Jew Jitsu

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Furstentum Liechtenstein
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Jew Jitsu

#1

Post by Furstentum Liechtenstein » Sat Nov 28, 2015 11:53 am

An old Jewish man walks into a café and sees his friend reading an Arab newspaper.

«Moishe!» he says, «why you readink Arab newspaper?!»

Moishe looks at his friend and says, «Because when I read Jewish newspaper, all I see is stabbings, car bombs, beheadings and rocket attacks. When I read the Arab paper, I see that the Jews control the media, the Jews control the banks, the Jews control the government, the Jews control the world....the news is much better!»
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abelcainsbrother (Mon Dec 07, 2015 8:01 pm) • rattlekrait (Mon Dec 21, 2015 8:54 pm) • FlawedIntellect (Wed Jan 13, 2016 7:45 am)
Hold everything lightly. If you don't, it will hurt when God pries your fingers loose as He takes it from you. -Corrie Ten Boom

+ + +

If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.

+ + +

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RickD
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Re: Jew Jitsu

#2

Post by RickD » Sat Nov 28, 2015 11:55 am

Furstentum Liechtenstein wrote:An old Jewish man walks into a café and sees his friend reading an Arab newspaper.

«Moishe!» he says, «why you readink Arab newspaper?!»

Moishe looks at his friend and says, «Because when I read Jewish newspaper, all I see is stabbings, car bombs, beheadings and rocket attacks. When I read the Arab paper, I see that the Jews control the media, the Jews control the banks, the Jews control the government, the Jews control the world....the news is much better!»
ZIONIST PIG!!!! :mrgreen:
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Furstentum Liechtenstein (Sat Nov 28, 2015 12:02 pm)
John 5:24
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.

Kenny wrote:
"You don’t need faith, logic, reason, proof, or anything else to be atheist, all you need to do is reject what someone told you."



St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony

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Furstentum Liechtenstein
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Re: Jew Jitsu

#3

Post by Furstentum Liechtenstein » Mon Dec 07, 2015 2:03 pm

In a Talmudic school, the rabbi is teaching a class of young boys. The rabbi asks the class,

«Does anyone here know why G-d created the Gentiles?» ...seconds go by and no one answers. The rabbi asks again,

«Why do you think G-d created the Gentiles?» ...finally, a lone hand goes up at the back of the class...

«Yes, Rick, tell us why G-d created the Gentiles!» ...Rick answers,

«Because G-d needed somebody to buy at retail prices.»
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FlawedIntellect (Wed Jan 13, 2016 7:45 am)
Hold everything lightly. If you don't, it will hurt when God pries your fingers loose as He takes it from you. -Corrie Ten Boom

+ + +

If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.

+ + +

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RickD
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Re: Jew Jitsu

#4

Post by RickD » Mon Dec 07, 2015 2:10 pm

Furstentum Liechtenstein wrote:In a Talmudic school, the rabbi is teaching a class of young boys. The rabbi asks the class,

«Does anyone here know why G-d created the Gentiles?» ...seconds go by and no one answers. The rabbi asks again,

«Why do you think G-d created the Gentiles?» ...finally, a lone hand goes up at the back of the class...

«Yes, Rick, tell us why G-d created the Gentiles!» ...Rick answers,

«Because G-d needed somebody to buy at retail prices.»
Why do I find it difficult to believe that someone named Rick, would go to a Talmudic school?

I'm starting to think someone is teasing me. y:-?
John 5:24
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.

Kenny wrote:
"You don’t need faith, logic, reason, proof, or anything else to be atheist, all you need to do is reject what someone told you."



St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony

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Furstentum Liechtenstein
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Re: Jew Jitsu

#5

Post by Furstentum Liechtenstein » Mon Dec 07, 2015 2:30 pm

RickD wrote:Why do I find it difficult to believe that someone named Rick, would go to a Talmudic school? I'm starting to think someone is teasing me. y:-?
DISCLAIMER: Any similarity with persons living or brain dead is purely coincidental.

y:-"
Hold everything lightly. If you don't, it will hurt when God pries your fingers loose as He takes it from you. -Corrie Ten Boom

+ + +

If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.

+ + +

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RickD
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Re: Jew Jitsu

#6

Post by RickD » Mon Dec 07, 2015 2:31 pm

Furstentum Liechtenstein wrote:
RickD wrote:Why do I find it difficult to believe that someone named Rick, would go to a Talmudic school? I'm starting to think someone is teasing me. y:-?
DISCLAIMER: Any similarity with persons living or brain dead is purely coincidental.

y:-"
Yep...that's me alright! y@-)
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Furstentum Liechtenstein (Mon Dec 07, 2015 2:34 pm)
John 5:24
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.

Kenny wrote:
"You don’t need faith, logic, reason, proof, or anything else to be atheist, all you need to do is reject what someone told you."



St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony

User avatar
Furstentum Liechtenstein
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Posts: 3295
Joined: Mon May 08, 2006 6:55 pm
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Has liked: 110 times
Been liked: 34 times

Re: Jew Jitsu

#7

Post by Furstentum Liechtenstein » Mon Dec 07, 2015 7:39 pm

A Jewish man goes to synagogue and prays,

«G-d, if you make me win the lottery, I'll give a 50% cut to mitzvahs.»

So on the way home he buys a lottery ticket but doesn't win. A week later, he returns to synagogue and prays,

«G-d, if you make me win the lottery, I'll give a 40% cut to mitzvahs and a 30% cut to the yeshiva!»

On the way home, he buys another lottery ticket but doesn't win this time either. A week later, he decides to go to a church and prays,

«...Jesus, this is Rick. You don't know me but my goy friends say you're god. Listen, Jesus, if you make me win the lottery, I'll give your church a 50% cut.»

On the way home, Rick buys a lottery ticket and wins $100,000,000!

The next day, Rick goes to synagogue and prays,

«Now I know You are the real G-d because You knew I never intended to give You your cut!»
Hold everything lightly. If you don't, it will hurt when God pries your fingers loose as He takes it from you. -Corrie Ten Boom

+ + +

If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.

+ + +

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RickD
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Re: Jew Jitsu

#8

Post by RickD » Mon Dec 07, 2015 8:26 pm

Furstentum Liechtenstein wrote:A Jewish man goes to synagogue and prays,

«G-d, if you make me win the lottery, I'll give a 50% cut to mitzvahs.»

So on the way home he buys a lottery ticket but doesn't win. A week later, he returns to synagogue and prays,

«G-d, if you make me win the lottery, I'll give a 40% cut to mitzvahs and a 30% cut to the yeshiva!»

On the way home, he buys another lottery ticket but doesn't win this time either. A week later, he decides to go to a church and prays,

«...Jesus, this is Rick. You don't know me but my goy friends say you're god. Listen, Jesus, if you make me win the lottery, I'll give your church a 50% cut.»

On the way home, Rick buys a lottery ticket and wins $100,000,000!

The next day, Rick goes to synagogue and prays,

«Now I know You are the real G-d because You knew I never intended to give You your cut!»
Wow, sounds like me when I was much younger, and drank too much.

Me(as I'm kneeling on the floor, hugging the toilet):"God, PLEEEZE! If you get me through this, just this one time, I Proooomise I'll never drink again!" :xxpuke:
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Furstentum Liechtenstein (Tue Dec 08, 2015 4:54 am) • FlawedIntellect (Wed Jan 13, 2016 7:46 am)
John 5:24
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.

Kenny wrote:
"You don’t need faith, logic, reason, proof, or anything else to be atheist, all you need to do is reject what someone told you."



St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony

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