some groaners

Got some good and clean jokes to share? Everyone likes a laugh.
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JCSx2
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some groaners

#1

Post by JCSx2 » Mon Jan 26, 2009 11:41 am

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.



2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.



3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.



4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.



5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his orders.



6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.



7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.



8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.



9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.



10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.



11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.



12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.



13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'



14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.



15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'



16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'



17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.



19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.



20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.



21. A backward poet writes inverse.



22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.



23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.



24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!
Definition of a Veteran. A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America", for an amount of "up to and including his life." That is honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.

cslewislover
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Re: some groaners

#2

Post by cslewislover » Mon Jan 26, 2009 4:06 pm

:lol: Thanks for those. 14 made me laugh, and I liked 8, 17, and 23 as well. :clap:
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Swamper
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Re: some groaners

#3

Post by Swamper » Wed Jan 28, 2009 12:05 am

I lost some IQ points on that one...
God's in his Heaven, all's right with the world.

Zebulon
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Re: some groaners

#4

Post by Zebulon » Wed Jan 28, 2009 10:03 am

Very subtile...
My favorite ones :
JCSx2 wrote:12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!
:mrgreen:
Thanks,

Victor

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Re: some groaners

#5

Post by Cactus » Thu Jan 29, 2009 10:58 am

YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO LIKE THEM! :shock:

(but 1 or 2 are funny i admit)

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Re: some groaners

#6

Post by For_Narniaaa » Sat May 16, 2009 12:36 pm

JCSx2 wrote:10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
I had to read that twice before I got it. :shakehead:

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