UNFUNNIES.

Got some good and clean jokes to share? Everyone likes a laugh.
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Cactus
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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#16

Post by Cactus » Sat Jan 03, 2009 6:22 pm

here is a good unfunny joke:

Unfunnypedia

Excerpt:
Christopher "wonder woman" Reeve was widely accepted as the best Doctor since the last one.

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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#17

Post by Harry12345 » Sun Jan 04, 2009 3:40 pm

Cactus wrote:here is a good unfunny joke:

Unfunnypedia

Excerpt:
Christopher "wonder woman" Reeve was widely accepted as the best Doctor since the last one.
There's "so bad it's good", and then there's "so bad it's repulsive". Unhumourpedia falls into the latter catogory. :shakehead:
If you're born once, you die twice; but if you're born twice, you die once.

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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#18

Post by Cactus » Sun Jan 04, 2009 5:20 pm

yes it does... Funnily enough Encyclopedia Dramatica does manage to be funny sometimes...even if sick 90% of the rest of times.

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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#19

Post by cslewislover » Fri Jan 09, 2009 10:30 am

For those with children.

Why did the chicken cross the playground?













To get to the other slide.
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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#20

Post by zoegirl » Fri Jan 09, 2009 10:58 am

Now I'm sorry, but that made me laugh.... :lol:
"And we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Jesus Christ"

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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#21

Post by cslewislover » Fri Jan 09, 2009 11:06 am

Unfunnypedia. I went to that site to check it out, and the name has been changed to Uncyclopedia, just for anyone's info. Since the is a God and Science board, I looked up "science." Then entry has a lot about religion in it too, so I thought I'd post it. I did edit parts out, however, that I thought wouldn't be appropriate for this site (and to make it shorter).

Science
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

“Can it blow me up?”
~ Saddam on Science

Science is the name given to a sort of magic created by magicians who call themselves "scientists". Science has been disproving religious beliefs since the 1900's. No-one can go to church without saying to oneself..."science already proved that wrong". People think that science is just a class you take in school, but it will change the world. Soon, we will be saying "Oh my Science" and "Science be praised", or perhaps even "Science willing".

History of Science

Pythagoras doesn't want you to know the TRUTH, man. Science originated from the scientific method, a method in which any hypothesis or theory that has been proven wrong in experiments or real-life experience is permanently discarded. Therefore, science refers to the practice of meticulously removing pieces of information from the sum of human knowledge. The ultimate goal of this practice is to make the sum of human knowledge equal zero, although it is hypothesized that towards the end, the knowledge of how to remove knowledge will be removed, and thus human knowledge will never equal zero.

The methodology and reasoning behind science has changed considerably since ancient times, especially with the invention of the Scientific Way of Doing Things (note that this procedure was renamed after the second half of its previous title was removed from the dictionary).

In 1995 Noel Edmonds formed, with Ron Hubbard's help, the science institute. What we know about science has recently been written on the back of a postage stamp at Albert College Cambridge. The project, part of ten-year program of generic definition used a maser focused on the sum of human knowledge to generate results. As reported in the UK Science Journal Nu Scientist, the researchers were reported to be 'disappointed' and 'keen to forget the whole thing'.

Plus we all just like the section in school about human reproductive organs.

Science of History

Science was derived from the Greek word "Nerdalius" meaning smart crap no-one cares about, or even understands (thus the language of ancient Greek is itself a science).

In a certain sense, science has always existed. However, in a correct sense, science was invented in 1200 BC by a Greek. His name is unknown, since the first scientific experiment involved removing knowledge of his own name from the minds of everyone.

Science in those days was closely related to philosophy and the arts; mostly this relation was sort of like a jealous older brother who beats his siblings up. This was, however, the desired effect; one of the reasons science was conceived of was to [have a beer] "those damned snooty artists" (Heron, Why All You Fresco Painters Can **********, page 10). Proto-scientists from this period were just as often soothsayers as they were reputable experts. Nevertheless, many stunning breakthroughs were made during this period, most of which had practical unapplications, such as the de-invention of fire.

History, Science of

One of the early successes in science was Euclid's What Elements?, which organized and then destroyed all knowledge of standard geometry in one tome. The only residual knowledge we have of geometry is Euclid's Theorem of Euclid, which states: If A=B and B is the circumference of Euclid, then Euclid is an awesome dude. QED.

Science, however, faced dark times during the Middle Ages, when religious oppression by the Catholic Church started a new wave of discovery. Among the ideas perpetuated during this bleak period:

The Earth is semi-spherical in shape, and orbits the sun, which is yellow (see also Flat Earth Society)
Everything is composed of tiny particles called atoms
Maybe this democracy thing might be fun to try.

However, the Church experienced a great drop in influence during a period in the 17th century known as "That Time When We Lost a lot of Our Words for Things," a period of intense scientific growth. While science healed quickly and easily reconciled most facts perpetuated by the Church, scars still remain to this day which science is trying desperately to forget.

Scientific Way of Doing Things

Developed at the precise moment everyone thought science was just a passing fad, the Scientific Way of Doing Things formalized the approach scientists would take to remove knowledge from human minds, allowing the field to flourish and fully separate itself from its mystic beginnings. In the words of metascience expert John "Don't quote me on this" Smith, "The Scientific Way of Doing Things is based on the ancient divination ritual of Guess and Check. Thanks to the innovations of the past century, we've been able to remove the 'Check' phase."

The Scientific Way of Doing Things is strictly adhered to by all respectable scientists and involves 6 steps:

Find a piece of information you dislike. In our example, we will use the statement "1+1=2"
Form a statement which will take its place ("1+1=Dolemite")
Email this statement to everyone you know. Include the subject line "FWD: Something u didn't know!!! I no i didn't!"
Publish an article on your Myspace.
Brush your teeth. A fresh smile adds a layer of believability.
?????
Profit.

The Purpose of Science

Image

Areas of Science
Science Fiction
homework
Windows Vista
Mac OS X
NASA news
Alchemy
Robots
Cars
WORLD DOMINATION
Nerd
Nerdy Bully-ology
Nerdy Girl-ology
WoW
Sandwichology
bullsh**
blowing sh** up

Specialized Areas
Bunsen Burnerism

Disputed Areas
Physics
Biology
Chemistry
Astronomy
Geology

See also
Religion
Cult
Lie

Not To Be Confused With
Fact
Scientists
Scientology
Mad Science
Walgreens Drug Store
Crackpot religious theories
Science FACT
Science Olympiad
Popular science
Chickenbox
Flat Earth Society
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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#22

Post by Cactus » Fri Jan 09, 2009 11:26 am

wow...but srsly i bet the ED page is a million times thunier.

Check out the ED page on science...its sooo funny.
To be fair, ED mocks everything :twisted: and should not be taken seriously! So do not take it very seriously if you go to their page on Jesus and find a picture "gallery of Jesus with guns"

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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#23

Post by rodyshusband » Sun Jan 18, 2009 7:07 am

A Rabbi, a priest and a nun walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "What is this...a joke?"
“Christianity provides a unified answer for the whole of life.” -- Francis Schaeffer

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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#24

Post by Harry12345 » Sun Jan 18, 2009 7:43 am

Where does Sarah Palin come from?
I'll ask her.
If you're born once, you die twice; but if you're born twice, you die once.

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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#25

Post by JC333 » Fri Mar 20, 2009 9:01 pm

What happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea?
It get's wet.




A man was swinging on a swing and fell off. Why?
He had no arms and legs.


Why is Hellen Keller a bad driver?
Because she's a women.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs who is on the floor?
Matt

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs who is in the water?
Bob

What do you call a girl with one leg?
Eileen

How do you get 10 dead babies into a bowl.
Blend them up.

How do you get those 10 dead babies out?
Tortilla chips.


These are bad....and not funny.



So just to offset all of the above:

Did you hear about the guy who lost his left side? He's all RIGHT now.

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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#26

Post by cslewislover » Fri Mar 20, 2009 9:28 pm

JC333 wrote:A man was swinging on a swing and fell off. Why?
He had no arms and legs.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs who is on the floor?
Matt
:pound: :pound: I'm sick.
How do you get 10 dead babies into a bowl.
Blend them up.

How do you get those 10 dead babies out?
Tortilla chips.
:( But not that sick.

Did you hear about the guy who lost his left side? He's all RIGHT now.
OK. That was unfunny.
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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#27

Post by Harry12345 » Sun Mar 22, 2009 1:14 pm

How do you save a lawyer from choking?
Take your foot off his neck.

y#-o
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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#28

Post by cslewislover » Sun Mar 22, 2009 6:02 pm

Harry12345 wrote:How do you save a lawyer from choking?
Take your foot off his neck.

y#-o
:D I thought that was funny.
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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#29

Post by JC333 » Tue Mar 24, 2009 7:14 pm

cslewislover wrote:
Harry12345 wrote:How do you save a lawyer from choking?
Take your foot off his neck.

y#-o
:D I thought that was funny.
I don't get it 8-}2

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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#30

Post by Jac3510 » Wed Mar 25, 2009 5:37 am

Harry12345 wrote:
Swamper wrote:A guy walks into a bar, has a couple of drinks, and leaves.
HAHAHA lolz lmao!!!111!111!!

A man walks into a bar and says, "Doctor, doctor! I think I need glasses!"
A Southern Baptist preacher walks into a bar.
Proinsias wrote:I don't think you are hearing me. Preference for ice cream is a moral issue
And that, brothers and sisters, is the kind of foolishness you get people who insist on denying biblical theism. A good illustration of any as the length people will go to avoid acknowledging basic truths.

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