Prayers please

Whether you are new or just lurking, take a moment to introduce yourself or discuss something general.
User avatar
RickD
Make me a Sammich Member
Posts: 22063
Joined: Thu Jan 14, 2010 7:59 am
Christian: Yes
Sex: Male
Creation Position: Day-Age
Location: Kitchen

Prayers please

Post by RickD »

Hi all,

I need you to keep me in your prayers. I feel like I'm losing my mojo with the women. Usually when I post a joke here, or make a joke in "real life", the women really enjoy my sense of humor. I don't know what to do. I posted, using my usual biting sarcasm, and Melanie didn't find my joke funny. See?
http://discussions.godandscience.org/vi ... ng#p155762

I'm short, ugly, poor, and now my jokes don't make women laugh. What can I do? If my sense of humor is failing me, I have nothing left in life! I am a poor, poor soul!

Please pray for my mojo to return.
John 5:24
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.


“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow




St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
User avatar
Furstentum Liechtenstein
Ultimate Member
Posts: 3295
Joined: Mon May 08, 2006 6:55 pm
Christian: Yes
Sex: It's Complicated
Creation Position: Young-Earth Creationist
Location: Lower Canuckistan

Re: Prayers please

Post by Furstentum Liechtenstein »

Contact melanie directly and tell her you appreciate her. She's Australian, so she speaks with a funny accent, and she drives on the wrong side of the road. Ask Danieltwotwenty to teach you some Aussie Strine (something beyond ''G'day! You wash up good, mate!'') and write clearly that you enjoy her presence here... and tell her you like her to-the-point, succinct, no-nonsense posts.

I'm convinced that you are living through a cultural misunderstanding. Go for it, I'll pray for you (maybe, if I remember.)

FL :D
Hold everything lightly. If you don't, it will hurt when God pries your fingers loose as He takes it from you. -Corrie Ten Boom

+ + +

If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.

+ + +
User avatar
1over137
Technical Admin
Posts: 5329
Joined: Tue May 10, 2011 6:05 am
Christian: Yes
Sex: Female
Creation Position: Undecided
Location: Slovakia
Contact:

Re: Prayers please

Post by 1over137 »

Ok, let me see. Am woman. Try some joke.
But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good.
-- 1 Thessalonians 5:21

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.
-- Philippians 1:6

#foreverinmyheart
User avatar
RickD
Make me a Sammich Member
Posts: 22063
Joined: Thu Jan 14, 2010 7:59 am
Christian: Yes
Sex: Male
Creation Position: Day-Age
Location: Kitchen

Re: Prayers please

Post by RickD »

1over137 wrote:Ok, let me see. Am woman. Try some joke.
Ok, I'll try...

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
John 5:24
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.


“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow




St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
User avatar
Philip
Site Owner
Posts: 9405
Joined: Mon Dec 28, 2009 7:45 pm
Christian: Yes
Sex: Male
Creation Position: Day-Age
Location: Betwixt the Sea and the Mountains

Re: Prayers please

Post by Philip »

Ok, I'll try...

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
You need to try HARDER! Most women will see that as an inappropriate, sexist joke. Or maybe you just need new material.
User avatar
FlawedIntellect
Established Member
Posts: 171
Joined: Mon May 21, 2012 10:48 pm
Christian: Yes
Sex: Male
Creation Position: Day-Age
Contact:

Re: Prayers please

Post by FlawedIntellect »

Much of Rick's sexist humor tends to be rather cringe-worthy. Should we pray instead that he stops making jokes? Or should we pray that he develops an actual sense of humor?

Because his jokes are just terrible!
User avatar
RickD
Make me a Sammich Member
Posts: 22063
Joined: Thu Jan 14, 2010 7:59 am
Christian: Yes
Sex: Male
Creation Position: Day-Age
Location: Kitchen

Re: Prayers please

Post by RickD »

Philip wrote:
Ok, I'll try...

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
You need to try HARDER! Most women will see that as an inappropriate, sexist joke. Or maybe you just need new material.
Sorry Philip. How about this one...

Q: A man driving a car hits a woman. Whose fault is it?


A: The man's fault. Why was he driving in the kitchen?
John 5:24
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.


“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow




St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
User avatar
RickD
Make me a Sammich Member
Posts: 22063
Joined: Thu Jan 14, 2010 7:59 am
Christian: Yes
Sex: Male
Creation Position: Day-Age
Location: Kitchen

Re: Prayers please

Post by RickD »

FlawedIntellect wrote:Much of Rick's sexist humor tends to be rather cringe-worthy. Should we pray instead that he stops making jokes? Or should we pray that he develops an actual sense of humor?

Because his jokes are just terrible!
See what I mean? FlawedIntellect is a woman, and she doesn't like my jokes!
John 5:24
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.


“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow




St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
User avatar
RickD
Make me a Sammich Member
Posts: 22063
Joined: Thu Jan 14, 2010 7:59 am
Christian: Yes
Sex: Male
Creation Position: Day-Age
Location: Kitchen

Re: Prayers please

Post by RickD »

Don't like those?

How about this one?

Q:What do you call a man that lost all of his intelligence?

A: A widower.
John 5:24
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.


“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow




St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
User avatar
Philip
Site Owner
Posts: 9405
Joined: Mon Dec 28, 2009 7:45 pm
Christian: Yes
Sex: Male
Creation Position: Day-Age
Location: Betwixt the Sea and the Mountains

Re: Prayers please

Post by Philip »

GGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! y:o) :scratchinghead:

Right when you think he's told his worse joke - he tops himself. :shock:

Of course, my wife always accuses me of having an inappropriate sense of humor - to which I'm fond of responding, "Sweetheart, at least I HAVE a sense of humor." Which is always met by a look of sympathy or disgust. I'm guessing Rick's wife must have a much better - or fairly bizarre - sense of humor. Else she wouldn't have said, "I do!" Can one get a divorce by claiming insanity prior to the wedding - I wonder. y:-?
User avatar
Furstentum Liechtenstein
Ultimate Member
Posts: 3295
Joined: Mon May 08, 2006 6:55 pm
Christian: Yes
Sex: It's Complicated
Creation Position: Young-Earth Creationist
Location: Lower Canuckistan

Re: Prayers please

Post by Furstentum Liechtenstein »

Philip wrote:I'm guessing Rick's wife must have a much better - or fairly bizarre - sense of humor. Else she wouldn't have said, "I do!"
Rick's wife is a mail-order bride from Canada. She ain't divorcing anytime soon. Even living with Rick is better than living in Canada.

FL :D
Hold everything lightly. If you don't, it will hurt when God pries your fingers loose as He takes it from you. -Corrie Ten Boom

+ + +

If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.

+ + +
User avatar
RickD
Make me a Sammich Member
Posts: 22063
Joined: Thu Jan 14, 2010 7:59 am
Christian: Yes
Sex: Male
Creation Position: Day-Age
Location: Kitchen

Re: Prayers please

Post by RickD »

Wow, tough crowd!

Hana, help me! You're my only hope! y[-o<
John 5:24
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.


“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow




St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
User avatar
RickD
Make me a Sammich Member
Posts: 22063
Joined: Thu Jan 14, 2010 7:59 am
Christian: Yes
Sex: Male
Creation Position: Day-Age
Location: Kitchen

Re: Prayers please

Post by RickD »

Furstentum Liechtenstein wrote:
Philip wrote:I'm guessing Rick's wife must have a much better - or fairly bizarre - sense of humor. Else she wouldn't have said, "I do!"
Rick's wife is a mail-order bride from Canada. She ain't divorcing anytime soon. Even living with Rick is better than living in Canada.

FL :D
Gee, thanks. y[-(
And living in Canada is slightly better than living in a forced labor camp in Siberia.

I'm even more depressed now! Why don't you just kill my dog!
John 5:24
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.


“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow




St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
User avatar
melanie
Esteemed Senior Member
Posts: 1417
Joined: Sat May 10, 2014 3:18 am
Christian: Yes
Sex: Female

Re: Prayers please

Post by melanie »

RickD wrote:Hi all,

I need you to keep me in your prayers. I feel like I'm losing my mojo with the women. Usually when I post a joke here, or make a joke in "real life", the women really enjoy my sense of humor. I don't know what to do. I posted, using my usual biting sarcasm, and Melanie didn't find my joke funny. See?
http://discussions.godandscience.org/vi ... ng#p155762

I'm short, ugly, poor, and now my jokes don't make women laugh. What can I do? If my sense of humor is failing me, I have nothing left in life! I am a poor, poor soul!

Please pray for my mojo to return.
You will be in my prayers Rick
We must not and can not have you losing your mojo with the women ;) and your being far to hard on yourself, ugly, short, poor and mildly, ocassionally, slighty amusing is understated and not nearly appreciated enough :P
I read back your response and guess what I laughed y>:D< Think I needed to take the bit too serious pole outta my derriere.
Your other material may need a little work but gotta give you props for trying.

I have a joke for you, not my best material but my other's may be a little inappropriate

How did pinocchio know he was made of wood?
His hand caught fire
User avatar
RickD
Make me a Sammich Member
Posts: 22063
Joined: Thu Jan 14, 2010 7:59 am
Christian: Yes
Sex: Male
Creation Position: Day-Age
Location: Kitchen

Re: Prayers please

Post by RickD »

melanie wrote:
RickD wrote:Hi all,

I need you to keep me in your prayers. I feel like I'm losing my mojo with the women. Usually when I post a joke here, or make a joke in "real life", the women really enjoy my sense of humor. I don't know what to do. I posted, using my usual biting sarcasm, and Melanie didn't find my joke funny. See?
http://discussions.godandscience.org/vi ... ng#p155762

I'm short, ugly, poor, and now my jokes don't make women laugh. What can I do? If my sense of humor is failing me, I have nothing left in life! I am a poor, poor soul!

Please pray for my mojo to return.
You will be in my prayers Rick
We must not and can not have you losing your mojo with the women ;) and your being far to hard on yourself, ugly, short, poor and mildly, ocassionally, slighty amusing is understated and not nearly appreciated enough :P
I read back your response and guess what I laughed y>:D< Think I needed to take the bit too serious pole outta my derriere.
Your other material may need a little work but gotta give you props for trying.

I have a joke for you, not my best material but my other's may be a little inappropriate

How did pinocchio know he was made of wood?
His hand caught fire
Thank you Melanie. y>:D<

And as for your joke, have you ever heard the saying, "some things are better left unsaid"?
:mrgreen:
John 5:24
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.


“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow




St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
Post Reply