I stepped away and honestly....

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Dallas
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I stepped away and honestly....

#1

Post by Dallas » Sat Sep 22, 2012 1:40 am

Like the title says, I stepped away. To be honest, I really don't want to come back.

I remember someone saying when I was in Church that 80% (some number around there) wouldn't attend church after High School. I believe that it is true, but I never knew it would happen to me. I've been graduated from High School for 4 months now and have only been to a church twice. The reasons are I moved into my sisters house and my sleeping schedule from moving in with her has switched. I used to wake up at 6:00 a.m. and went to bed around 11:00 p.m. Now, I wake up at 2:00 p.m. and go to bed at 5:00 a.m. That's a major reason why I haven't gone to church that much. Honestly, that's really not an excuse. The biggest reason is I do not want to come back. I know it's wrong, really wrong. But, I just have no desire to come back. I really want to in my heart, but not in my mind. I've been doing things I would never think about doing when I was in school, but once it was done I started to do things I'm going to regret later on in life.

I think the biggest reason I don't want to come back is I feel as if I was really immature when I put God in my life. I look back at my life while I put Christ first and I see all these moments in which I should have acted way more mature then I did. And i'm afraid if I go back I am going to be that same person. Which I don't want back in my life. By the way, I'm still 17 I'm turning 18 here in 7 days.

Is it the freedom I have now since I don't live with my parents to tell me what to do? Is it I can do things now that I couldn't do then and that's leading me to this rebellion? My stomach is getting sick from typing this right now...Anywho, some reasons why you think I left would be nice. And for reference, I'm a hypocrite. I did things I would say I would never do... I remember reading a tweet and it said something along the lines "Most people will turn out the way they said they would never be." And that's how I feel...
Vigilate super me Dominus

Down the road i'll hit many bumps, but as long as you're driving Lord, i'll be fine.

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Re: I stepped away and honestly....

#2

Post by neo-x » Sat Sep 22, 2012 2:30 am

what is really bothering you, your hypocrisy? shame, guilt over something. A sense of failure to not live up to your expectations?

Di you make a promise to yourself, you will never sin, you will never have doubt? If that is the case I simply think you made some wrong promises. The freedom you have now, is only momentary and may be with you as long as you live, but you won't always feel down, you will change, we all do. Do you think you have a reason to not love God, what has he ever done to you that is worth this rebellion? If anything, he died for you that you may live, that you may have freedom and that you be saved. We all are hypocrites in one sense because we all sin but we are not hypocrites if we admit that we were wrong. That my friend is not hypocrisy.

The moment you realize that God loves you even when you are wrong, you are liberated in Christ. Church can be distracting but leave that for now if that doesn't suit you. I haven't been going to church for 2 years now. I do not regret it all. I have doubts and weaknesses and I sin often. But that is the beauty of the cross, he died so that we could be saved, he loved us when we were dead in sin and he loves us even when we mess up.

If you feel stupid over your spiritual relationship with God, I think it is a good time to re-establish your faith, but with wisdom, and truth. Not with promises that you can not keep but with humility and trust. In the end it doesn't matter how good you performed but how God loved you and gave you everlasting life. That is a gift for you. Cherish it.

In the end be honest with you, you do not have to turn to God because you owe him. You turn to God because it is a life changing decision. You dont have to oblige God. Sometimes we think we are too sinful and the idea that God loves us overwhelms us and we try to run because we are ashamed. I had that feeling once. It is not a very good feeling but yes, if you do not want to be dogmatic, denominational, YEC, OEC, Catholic or whatever, just be a child of God, that is something you can not change. God will always be your father, and he will always love you.

2 Tim 2:13
if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself.

I would encourage you to examine your faith, do not run from it. May be you placed your faith on things that were bound to change and not on Christ's love and understanding of it. What you are feeling is not hypocrisy it is the thirst to know God when you have ran out of your own resources. Do not let this misguide you. Remember, the Bible says in Romans, where sin abounded, grace did much more abound.

If you need any kind of help in solving issues you are having, feel free to pm me.
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Re: I stepped away and honestly....

#3

Post by Canuckster1127 » Sat Sep 22, 2012 9:13 am

If you haven't read it yet, I recommend you read "So You Don't Want to go to Church Anymore."

I think you'll find it helpful.
Dogmatism is the comfortable intellectual framework of self-righteousness. Self-righteousness is more decadent than the worst sexual sin. ~ Dan Allender

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Dallas
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Re: I stepped away and honestly....

#4

Post by Dallas » Wed Sep 26, 2012 2:19 am

The biggest reason I'm having trouble coming back is I do not want to be immature again. Like I said, I see so many things that I should of done differently, but was immature about this situation. I want to grow knowing that each day I become wiser and smarter, not just standing still. And I come to think of it, I didn't feel like that when I put Christ first. It may just be my Sin telling me that, or me being blind to the truth at hand. All I know is I don't want to go back...
Vigilate super me Dominus

Down the road i'll hit many bumps, but as long as you're driving Lord, i'll be fine.

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Re: I stepped away and honestly....

#5

Post by RickD » Wed Sep 26, 2012 5:12 am

Dallas, I'm 43, and there's probably not a day that goes by that I'm reminded of something stupid and immature I did when I was younger. I'm literally disgusted at some of the things I did when I was your age. And, my maturity as a Christian, so to speak, was just as bad too. I can't believe some of the things I said, and the way I acted as a Christian at that age. Sometimes I just shake my head when I remember my younger self. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's not God in your life that's causing what you see as immaturity. It's your sinful nature, and your age. At least that's what it was with me. Fwiw.
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Re: I stepped away and honestly....

#6

Post by PaulSacramento » Wed Sep 26, 2012 5:40 am

I don't like going to church.
Never did.
There was a time that I felt good going but as I studied more about the various doctrines and found some that I didn't agree with, I felt bad going to church and listening to what I didn't agree with.
I started looking around and seeing all that I thought was wrong with organized religion and realized that, at that point, I was going because I felt I "had" to and not because I wanted to.
I never liked the "pomp and circumstance" of church, the "stuffiness" and lack of "love" between the priest and the "audience".
It was robotic at times...

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Re: I stepped away and honestly....

#7

Post by narnia4 » Wed Sep 26, 2012 7:57 pm

Unlike many here, I'm fairly big on church. Of course the oft-made and oft-forgotten point is that church is the body of Christ. So obviously when I hear people say that they "stepped away", well, its concerning.

I'm also big on the organized part of it. It doesn't have to be "official" or become a "member", if you're saved you're already a member. But we ought not to neglect meeting together. There are very rich benefits to corporate prayer, worship, singing, listening to a message, enjoying one another's company. Organized bodies have historically been a pretty good way of doing that, although problems have developed with every denomination out there. Then again, wherever there are people there are problems.
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Re: I stepped away and honestly....

#8

Post by Danieltwotwenty » Wed Sep 26, 2012 8:12 pm

I am a church attendant and I love the weekly service and other activities we run, we do a lot in and around our community which helps us bond as a congregation.

Maybe you just haven't found the people who fit you, it took me at least 4 churches before I decided to plant some roots.

Being a Christian all by yourself is not much fun and can be very damaging spiritually, I suggest you shop around, get out there and meet new people.

Dan
1Tim1:15-17
Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever.Amen.

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