zacchaeus, I can tell you what I believe. But, let me warn you, the topic of assurance of salvation, is pretty similar to this topic. In that, there's a whole spectrum of beliefs there, as well.
So you don't believe one can choose through repetitive sin (become reprobates) and choose to surrender their salvation?
Ephesians 1:11-14 also we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to His purpose who works all things after the counsel of His will, 12 to the end that we who were the first to hope in Christ would be to the praise of His glory. 13 In Him, you also, after listening to the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation—having also believed, you were sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of promise, 14 who is given as a pledge of our inheritance, with a view to the redemption of God’s own possession, to the praise of His glory.
I believe once God gives a believer the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, that believer is forever sealed in Christ. The Holy Spirit is given by God, as a pledge. A pledge, is a down payment, so to speak. God gives believers the Holy Spirit, as evidence, so we know
God's promises of salvation are true. A true believer, sealed with the indwelling of the HS, will continue to sin, as long as he is in his mortal body. It's almost like an internal civil war. between the Holy Spirit, and our old self.
The apostle Paul wrote it this way in Romans 7:14-20:
14For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin. 15For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. 16But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good. 17So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. 18For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. 19For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. 20But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.
and you don't believe in predestination, but you believe we have freewill choice to chose GOD and then we surrender our freewill as in its taken away, so we are in essence OSAS, and can never lose salvation even if we want to?
Zacchaeus, I do believe in predestination. I just define the word "predestination" differently, than some others.
Philippians 1:6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
God finishes the work He started in the true believer, by the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit. God conforms us to the image of Christ. We become less, He becomes more.
I'm sorry but... all this stuff is crazy and confusing me.
Zacchaeus, please go to God with this. He will show you what you need to know. Do you spend time alone with God, reading the bible, and praying to Him?
Jesus says in Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to Me, all [a]who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
zacc, go to God with your fears, and concerns. He is faithful. Trust God.