An old Jewish man walks into a café and sees his friend reading an Arab newspaper.
«Moishe!» he says, «why you readink Arab newspaper?!»
Moishe looks at his friend and says, «Because when I read Jewish newspaper, all I see is stabbings, car bombs, beheadings and rocket attacks. When I read the Arab paper, I see that the Jews control the media, the Jews control the banks, the Jews control the government, the Jews control the world....the news is much better!»
Jew Jitsu
-
Furstentum Liechtenstein
- Ultimate Member
- Posts: 3295
- Joined: Mon May 08, 2006 6:55 pm
- Christian: Yes
- Sex: It's Complicated
- Creation Position: Young-Earth Creationist
- Location: Lower Canuckistan
Jew Jitsu
Hold everything lightly. If you don't, it will hurt when God pries your fingers loose as He takes it from you. -Corrie Ten Boom
+ + +
If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.
+ + +
+ + +
If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.
+ + +
-
RickD
- Make me a Sammich Member
- Posts: 22063
- Joined: Thu Jan 14, 2010 7:59 am
- Christian: Yes
- Sex: Male
- Creation Position: Day-Age
- Location: Kitchen
Re: Jew Jitsu
ZIONIST PIG!!!!Furstentum Liechtenstein wrote:An old Jewish man walks into a café and sees his friend reading an Arab newspaper.
«Moishe!» he says, «why you readink Arab newspaper?!»
Moishe looks at his friend and says, «Because when I read Jewish newspaper, all I see is stabbings, car bombs, beheadings and rocket attacks. When I read the Arab paper, I see that the Jews control the media, the Jews control the banks, the Jews control the government, the Jews control the world....the news is much better!»
John 5:24
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.
“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow
St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.
“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow
St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
-
Furstentum Liechtenstein
- Ultimate Member
- Posts: 3295
- Joined: Mon May 08, 2006 6:55 pm
- Christian: Yes
- Sex: It's Complicated
- Creation Position: Young-Earth Creationist
- Location: Lower Canuckistan
Re: Jew Jitsu
In a Talmudic school, the rabbi is teaching a class of young boys. The rabbi asks the class,
«Does anyone here know why G-d created the Gentiles?» ...seconds go by and no one answers. The rabbi asks again,
«Why do you think G-d created the Gentiles?» ...finally, a lone hand goes up at the back of the class...
«Yes, Rick, tell us why G-d created the Gentiles!» ...Rick answers,
«Because G-d needed somebody to buy at retail prices.»
«Does anyone here know why G-d created the Gentiles?» ...seconds go by and no one answers. The rabbi asks again,
«Why do you think G-d created the Gentiles?» ...finally, a lone hand goes up at the back of the class...
«Yes, Rick, tell us why G-d created the Gentiles!» ...Rick answers,
«Because G-d needed somebody to buy at retail prices.»
Hold everything lightly. If you don't, it will hurt when God pries your fingers loose as He takes it from you. -Corrie Ten Boom
+ + +
If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.
+ + +
+ + +
If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.
+ + +
-
RickD
- Make me a Sammich Member
- Posts: 22063
- Joined: Thu Jan 14, 2010 7:59 am
- Christian: Yes
- Sex: Male
- Creation Position: Day-Age
- Location: Kitchen
Re: Jew Jitsu
Why do I find it difficult to believe that someone named Rick, would go to a Talmudic school?Furstentum Liechtenstein wrote:In a Talmudic school, the rabbi is teaching a class of young boys. The rabbi asks the class,
«Does anyone here know why G-d created the Gentiles?» ...seconds go by and no one answers. The rabbi asks again,
«Why do you think G-d created the Gentiles?» ...finally, a lone hand goes up at the back of the class...
«Yes, Rick, tell us why G-d created the Gentiles!» ...Rick answers,
«Because G-d needed somebody to buy at retail prices.»
I'm starting to think someone is teasing me.
John 5:24
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.
“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow
St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.
“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow
St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
-
Furstentum Liechtenstein
- Ultimate Member
- Posts: 3295
- Joined: Mon May 08, 2006 6:55 pm
- Christian: Yes
- Sex: It's Complicated
- Creation Position: Young-Earth Creationist
- Location: Lower Canuckistan
Re: Jew Jitsu
DISCLAIMER: Any similarity with persons living or brain dead is purely coincidental.RickD wrote:Why do I find it difficult to believe that someone named Rick, would go to a Talmudic school? I'm starting to think someone is teasing me.
Hold everything lightly. If you don't, it will hurt when God pries your fingers loose as He takes it from you. -Corrie Ten Boom
+ + +
If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.
+ + +
+ + +
If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.
+ + +
-
RickD
- Make me a Sammich Member
- Posts: 22063
- Joined: Thu Jan 14, 2010 7:59 am
- Christian: Yes
- Sex: Male
- Creation Position: Day-Age
- Location: Kitchen
Re: Jew Jitsu
Yep...that's me alright!Furstentum Liechtenstein wrote:DISCLAIMER: Any similarity with persons living or brain dead is purely coincidental.RickD wrote:Why do I find it difficult to believe that someone named Rick, would go to a Talmudic school? I'm starting to think someone is teasing me.
John 5:24
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.
“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow
St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.
“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow
St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
-
Furstentum Liechtenstein
- Ultimate Member
- Posts: 3295
- Joined: Mon May 08, 2006 6:55 pm
- Christian: Yes
- Sex: It's Complicated
- Creation Position: Young-Earth Creationist
- Location: Lower Canuckistan
Re: Jew Jitsu
A Jewish man goes to synagogue and prays,
«G-d, if you make me win the lottery, I'll give a 50% cut to mitzvahs.»
So on the way home he buys a lottery ticket but doesn't win. A week later, he returns to synagogue and prays,
«G-d, if you make me win the lottery, I'll give a 40% cut to mitzvahs and a 30% cut to the yeshiva!»
On the way home, he buys another lottery ticket but doesn't win this time either. A week later, he decides to go to a church and prays,
«...Jesus, this is Rick. You don't know me but my goy friends say you're god. Listen, Jesus, if you make me win the lottery, I'll give your church a 50% cut.»
On the way home, Rick buys a lottery ticket and wins $100,000,000!
The next day, Rick goes to synagogue and prays,
«Now I know You are the real G-d because You knew I never intended to give You your cut!»
«G-d, if you make me win the lottery, I'll give a 50% cut to mitzvahs.»
So on the way home he buys a lottery ticket but doesn't win. A week later, he returns to synagogue and prays,
«G-d, if you make me win the lottery, I'll give a 40% cut to mitzvahs and a 30% cut to the yeshiva!»
On the way home, he buys another lottery ticket but doesn't win this time either. A week later, he decides to go to a church and prays,
«...Jesus, this is Rick. You don't know me but my goy friends say you're god. Listen, Jesus, if you make me win the lottery, I'll give your church a 50% cut.»
On the way home, Rick buys a lottery ticket and wins $100,000,000!
The next day, Rick goes to synagogue and prays,
«Now I know You are the real G-d because You knew I never intended to give You your cut!»
Hold everything lightly. If you don't, it will hurt when God pries your fingers loose as He takes it from you. -Corrie Ten Boom
+ + +
If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.
+ + +
+ + +
If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.
+ + +
-
RickD
- Make me a Sammich Member
- Posts: 22063
- Joined: Thu Jan 14, 2010 7:59 am
- Christian: Yes
- Sex: Male
- Creation Position: Day-Age
- Location: Kitchen
Re: Jew Jitsu
Wow, sounds like me when I was much younger, and drank too much.Furstentum Liechtenstein wrote:A Jewish man goes to synagogue and prays,
«G-d, if you make me win the lottery, I'll give a 50% cut to mitzvahs.»
So on the way home he buys a lottery ticket but doesn't win. A week later, he returns to synagogue and prays,
«G-d, if you make me win the lottery, I'll give a 40% cut to mitzvahs and a 30% cut to the yeshiva!»
On the way home, he buys another lottery ticket but doesn't win this time either. A week later, he decides to go to a church and prays,
«...Jesus, this is Rick. You don't know me but my goy friends say you're god. Listen, Jesus, if you make me win the lottery, I'll give your church a 50% cut.»
On the way home, Rick buys a lottery ticket and wins $100,000,000!
The next day, Rick goes to synagogue and prays,
«Now I know You are the real G-d because You knew I never intended to give You your cut!»
Me(as I'm kneeling on the floor, hugging the toilet):"God, PLEEEZE! If you get me through this, just this one time, I Proooomise I'll never drink again!"
John 5:24
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.
“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow
St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.
“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow
St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony