#191
Post
by 1over137 » Tue Mar 20, 2012 7:21 am
Here is my story.
I grew up in an atheistic family. Well, better to say, not exactly atheistic. My mother is not an atheist, but my father is and he had dominance in this. So, we were grown up as atheists. I already said elsewhere why my father became an atheist thought his parents were believers. As a young child he was too forced I think. He was even sent to a priest to live with for several months. It was not a good experience for him. My father is very inteligent and the priest could not probably answer his questions in a satisfying way. Well, I have doubts about whether he even tried to answer his questions. My father had to obey and period. So, the whole basic school I was an atheist. But I was not that kind of atheist you normally meet. My best friend was a Christian and we had lot of fun as well as debate together. We were also outsiders in our class. We were very good friends. This was the basic school. Then I went to gymnasium. I think I was in the 2nd class when during one break I also with my very good friend at gymnasium saw on a notice-board announcement about one party. Our english teacher told us about that party. I should also mention that there came teachers from the USA to participate on the teaching. (To tell you in advance, they were also missionairies.) So we went to the adress written on the notice-board. We wanted to say that we would like to be present at that party. (It was for St. Patrick's day.) One women with blond hair opened us the door. (That women then become my good friend for some time.) I remember we cooked a green cake with my mum. (Was a success by the way.) And that's how I met with two missionaries. Then with their boss they soon established an institute (tee-house at the beginning) where people could meet and talk. I found some good friends there. One friend I valued very much. At that time, almost all my friends were Christians and I still was an atheist. Time when I was in my 3rd class was very hard for me. I even got B from math at the end of the school-year. I remember my hardest 3 days when I felt so bad that I had to lie in bed. It was like falling down and down into the great abyss. On the third day I reached the total bottom of the abyss. And then I bounced. That's how I felt. I started to recover and on the fourth day I was again ok. That was my first experience with depression. But as you saw, I more-or-less recovered soon. In my 4th class I had only As from math again.
When I finished gymnasium I was thinking to study philosophy or physics. What to choose? I did not know, so I went to the town library and borrowed a philosophical book. When I came home I opened it. There I read: "Is the tree I am looking at really a tree?" I had enough. I closed the book, brought it back to the libraary and went to study physics. While being at university (well, those times were just great due to physics) I from time to time met the friend I mentioned I valued much. But then Somehow we slowly split up. Sad, but that's life.
During my whole studies I had only one B and I graduated with rector's commendation.
I do not know precisely when I turned from atheism to agnosticism but probably during my PhD studies at Vienna. Everyday I commuted from Bratislava to Vienna by train. I spent a lot of time in train with my small eee pc notebook (on which I am writing this story right now). And I was discussing the God with my new friend. He was that boss of the missionaries I already mentioned. How I met him? Once, when I was really sad that I and my friend split up I wrote him an email. I asked him on the friendships between believers and non-believers generally. He was very nice. We kept talking and soon we changed the topic toward God. I was bold, really bold sometimes but he endured. I was not rude, not at all, I was totally candid and said what I felt and sometimes it was bold. We become friend. I became agnostic. I wrote what I felt and he was candid as well. I am now very grateful for him.
Now the probably most important part. How I became a Christian. Well, because of two reasons. One is intelectual (there are really good sites one can read really clever stuff). The other one is, well, I rather tell the story. It happend that I again felt into depression. This time it was even worse. I was even thinking to commit a suicide. It was really, really bad. I felt that doctors could not help me as well. I did not want to live that way any longer. I made sad my friends, my relatives and all around, esp. my boyfriend. I wanted to be there for him and for my family and my friends, but I was not able. So, I made one very clever thing. I asked God to help me, to recover me, to heal me. And voila, I am here. (And I am about to earn my PhD degree from particle physics (should finish in April).
That's all for now. GB.
But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good.
-- 1 Thessalonians 5:21
For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.
-- Philippians 1:6
#foreverinmyheart