Please hold while we redirect your call!

Got some good and clean jokes to share? Everyone likes a laugh.
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Furstentum Liechtenstein
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Please hold while we redirect your call!

#1

Post by Furstentum Liechtenstein » Sun May 16, 2010 4:36 pm

''Welcome to Saint Jude's Psychiatric Hospital. Your call is important to us! Please choose one of the following options:

-If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

-If you are co-dependent, ask your enabler to press 2.

-If you have Multiple Personality Disorder, press 3,4,5 and 6.

-If you are paranoid, we know who you are. Stay on line while we trace your call.

-If you have hallucinations, press 7 to transfer your call to the orbiting Mother Ship.

-If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a voice will tell you which button to press.

-If you are manic-depressive, you'll be miserable whichever button you press.

-If you have short-term amnesia, press 9.

-If you have short-term amnesia, press 9.

-If you have short-term amnesia, press 9.

-If you have poor self-esteem, hang up now. All of our operators have better things to do than waste their time on you.

-If you are blonde, DO NOT TOUCH A THING or you'll screw everything up! Hang up now! HANG UP NOW!''
Hold everything lightly. If you don't, it will hurt when God pries your fingers loose as He takes it from you. -Corrie Ten Boom

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If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.

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RickD
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Re: Please hold while we redirect your call!

#2

Post by RickD » Thu Aug 27, 2015 1:27 pm

I just saw this.
:pound:
John 5:24
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.

Kenny wrote:
"You don’t need faith, logic, reason, proof, or anything else to be atheist, all you need to do is reject what someone told you."



St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony

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Nessa
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Re: Please hold while we redirect your call!

#3

Post by Nessa » Thu Aug 27, 2015 1:37 pm

What if you are several of these? Ok, this is just confusing :econfused:

:mrgreen:

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Philip
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Re: Please hold while we redirect your call!

#4

Post by Philip » Thu Aug 27, 2015 8:35 pm

Yep, a funny, brilliant riff on automated phone systems! I miss him.

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Storyteller
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Re: Please hold while we redirect your call!

#5

Post by Storyteller » Thu Aug 27, 2015 10:52 pm

Me too :(
Faith is a knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof - Kahlil Gibran

KittyCathy
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Re: Please hold while we redirect your call!

#6

Post by KittyCathy » Tue Sep 01, 2015 10:47 am

I saw it before, but it's still funny :D

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