UNFUNNIES.

Got some good and clean jokes to share? Everyone likes a laugh.
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Jac3510
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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#31

Post by Jac3510 » Wed Mar 25, 2009 5:43 am

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
Where's my tractor?

What do you get when you cross a skunk with a computer?
A CPU

What letters of the alphabet scare a robber the most?
OICU

What is the difference between a duck?
The higher he flies, the more, and one leg stays the same

But why does a duck have webbed feet?
To stamp out forest fires

Why does an elephant have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks

Why do elephants where red shoes?
To hide in cherry trees

Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
No? Then it must work.

Why is there a sign in front of the cherry tree forest that says "DO NOT ENTER AFTER 5 PM"?
Because that is when the elephants jump out of the cherry trees

Why are the Pygmies so short?
Because they went in the cherry tree forest after five!
Proinsias wrote:I don't think you are hearing me. Preference for ice cream is a moral issue
And that, brothers and sisters, is the kind of foolishness you get people who insist on denying biblical theism. A good illustration of any as the length people will go to avoid acknowledging basic truths.

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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#32

Post by cslewislover » Wed Mar 25, 2009 9:50 am

Jac3510 wrote:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
Where's my tractor?
The unfunniness of this makes it funny. :D

But why does a duck have webbed feet?
To stamp out forest fires
When I first read this, I actually thought it was funny (I'm easily amused, apparently). But then after reading the rest, it didn't seem funny anymore. Weird. Some kind of lesson in how to make something funny, unfunny.
A Southern Baptist preacher walks into a bar.
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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#33

Post by zoegirl » Wed Mar 25, 2009 10:04 am

Maybe I have a weird sense of humor but I love these. The two that my dad would tell me were about the duck and the elephant having webbed and flat feet. I liek the rest because, funny or not, it does tie everything together!
"And we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Jesus Christ"

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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#34

Post by For_Narniaaa » Mon May 18, 2009 9:58 am

zoegirl wrote:Aw man, I still like these! I love to groan at puns

Where does a General keep his armies? IN his sleevies of course!!
:pound: Love it!
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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#35

Post by Proinsias » Tue May 19, 2009 3:47 am

Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It turned into a field.

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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#36

Post by zoegirl » Tue May 19, 2009 8:12 am

<GROAN!>
"And we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Jesus Christ"

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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#37

Post by zoegirl » Tue May 19, 2009 8:13 am

When is a door not a door?
























When it's ajar!!
"And we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Jesus Christ"

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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#38

Post by Proinsias » Tue May 19, 2009 8:33 am

zoegirl wrote:<GROAN!>

I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing in the unfunnies thread

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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#39

Post by zoegirl » Tue May 19, 2009 8:38 am

It goes in the "that's so bad it's good" category and deserving of a groan and a shak eof the head...
"And we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Jesus Christ"

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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#40

Post by Proinsias » Tue May 19, 2009 4:56 pm

What's brown and sticky?





















A stick!



I'll stop now

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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#41

Post by cslewislover » Tue May 19, 2009 6:53 pm

Proinsias wrote:Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It turned into a field.
:lol:
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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#42

Post by For_Narniaaa » Thu May 21, 2009 3:59 pm

zoegirl wrote:When is a door not a door?
When it's ajar!!
:clap:
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"The God of the universe---the Creator of nitrogen and pine needles, galaxies and E-minor---loves you with a radical, unconditional, self-sacrificing love." ~Francis Chan

Banner credit: arwen-undomiel.com

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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#43

Post by ageofknowledge » Mon Aug 10, 2009 4:17 pm

Impossible to Please
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."

They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#44

Post by zoegirl » Mon Aug 10, 2009 4:49 pm

Of course, I can't help bof say that the genders could easily be switched.... what's good for the goose...
"And we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Jesus Christ"

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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#45

Post by ageofknowledge » Mon Aug 10, 2009 5:12 pm

zoegirl wrote:Of course, I can't help bof say that the genders could easily be switched.... what's good for the goose...
is good for the Gander?

:lol:

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