I have asked my mother about the issue, but she keeps repeating about faith and to be completely honest, that does not help me at all. I have prayed for a sign from God that he's there and have been since yesterday, possibly as soon as he could get one to me. I also prayed for him to make it out of the ordinary, so I'd know it's a sign and it would remove all shadow of a doubt from my heart. I want to believe, there's just not a lot for me to go on. I haven't noticed anything out of the usual.
Again, it's worrying me. I've done searches and that's how I came across this website. While it does shine some light on the issue ( the universe had to have a beginning, life had to have a beginning and everything couldn't exactly have had been an accident ), I still worry. There's always the possibility there that this is all there is and when I die, there will be nothing and the loved ones who have died are gone forever. That's unsettling and it scares me. I don't want there to be no God or no afterlife, but just jumping head first into believing feels like I'd just be self-medicating. Indeed, the universe had to have something jump start it into being. Also, life would have been too complicated to come about by its own means.
I've also thought about it and there are unsettling things science has not explained, at least not yet. Consciousness is hard to explain. Why am I able to observe the universe, be aware, and think these thoughts? Where is my consciousness located, and if it is a manifestation of the mind, why can't my thoughts have a physical location? As well, why would billions of cells in my body unite together in a single conscious mind? Why are humans the most advanced species, capable of advanced thought and science, while other animals are not? It seems nothing even came close to our advancements.
Also, there are universal constants that would make no sense to suddenly exist from nothing. As well, the fact that there are universal ideals of good and evil kidn of hint something's there.
It's like this darkness has carved a void into my heart. I'm sorry if my post sounds like whining, but I don't have a lot of faith.
The arguments atheists make about occam's razor where the simplest explanation is true are kind of fishy, but it scares me of the possibility that there is no God and everything came about with no intention, just existing. Then again, Occam's razor leads to faulty logic. For example:
So I wouldn't really suggest Occam's razor is the very basis of reason..A) Meat turns into flies.
B) Flies, landing on the meat to feed, lay small eggs in the meat which then turn into maggots, which soon turn into flies.
The suggestion of quantum physics goes both ways, though. Observation from a conscious mind causing prolapse and kind of technically matter to exist sounds like there's something there. However, the many universes explanation kind of discredits that, since things aren't constantly existing and not existing.
Is there anything I'm missing? Any other proofs of God and an afterlife? I need some help here. Please. I want actual reasons to believe. I'm a person of reason. In fact, I think too much. I don't believe I'm a bad person for wanting evidence. Again, I apologize, but I want something to go on..