The Hermeneutics of the Stop Sign

Got some good and clean jokes to share? Everyone likes a laugh.
Post Reply
User avatar
Jac3510
Ultimate Member
Posts: 5489
Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2004 6:53 pm
Christian: Yes
Sex: Male
Creation Position: Young-Earth Creationist
Location: Fort Smith, AR
Has liked: 137 times
Been liked: 336 times
Contact:

The Hermeneutics of the Stop Sign

#1

Post by Jac3510 » Mon Oct 06, 2008 8:02 am

The Hermeneutics of the Stop Sign
(Found on the Internet)
Suppose you're traveling to work and you see a stop sign. What do you do? That depends on how you, the exegete, interpret the stop sign.

1. A post-modernist deconstructs the sign (knocks it over with the car), ending forever the tyranny of the north-south traffic over the east-west traffic.

2. Similarly, a Marxist refuses to stop because she sees the stop sign as an instrument of class conflict. She concludes that the bourgeois use the north-south road and obstruct the progress of the workers in the east-west road.

3. A serious and educated Catholic rolls through the intersection because he believes he cannot understand the stop sign apart from its interpretive community and tradition. Observing that the interpretive community doesn't take it too seriously, he doesn't feel obligated to take it too seriously either.

4. An average Catholic (or Orthodox or Coptic or Anglican or Methodist or Presbyterian or whatever) doesn't bother to read the sign but she'll stop the car if the car in front stops.

5. A fundamentalist, taking the text very literally, stops at the stop sign and waits for it to tell him to go.

6. A seminary-educated evangelical preacher might look up "STOP" in his lexicons of English and discover that it can mean: 1) something that prevents motion, such as a plug for a drain, or a block of wood that prevents a door from closing; 2) a location where a train or bus lets off passengers. The main point of his sermon the following Sunday on this text is: When you see a stop sign, it is a place where traffic is naturally clogged, so it is a good place to let off passengers from your car.

7. An orthodox Jew does one of two things: a) Take another route to work that doesn't have a stop sign so that she doesn't run the risk of disobeying the Law; b) Stop at the sign, say "Blessed art thou, O Lord our God, king of the universe, who hast given us thy commandment to stop," wait three seconds according to her watch, and then proceed. Incidentally, the Talmud has the following comments on this passage: Rabbi Meir says: He who does not stop shall not live long. R. Hillel says: Cursed is he who does not count to three before proceeding. R. Simon ben Yudah says: Why three? Because the Holy One, blessed be He, gave us the Law, the Prophets, and the Writings. R. ben Isaac says: Because of the three patriarchs. R. Yehuda says: Why bless the Lord at a stop sign? Because it says, "Be still and know that I am God."

8. A scholar from the Jesus Seminar concludes that the passage "STOP" undoubtedly was never uttered by Jesus himself because being the progressive Jew that he was, he would never have wanted to stifle people's progress. Therefore, STOP must be a textual insertion belonging entirely to stage III of the gospel tradition, when the Church was first confronted by traffic in its parking lot.

9. A New Testament scholar notices that there is no stop sign on Mark street but there is one on Matthew and Luke streets, and concludes that the ones on Luke and Matthew streets are both copied from a sign on a street no one has ever seen, called "Q" street. The scholar has read an excellent 300-page doctoral dissertation on the origin of these stop signs and the differences between stop signs on Matthew and Luke. There is an unfortunate omission in the dissertation, however; it doesn't explain the meaning of the text!

10. A Hebrew Scriptures scholar points out that there are a number of stylistic differences between the first and second half of the passage "STOP." For example, "ST" contains no enclosed areas and five line endings, whereas "OP" contains two enclosed areas and only one line termination. She concludes that the author of the second part is different from the author of the first part and probably lived hundreds of years later. Later scholars determine that the second half is itself actually written by two separate authors because of similar stylistic differences between the "O" and the "P."

11. Another prominent OT scholar notes in his commentary that the stop sign would fit better into the context three streets back. (Unfortunately, he neglects to explain why in his commentary.) Clearly it was moved to its present location by a later redactor. He thus exegetes the intersection as though the sign were not there.

12. Because of the difficulties in interpretation, yet another OT scholar amends the text, changing the "T" to "H". "SHOP" is much easier to understand in context than "STOP" because of the multiplicity of stores in the area. She demonstrates that the textual corruption probably occurred because "SHOP" is so similar to "STOP" on the sign several streets back, that it is a natural mistake for a scribe to make. Thus the sign should be interpreted to announce the existence of a shopping area. If this is true, it could indicate that both meanings are valid, thus making the thrust of the message "STOP (AND) SHOP." She goes shopping.

13. A "prophetic" preacher notices that the square root of the sum of the numeric representations of the letters S-T-O-P (sigma-tau-omicron-pi in the Greek alphabet), multiplied by 40 (the number of testing), and divided by four (the number of the world — north, south, east, and west) equals 666. Therefore, he concludes that stop signs are the dreaded "mark of the beast," a harbinger of divine judgment upon the world, and must be avoided at all costs.
Proinsias wrote:I don't think you are hearing me. Preference for ice cream is a moral issue
And that, brothers and sisters, is the kind of foolishness you get people who insist on denying biblical theism. A good illustration of any as the length people will go to avoid acknowledging basic truths.

User avatar
Byblos
Old School
Posts: 5962
Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2005 12:21 pm
Christian: Yes
Location: NY
Has liked: 95 times
Been liked: 139 times

Re: The Hermeneutics of the Stop Sign

#2

Post by Byblos » Mon Oct 06, 2008 10:21 am

:pound: :pound: :pound: :pound: :pound:
Let us proclaim the mystery of our faith: Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ will come again.

Lord I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.

Daniel
Recognized Member
Posts: 98
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2008 6:09 pm
Christian: Yes
Sex: Male
Creation Position: Theistic Evolution
Location: Lawrence, Kansas
Has liked: 0
Been liked: 0
Contact:

Re: The Hermeneutics of the Stop Sign

#3

Post by Daniel » Mon Oct 06, 2008 12:35 pm

Very funny! :pound:

User avatar
Cross.eyed
Valued Member
Posts: 461
Joined: Mon Nov 12, 2007 3:45 am
Christian: Yes
Sex: Male
Creation Position: Undecided
Location: Kentucky U.S.A.
Has liked: 0
Been liked: 0

Re: The Hermeneutics of the Stop Sign

#4

Post by Cross.eyed » Wed Oct 08, 2008 6:41 am

:pound: The best one yet.

Thanks Jac!
I am the wretch the song refers to.

User avatar
Kurieuo
Honored Member
Posts: 9958
Joined: Thu Aug 05, 2004 6:25 am
Christian: Yes
Sex: Male
Creation Position: Progressive Creationist
Location: Qld, Australia
Has liked: 634 times
Been liked: 653 times

Re: The Hermeneutics of the Stop Sign

#5

Post by Kurieuo » Wed Oct 08, 2008 9:46 pm

I don't get it y:-/ :econfused:

FFC
Prestigious Senior Member
Posts: 1684
Joined: Fri Mar 03, 2006 7:11 pm
Christian: Yes
Sex: Male
Creation Position: Young-Earth Creationist
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
Has liked: 0
Been liked: 0

Re: The Hermeneutics of the Stop Sign

#6

Post by FFC » Thu Oct 09, 2008 5:19 am

Kurieuo wrote:I don't get it y:-/ :econfused:
It's the absurdity of theological views taken to the extreme :ewink:
"Faith sees the invisible, believes the unbelievable, and receives the impossible." - Corrie Ten Boom

Act 9:6
And he trembling and astonished said, Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?

User avatar
Swamper
Valued Member
Posts: 251
Joined: Tue Aug 01, 2006 2:36 pm
Christian: Yes
Sex: Male
Creation Position: Day-Age
Location: Over there
Has liked: 0
Been liked: 0
Contact:

Re: The Hermeneutics of the Stop Sign

#7

Post by Swamper » Thu Oct 09, 2008 9:49 pm

Pretty funny. My friend showed me a variation of this joke, except that instead of people of different theological persuasions at a stop sign, it was various military people encountering a snake. I'll find a link and put it up here.
God's in his Heaven, all's right with the world.

User avatar
Kurieuo
Honored Member
Posts: 9958
Joined: Thu Aug 05, 2004 6:25 am
Christian: Yes
Sex: Male
Creation Position: Progressive Creationist
Location: Qld, Australia
Has liked: 634 times
Been liked: 653 times

Re: The Hermeneutics of the Stop Sign

#8

Post by Kurieuo » Fri Oct 10, 2008 4:09 am

FFC wrote:
Kurieuo wrote:I don't get it y:-/ :econfused:
It's the absurdity of theological views taken to the extreme :ewink:
Ohh.... I still don't get it. ;)

FFC
Prestigious Senior Member
Posts: 1684
Joined: Fri Mar 03, 2006 7:11 pm
Christian: Yes
Sex: Male
Creation Position: Young-Earth Creationist
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
Has liked: 0
Been liked: 0

Re: The Hermeneutics of the Stop Sign

#9

Post by FFC » Fri Oct 10, 2008 6:53 am

Kurieuo wrote:
FFC wrote:
Kurieuo wrote:I don't get it y:-/ :econfused:
It's the absurdity of theological views taken to the extreme :ewink:
Ohh.... I still don't get it. ;)
They should have had a Christian evolutionist who waited for the stop sign to evolve into a go sign.
"Faith sees the invisible, believes the unbelievable, and receives the impossible." - Corrie Ten Boom

Act 9:6
And he trembling and astonished said, Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?

User avatar
Jac3510
Ultimate Member
Posts: 5489
Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2004 6:53 pm
Christian: Yes
Sex: Male
Creation Position: Young-Earth Creationist
Location: Fort Smith, AR
Has liked: 137 times
Been liked: 336 times
Contact:

Re: The Hermeneutics of the Stop Sign

#10

Post by Jac3510 » Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:06 am

FFC wrote:They should have had a Christian evolutionist who waited for the stop sign to evolve into a go sign.
:lol:

That actually made me laugh out loud. Thanks much. I really, really needed a laugh this morning. :)
Proinsias wrote:I don't think you are hearing me. Preference for ice cream is a moral issue
And that, brothers and sisters, is the kind of foolishness you get people who insist on denying biblical theism. A good illustration of any as the length people will go to avoid acknowledging basic truths.

cslewislover
Ultimate Member
Posts: 2333
Joined: Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:09 pm
Christian: Yes
Sex: Female
Creation Position: Undecided
Location: Southern California
Has liked: 0
Been liked: 0
Contact:

Re: The Hermeneutics of the Stop Sign

#11

Post by cslewislover » Mon Oct 13, 2008 3:28 pm

:pound: :pound: :pound: I can't believe it, that is so great and hilarious. I'm going to share this one!
Image
"I believe in Christianity as I believe the sun has risen, not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else." C.S. Lewis

Post Reply