UNFUNNIES.

Got some good and clean jokes to share? Everyone likes a laugh.
WConn
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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#46

Post by WConn » Mon Aug 10, 2009 5:25 pm

How do you get down off a horse?













Answer: You don't get down off a horse,

YOU GET DOWN OFF A GOOSE!

(GOOSE DOWN, GET IT?)

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zoegirl
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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#47

Post by zoegirl » Mon Aug 10, 2009 5:41 pm

One of my favorites
"And we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Jesus Christ"

Proinsias
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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#48

Post by Proinsias » Sat Jan 16, 2010 2:36 pm

A man comes home one day to see his flatmate drinking brake fluid.

"What on earth are you doing ?", he asks.

"Don't worry", his friend replies, "I can stop whenever I want."

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zoegirl
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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#49

Post by zoegirl » Sat Jan 16, 2010 3:13 pm

y#-o
"And we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Jesus Christ"

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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#50

Post by cslewislover » Sat Jan 16, 2010 5:30 pm

lol
Image
"I believe in Christianity as I believe the sun has risen, not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else." C.S. Lewis

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Ngakunui
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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#51

Post by Ngakunui » Sun Jan 17, 2010 4:29 am

Why can't a moonbat fly?


It only has a left wing.

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Furstentum Liechtenstein
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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#52

Post by Furstentum Liechtenstein » Sun Jan 17, 2010 7:49 am

In her classroom, Zoegirl is conducting a scientific experiment. Her students watch as she pours clean water into one glass and pure whisky into a second glass. Then, she drops an earthworm into each glass. «Pay attention to the worms, class!» Zoegirl admonishes. The students watch as the worm in the water swims around happily while the worm in the whisky curls up and sinks to the bottom of the glass.

«Now what does this demonstration tell us?» Zoegirl asks.

Little Johnny - who sits way at the back and never participates - raises his hand. Zoegirl motions that he may speak and Johnny answers,

«If you don't want to get worms, drink whisky.»
Hold everything lightly. If you don't, it will hurt when God pries your fingers loose as He takes it from you. -Corrie Ten Boom

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If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.

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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#53

Post by zoegirl » Sun Jan 17, 2010 10:48 am

like the personal approach!!!

:lol:
"And we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Jesus Christ"

DannyM
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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#54

Post by DannyM » Sun Jan 17, 2010 3:36 pm

WConn wrote:How do you get down off a horse?













Answer: You don't get down off a horse,

YOU GET DOWN OFF A GOOSE!

(GOOSE DOWN, GET IT?)
I know that having to explain a joke ruins the whole thing b ut, umm, can someone please explain this for me... ;)
credo ut intelligam

dei gratia

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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#55

Post by DannyM » Sun Jan 17, 2010 3:39 pm

Fürstentum Liechtenstein wrote:In her classroom, Zoegirl is conducting a scientific experiment. Her students watch as she pours clean water into one glass and pure whisky into a second glass. Then, she drops an earthworm into each glass. «Pay attention to the worms, class!» Zoegirl admonishes. The students watch as the worm in the water swims around happily while the worm in the whisky curls up and sinks to the bottom of the glass.

«Now what does this demonstration tell us?» Zoegirl asks.

Little Johnny - who sits way at the back and never participates - raises his hand. Zoegirl motions that he may speak and Johnny answers,

«If you don't want to get worms, drink whisky.»

:pound:

Now this I like!
credo ut intelligam

dei gratia

Proinsias
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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#56

Post by Proinsias » Sun Jan 17, 2010 5:48 pm

Danny:

Here's some goose down:

Image

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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#57

Post by DannyM » Sun Jan 17, 2010 5:59 pm

Proinsias wrote:Danny:

Here's some goose down:

Image
Proinsias,

Thank you sir. You remember Trigger, right? (Only Fools & Horses.) Well, I am sometimes given this name by friends...Scandalous! ;)
credo ut intelligam

dei gratia

Proinsias
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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#58

Post by Proinsias » Sun Jan 17, 2010 8:22 pm

Scandalous

Now I want to meet the offline Danny

DannyM
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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#59

Post by DannyM » Mon Jan 18, 2010 4:00 pm

Proinsias wrote:Scandalous

Now I want to meet the offline Danny
Aye well I'll be in Glasgee in a few months so we could have a beer anytime you like friend... ;)
credo ut intelligam

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Proinsias
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Re: UNFUNNIES.

#60

Post by Proinsias » Wed Jan 20, 2010 6:24 pm

Drop me a pm if you're in the area, would be nice to see you for a beer.


But will Vicky and Nathaniel have meet for coffee first?

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