARTHQUAKE!" shouts the redhead, and everyone ducks for cover and she gets away.
Finally, it's the blonde's turn, and the guards are fed up. "All right, men! 3...2...1..."
And the blonde yells: "FIRE!"
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are escaping from prison, but they get captured. The guards are getting ready to shoot the brunette.
"All right, men!" the guard growls. "3...2...1..."
"TORNADO!" screams the brunette, and everyone ducks for cover and she gets away.
Angry, the guards try to finish off the two remaining. They get ready to shoot the redhead.
"All right, men! 3...2...1..."
"EARTHQUAKE!" shouts the redhead, and everyone ducks for cover and she gets away.
Finally, it's the blonde's turn, and the guards are fed up. "All right, men! 3...2...1..."
And the blonde yells: "FIRE!"
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For_Narniaaa
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Re: Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
Here's my second bad one:
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They hide in some sacks of potatoes. When the police find that alley, they see the potato sacks.
"Hmm, they might be in these," one officer says, and kicks a nearby bag.
"Meow," says the brunette.
"Naw, just a cat." He kicks the next one.
"Ruff!" says the redhead.
"Naw, just a dog." He kicks the remaining one.
The blonde replies, "Potato!"
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They hide in some sacks of potatoes. When the police find that alley, they see the potato sacks.
"Hmm, they might be in these," one officer says, and kicks a nearby bag.
"Meow," says the brunette.
"Naw, just a cat." He kicks the next one.
"Ruff!" says the redhead.
"Naw, just a dog." He kicks the remaining one.
The blonde replies, "Potato!"
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Furstentum Liechtenstein
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Re: Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
A blonde secretary arrives ONE hour late for work. «What happended?»» inquires her boss. «I was so afraid!» she answers, «a strange man was following me!»
«Were you attacked?!» her boss asks.
«No, no!» she says, «he just walked very slowly!»
«Were you attacked?!» her boss asks.
«No, no!» she says, «he just walked very slowly!»
Hold everything lightly. If you don't, it will hurt when God pries your fingers loose as He takes it from you. -Corrie Ten Boom
+ + +
If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.
+ + +
+ + +
If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.
+ + +
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DannyM
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Re: Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
What makes a blonde woman's eyes light up?
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A torch shone in her ear.
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A torch shone in her ear.
credo ut intelligam
dei gratia
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