What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
Where's my tractor?
What do you get when you cross a skunk with a computer?
A CPU
What letters of the alphabet scare a robber the most?
OICU
What is the difference between a duck?
The higher he flies, the more, and one leg stays the same
But why does a duck have webbed feet?
To stamp out forest fires
Why does an elephant have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks
Why do elephants where red shoes?
To hide in cherry trees
Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
No? Then it must work.
Why is there a sign in front of the cherry tree forest that says "DO NOT ENTER AFTER 5 PM"?
Because that is when the elephants jump out of the cherry trees
Why are the Pygmies so short?
Because they went in the cherry tree forest after five!
UNFUNNIES.
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Jac3510
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Re: UNFUNNIES.
And that, brothers and sisters, is the kind of foolishness you get people who insist on denying biblical theism. A good illustration of any as the length people will go to avoid acknowledging basic truths.Proinsias wrote:I don't think you are hearing me. Preference for ice cream is a moral issue
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cslewislover
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Re: UNFUNNIES.
The unfunniness of this makes it funny.Jac3510 wrote:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
Where's my tractor?
When I first read this, I actually thought it was funny (I'm easily amused, apparently). But then after reading the rest, it didn't seem funny anymore. Weird. Some kind of lesson in how to make something funny, unfunny.But why does a duck have webbed feet?
To stamp out forest fires
A Southern Baptist preacher walks into a bar.
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zoegirl
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Re: UNFUNNIES.
Maybe I have a weird sense of humor but I love these. The two that my dad would tell me were about the duck and the elephant having webbed and flat feet. I liek the rest because, funny or not, it does tie everything together!
"And we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Jesus Christ"
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For_Narniaaa
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Re: UNFUNNIES.
zoegirl wrote:Aw man, I still like these! I love to groan at puns
Where does a General keep his armies? IN his sleevies of course!!
Love it!
"Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true knowledge." ~Proverbs 1:7
"The God of the universe---the Creator of nitrogen and pine needles, galaxies and E-minor---loves you with a radical, unconditional, self-sacrificing love." ~Francis Chan
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Proinsias
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Re: UNFUNNIES.
Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It turned into a field.
It turned into a field.
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zoegirl
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Re: UNFUNNIES.
When is a door not a door?
When it's ajar!!
When it's ajar!!
"And we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Jesus Christ"
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Proinsias
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Re: UNFUNNIES.
zoegirl wrote:<GROAN!>
I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing in the unfunnies thread
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zoegirl
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Re: UNFUNNIES.
It goes in the "that's so bad it's good" category and deserving of a groan and a shak eof the head...
"And we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Jesus Christ"
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Proinsias
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Re: UNFUNNIES.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick!
I'll stop now
A stick!
I'll stop now
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cslewislover
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Re: UNFUNNIES.
Proinsias wrote:Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It turned into a field.
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For_Narniaaa
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Re: UNFUNNIES.
zoegirl wrote:When is a door not a door?
When it's ajar!!
"Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true knowledge." ~Proverbs 1:7
"The God of the universe---the Creator of nitrogen and pine needles, galaxies and E-minor---loves you with a radical, unconditional, self-sacrificing love." ~Francis Chan
Banner credit: arwen-undomiel.com
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ageofknowledge
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Re: UNFUNNIES.
Impossible to Please
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.
The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."
So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.
The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.
They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."
They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.
On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.
There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.
The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."
So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.
The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.
They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."
They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.
On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.
There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
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zoegirl
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Re: UNFUNNIES.
Of course, I can't help bof say that the genders could easily be switched.... what's good for the goose...
"And we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Jesus Christ"
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ageofknowledge
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Re: UNFUNNIES.
is good for the Gander?zoegirl wrote:Of course, I can't help bof say that the genders could easily be switched.... what's good for the goose...