I need help. (female problems.)

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Re: I need help. (female problems.)

#16

Post by CeT-To » Mon Feb 27, 2012 6:40 am

Reactionary wrote:
Dallas wrote:4. Sadly twice a week. That's why i'm going to start looking for a Job, just in case :P .
5. My age. 17.
She already knows you, you don't need excuses to get to her. Girls like it when a guy is direct and decisive. Ask her out.
I don't think that's always the case tbh lately i've heard stories from some of my christian friends who are girls who randomly got asked out by a guy they've talked not many times or not friends - they find it really awkward and not good.
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Re: I need help. (female problems.)

#17

Post by Dallas » Mon Feb 27, 2012 8:26 am

CeT-To wrote:
Reactionary wrote:
Dallas wrote:4. Sadly twice a week. That's why i'm going to start looking for a Job, just in case :P .
5. My age. 17.
She already knows you, you don't need excuses to get to her. Girls like it when a guy is direct and decisive. Ask her out.
I don't think that's always the case tbh lately i've heard stories from some of my christian friends who are girls who randomly got asked out by a guy they've talked not many times or not friends - they find it really awkward and not good.
Quite honestly I would find that awkward too. :P That's why I want to talk to her more. The only problem I'm having is, she isn't budging. I ask her something and she gives me a one word answer.
Vigilate super me Dominus

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Re: I need help. (female problems.)

#18

Post by Byblos » Mon Feb 27, 2012 8:53 am

Dallas wrote:Quite honestly I would find that awkward too. :P That's why I want to talk to her more. The only problem I'm having is, she isn't budging. I ask her something and she gives me a one word answer.
She's not ready. Back off and just be her friend right now.
Let us proclaim the mystery of our faith: Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ will come again.

Lord I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.

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Re: I need help. (female problems.)

#19

Post by Dallas » Mon Feb 27, 2012 8:59 am

Byblos wrote:
Dallas wrote:Quite honestly I would find that awkward too. :P That's why I want to talk to her more. The only problem I'm having is, she isn't budging. I ask her something and she gives me a one word answer.
She's not ready. Back off and just be her friend right now.
I know. But... We just started talking last night, so, who knows? The only reason why we started talking is because my Youth Pastor invited me to his Dogs birthday party. (I know it's dumb, but they do it :P). At first I didn't say anything, but as time went on I opened up, got out of the shell I was in, and started talking. Now it wasn't that long of a talk, more of conversations amongst 2-4 people at a time. But Nonetheless, I finally got to talk to her. Baby steps, Baby steps. Then we talked on Facebook for about 10 minutes then stop! No reply :P
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Down the road i'll hit many bumps, but as long as you're driving Lord, i'll be fine.

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Re: I need help. (female problems.)

#20

Post by Byblos » Mon Feb 27, 2012 9:33 am

Dallas wrote:
Byblos wrote:
Dallas wrote:Quite honestly I would find that awkward too. :P That's why I want to talk to her more. The only problem I'm having is, she isn't budging. I ask her something and she gives me a one word answer.
She's not ready. Back off and just be her friend right now.
I know. But... We just started talking last night, so, who knows? The only reason why we started talking is because my Youth Pastor invited me to his Dogs birthday party. (I know it's dumb, but they do it :P). At first I didn't say anything, but as time went on I opened up, got out of the shell I was in, and started talking. Now it wasn't that long of a talk, more of conversations amongst 2-4 people at a time. But Nonetheless, I finally got to talk to her. Baby steps, Baby steps. Then we talked on Facebook for about 10 minutes then stop! No reply :P
Good. Take it easy and don't rush things, just let her feel comfortable being your friend first then let things develop on their own from there on.
Let us proclaim the mystery of our faith: Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ will come again.

Lord I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.

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Re: I need help. (female problems.)

#21

Post by Dallas » Mon Feb 27, 2012 10:12 am

Byblos wrote:
Good. Take it easy and don't rush things, just let her feel comfortable being your friend first then let things develop on their own from there on.
My only concern is, How do I know if i'm going too slow or too fast? That's the part I'm not getting.
Vigilate super me Dominus

Down the road i'll hit many bumps, but as long as you're driving Lord, i'll be fine.

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Re: I need help. (female problems.)

#22

Post by Reactionary » Mon Feb 27, 2012 10:14 am

Dallas wrote:I'm very passive (working on that). I usually just let people push me around, without any sort of movement after it. This I will not allow to get pushed around in. :P. I am very kin to pray for the things I want in a woman. I'm very specific when I pray about it. It turns out, from what I know about her as of yet, she meets those requirements. <3 . I do not have that high of a voice. For example: I talk loud enough to were "I" can hear it and not other people. It's quite annoying to repeat myself over and over. Trying to fix that. I'm kinda emotional about things. Almost woman like :(. Don't know if that needs fixed or not, you tell me? From what i'm told, I'm intelligent, I don't believe it. It's all stuff you learn in school. I'm a God Fearing man/boy. I wasn't that long ago, but i'm changing little by little. And it helps :P.
Soooo.... How am I? What should I improve on or work on. I'm assuming you are all Men. Help this boy out.
A few years can make a big difference if you work on yourself. When I was 17, I was also rather timid and unassertive. I feared standing up for my beliefs, thinking that someone might be offended by that. My "friends" from the high school kept telling me that I was a good, helpful colleague, while they were laughing at me behind my back. Then I realized that I had to make changes in my life if I wanted people to start taking me seriously. The change was gradual (I'm still under construction), and faith in God has helped me a lot. I've noticed that people respect me more the less I try to impress them, and the more I stand my ground, while also respecting their positions. I'm also emotional - that's not a disgrace, but the way you show that is important. Try to be level-headed and calm whenever you can, and don't let your emotions govern you (only influence you to a point), because reason is far more reliable.
CeT-To wrote:
Reactionary wrote:She already knows you, you don't need excuses to get to her. Girls like it when a guy is direct and decisive. Ask her out.
I don't think that's always the case tbh lately i've heard stories from some of my christian friends who are girls who randomly got asked out by a guy they've talked not many times or not friends - they find it really awkward and not good.
...until she goes out with one of them, who gets to become her boyfriend. :scratch: I'm not sure, Francesco (if I caught your name correctly :mrgreen: ). I've also had (Christian) girls as friends, and I noticed a discrepancy between what they say to friends, and how they actually act. I'm not saying that it's a general rule, but I have a feeling - again, I might be wrong - that you lose an amount of respect from a girl when she starts considering you just a friend.
Dallas wrote:Quite honestly I would find that awkward too. :P That's why I want to talk to her more. The only problem I'm having is, she isn't budging. I ask her something and she gives me a one word answer.
Dallas wrote:Then we talked on Facebook for about 10 minutes then stop! No reply :P
I agree that she obviously doesn't want anything more at this point. However, I get very annoyed when people suddenly log off while I chat with them - I mean, is it a problem to write something like 'gotta go, see you later'? y[-( Anyway, for now, you're left with the 'friendly' approach, as Byblos suggested.
"Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces." Matthew 7:6

"For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse." Romans 1:20

--Reactionary

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Re: I need help. (female problems.)

#23

Post by Dallas » Mon Feb 27, 2012 10:21 am

Reactionary wrote: I agree that she obviously doesn't want anything more at this point. However, I get very annoyed when people suddenly log off while I chat with them - I mean, is it a problem to write something like 'gotta go, see you later'? y[-( Anyway, for now, you're left with the 'friendly' approach, as Byblos suggested.
I'm not the only one? Oh, Thank goodness. So just a little story because it's kinda funny.
While we were at my Youth pastors house, before anyone was there, we were coming up with ideas for charades. It was for valentines day charades only, and every time we got stuck he would look at me smile and say "Come on lover boy!" It was wrong but funny. Meanwhile, his wife looks up and has a huge grin on her face. It just makes laugh on how much they actually care. They set it up anyway, so they care about this, just like I do :P
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Down the road i'll hit many bumps, but as long as you're driving Lord, i'll be fine.

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Re: I need help. (female problems.)

#24

Post by Reactionary » Mon Feb 27, 2012 10:29 am

Dallas wrote:I'm not the only one? Oh, Thank goodness. So just a little story because it's kinda funny.
While we were at my Youth pastors house, before anyone was there, we were coming up with ideas for charades. It was for valentines day charades only, and every time we got stuck he would look at me smile and say "Come on lover boy!" It was wrong but funny. Meanwhile, his wife looks up and has a huge grin on her face. It just makes laugh on how much they actually care. They set it up anyway, so they care about this, just like I do :P
So, I'm not the only one who's called you "lover boy"? :pound: Cool story, bro! Keep them coming. :thumbsup:
"Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces." Matthew 7:6

"For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse." Romans 1:20

--Reactionary

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Re: I need help. (female problems.)

#25

Post by Byblos » Mon Feb 27, 2012 10:33 am

Dallas wrote:
Byblos wrote:
Good. Take it easy and don't rush things, just let her feel comfortable being your friend first then let things develop on their own from there on.
My only concern is, How do I know if i'm going too slow or too fast? That's the part I'm not getting.
It is okay to make your intentions known but without putting any pressure on her, knowing she just ended a relationship. I would say something like this: "I just want to let you know that I am very interested in you and hope that you will feel the same way about me some day. But I do realize you may not be ready so no pressure. Either way, I hope we can remain friends".

This tells her you are interested, you're not sure she's interested or not (no assumptions) so she would have to let you know (instead of you guessing) and that you respect her space enough to allow her to make up her own mind, and most importantly, it tells her that you value her friendship above all else. No matter what her reaction is, you will not be left in the dark as to her intentions and you can only come away with her having more respect for you, if nothing else.
Let us proclaim the mystery of our faith: Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ will come again.

Lord I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.

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Re: I need help. (female problems.)

#26

Post by Dallas » Mon Feb 27, 2012 10:41 am

Byblos wrote:
It is okay to make your intentions known but without putting any pressure on her, knowing she just ended a relationship. I would say something like this: "I just want to let you know that I am very interested in you and hope that you will feel the same way about me some day. But I do realize you may not be ready so no pressure. Either way, I hope we can remain friends".

This tells her you are interested, you're not sure she's interested or not so she would have to let you know (instead of you guessing) and that you respect her space enough to allow her to make up her own mind, and most importantly, it tells her that you value her friendship above all else. No matter what her reaction is, you will not be left in the dark as to her intentions and you can only come away with her having more respect for you, if nothing else.
That makes me Nervous :(. And I think she might already know, but It's just speculation. I'll tell you why.

This past Friday, the boys went to a cabin, and the girls had a thing called "Bloom." So while I was at the cabin, I was very upset about his whole situation, and I talked to my Youth Pastor. So after about a 30 minute conversation (outside in the freezing cold by the way :P) he called his wife. He put her on the phone just to see how they were doing (How cute! I know right :P). And after they hung up they said something about the crush I had. I don't think they necessarily mentioned my name, from what i'm told, but they talked about it. So i'm thinking she already knows. And I don't want to ask. I'm a nervous little thing lol.
Vigilate super me Dominus

Down the road i'll hit many bumps, but as long as you're driving Lord, i'll be fine.

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Re: I need help. (female problems.)

#27

Post by Reactionary » Mon Feb 27, 2012 1:57 pm

Dallas wrote:This past Friday, the boys went to a cabin, and the girls had a thing called "Bloom."
What's "Bloom", and what's the deal with that cabin you guys go to? y:-?
Dallas wrote:So while I was at the cabin, I was very upset about his whole situation, and I talked to my Youth Pastor. So after about a 30 minute conversation (outside in the freezing cold by the way :P) he called his wife. He put her on the phone just to see how they were doing (How cute! I know right :P). And after they hung up they said something about the crush I had. I don't think they necessarily mentioned my name, from what i'm told, but they talked about it. So i'm thinking she already knows. And I don't want to ask. I'm a nervous little thing lol.
Having read everything you wrote about the topic, I have an impression that everyone around you is aware that you have a crush on that girl.
And that includes her as well.
If you're as nervous as you say, you probably tremble like a leaf while speaking to her in person. I'm not saying this in a disapproving manner, that's only my impression. Regardless of anything, enjoy the feeling, it's very profound.
"Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces." Matthew 7:6

"For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse." Romans 1:20

--Reactionary

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Re: I need help. (female problems.)

#28

Post by CeT-To » Mon Feb 27, 2012 3:07 pm

Reactionary wrote:
CeT-To wrote:
Reactionary wrote:She already knows you, you don't need excuses to get to her. Girls like it when a guy is direct and decisive. Ask her out.
I don't think that's always the case tbh lately i've heard stories from some of my christian friends who are girls who randomly got asked out by a guy they've talked not many times or not friends - they find it really awkward and not good.
...until she goes out with one of them, who gets to become her boyfriend. :scratch: I'm not sure, Francesco (if I caught your name correctly :mrgreen: ). I've also had (Christian) girls as friends, and I noticed a discrepancy between what they say to friends, and how they actually act. I'm not saying that it's a general rule, but I have a feeling - again, I might be wrong - that you lose an amount of respect from a girl when she starts considering you just a friend.
LOL that's why you always have that element of mystery when being friends with them ;)

Yeah you did spell my name right - few have the gift in this anglo world. ( net even that hard 8-}2 )

Nah, but in this case my friend kept asking me for advice and always kept me up to date with new stuff that's happened and her thoughts on what to do ( in this case how to let him down gently).
But joy and happiness in you to all who seek you! Let them ceaselessly cry,"Great is Yahweh" who love your saving power. Psalm 40:16

I Praise you Yahweh, my Lord, my God!!!!!

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Re: I need help. (female problems.)

#29

Post by tunde1992 » Mon Feb 27, 2012 5:42 pm

start her off with some christian pick up lines .. such as If God made anything more pretty, I'm sure he'd keep it for himself or The word says "Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry" ... how about dinner? then give her a heartfelt poem.. liek.. ill just make up one from my mind right now.. "your are my love.. i cant stop thinking about you. i think God everyday for putting you on this earth with me.. i thank God that even though i dont deserve it i get to see your beautiful holy face that God has made specially ..everyday .i humble myself because i am blessed and one of my blessing is you..i feel like we were meant to be together and the bible does say"whatever God joins let no man take apart"
I LOVE YOU.. something like that(:
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
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Re: I need help. (female problems.)

#30

Post by Kurieuo » Mon Feb 27, 2012 8:53 pm

tunde1992 wrote:start her off with some christian pick up lines .. such as If God made anything more pretty, I'm sure he'd keep it for himself or The word says "Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry" ... how about dinner? then give her a heartfelt poem.. liek.. ill just make up one from my mind right now.. "your are my love.. i cant stop thinking about you. i think God everyday for putting you on this earth with me.. i thank God that even though i dont deserve it i get to see your beautiful holy face that God has made specially ..everyday .i humble myself because i am blessed and one of my blessing is you..i feel like we were meant to be together and the bible does say"whatever God joins let no man take apart"
I LOVE YOU.. something like that(:
:xxpuke: 8-}2

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