Struggling with lust

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FFC
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Struggling with lust

#1

Post by FFC » Thu Jul 06, 2006 2:34 pm

I'll be 48 years old Friday and single, and I have been struggling with lust since puberty. I've been a Christian for 28 years and it it's not getting any easier to fight the temptations. I give in to my flesh more times than not and I'm so tired of feeling like garbage. I know God forgives me but I'm to the point that I feel like I'm not getting some vital truth that I need to see. I read "Every man's battle" and it helped. Any suggestions? Advice? Encouragement? Help.
"Faith sees the invisible, believes the unbelievable, and receives the impossible." - Corrie Ten Boom

Act 9:6
And he trembling and astonished said, Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?

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Re: Struggling with lust

#2

Post by bizzt » Thu Jul 06, 2006 3:09 pm

FFC wrote:I'll be 48 years old Friday and single, and I have been struggling with lust since puberty. I've been a Christian for 28 years and it it's not getting any easier to fight the temptations. I give in to my flesh more times than not and I'm so tired of feeling like garbage. I know God forgives me but I'm to the point that I feel like I'm not getting some vital truth that I need to see. I read "Every man's battle" and it helped. Any suggestions? Advice? Encouragement? Help.
Oh man don't we all. It is the most common problem with Men walking a Christian Life. FFC I am married 28 and have struggled with this particular Disease quite often however it must be even more of a struggle for a Single Man. My wife however is indeed a great Help to me! Encouragement is you are not the only one that goes through this. It is a struggle for every Man. I find the more "Stuff" going on in my life the less Junk is taking place in my life. Get involved in Church Ministry and make the Works of the Lord more Prevalent in your life. It allows you to fill in the spots of boredom or Sin to something more intriguing, and more useful. I find I deny myself access as much as possible at home on the Internet. It allows me to focus on the more important things in my life.

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#3

Post by August » Thu Jul 06, 2006 3:34 pm

This may sound stupid, but whenever lust comes close I start to worship, singing or praying. That works for me....
Acts 17:24-25 (NIV)
"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. [25] And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else."

//www.omnipotentgrace.org
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Re: Struggling with lust

#4

Post by Byblos » Thu Jul 06, 2006 6:03 pm

Happy birthday FFC.

I'll be 43 on the 31st of this month, married for 15 (also on the 20th of this month). I don't think there's been a single day that I didn't lust after another woman. I am so lucky I have a wonderful wife who understands me and who doesn't have a jealous nature, otherwise I would've been divorced a long time ago (I tell her everything). Perhaps this will help, just by being open and talking about it. Is it any wonder we needed Jesus to save us from ourselves? Sometimes we just need to be reminded of that and trust the Holy Spirit to guide us.
Let us proclaim the mystery of our faith: Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ will come again.

Lord I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.

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#5

Post by Gman » Thu Jul 06, 2006 6:43 pm

Add me to the club also... I'm single and 41 and I still lust after women too. What makes it worse is all the stuff on the internet. It's like putting a steak in front of a lion.

I'm also a Veritas volunteer. Besides talking about it with other believers (which is the best start), the Veritas forum also has some good talks about it as well. Check this one out..

http://www.veritas.org/3.0_media/talks/54

They also have other great other topics, much of which I believe lines up with this website. We go from campus to campus spreading the word of God. That too might be healing for you to do to...

Here's more from the Veritas Forum:

http://www.veritas.org/3.0_media/talks/

All the best,

Gman

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#6

Post by FFC » Thu Jul 06, 2006 7:21 pm

Thanks, guys, just hearing that I'm not alone is comforting. Your honesty is very encouraging. This is one of those things that most women don't get. some do but not the majority of them. My girlfriend is very understanding, she was addicted to porn before she got saved, but I'm still reluctant to go into much detail as to what goes on in mind.

It seems like the more I pray for God to deliver me from this lust the more opportunities arise to draw me in. Don't get me wrong, I totally blame myself. Nobody is forcing me to do anything. I go to a big church and the dress is pretty casual and it doesn't take much to draw my attention. What happened to the days of modest apparel? :oops:
"Faith sees the invisible, believes the unbelievable, and receives the impossible." - Corrie Ten Boom

Act 9:6
And he trembling and astonished said, Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?

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The Mall

#7

Post by bluesman » Fri Jul 07, 2006 12:47 am

Just stay clear of the malls. The dress of women now days !
With lo-rider jean, belly-showing low cut shirts, with tatoos and all.
and thats the mothers and the daughters wear even less.

Usually my lust last but a few second and then turns into concern to where the morals of young and not so young girls is going.

I wouldn't support dressing like Islamic women, but I think this world could learn from the movie "Pretty Woman".


Michael
Thomas
'

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#8

Post by Canuckster1127 » Fri Jul 07, 2006 6:14 am

All,

Put me in this category as well. I've wrestled with this all my life as well and well I know the dynamics are different when you are single than when you are married, it is still a struggle for married men as well.

I've found "Everyman's Battle" to be very helpful and practical material.

Just reading material isn't enough. What works for me is accountibility to someone else. I have a prayer partner whom I can call when this or anything else is an issue. Confessing the temptation is usually enough to dispel it. Tempation leads to sin when it remains private and I try to defeat it in my own strength.

The way to defeat lust, for me, is to drag it out into the light. When I do that, it loses much of its power.

Bart
Dogmatism is the comfortable intellectual framework of self-righteousness. Self-righteousness is more decadent than the worst sexual sin. ~ Dan Allender

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#9

Post by bizzt » Fri Jul 07, 2006 6:57 am

Canuckster1127 wrote:All,

Put me in this category as well. I've wrestled with this all my life as well and well I know the dynamics are different when you are single than when you are married, it is still a struggle for married men as well.

I've found "Everyman's Battle" to be very helpful and practical material.

Just reading material isn't enough. What works for me is accountibility to someone else. I have a prayer partner whom I can call when this or anything else is an issue. Confessing the temptation is usually enough to dispel it. Tempation leads to sin when it remains private and I try to defeat it in my own strength.

The way to defeat lust, for me, is to drag it out into the light. When I do that, it loses much of its power.

Bart
Amen Bart... I feel the need to get a prayer partner myself. Byblos do you go to a Confessional? I find that is a great benefit that the Catholic Church Provides (not that I care for them to say your Sins have been Forgiven) but nonetheless bringing your Sin into the Light is Certainly a good way of Dispelling it!

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#10

Post by Byblos » Fri Jul 07, 2006 7:19 am

bizzt wrote:
Canuckster1127 wrote:All,

Put me in this category as well. I've wrestled with this all my life as well and well I know the dynamics are different when you are single than when you are married, it is still a struggle for married men as well.

I've found "Everyman's Battle" to be very helpful and practical material.

Just reading material isn't enough. What works for me is accountibility to someone else. I have a prayer partner whom I can call when this or anything else is an issue. Confessing the temptation is usually enough to dispel it. Tempation leads to sin when it remains private and I try to defeat it in my own strength.

The way to defeat lust, for me, is to drag it out into the light. When I do that, it loses much of its power.

Bart

Amen Bart... I feel the need to get a prayer partner myself. Byblos do you go to a Confessional? I find that is a great benefit that the Catholic Church Provides (not that I care for them to say your Sins have been Forgiven) but nonetheless bringing your Sin into the Light is Certainly a good way of Dispelling it!


I believe that's one of the primary reasons for confession. If a sin is confessed out loud and to another human being, it has a more potent effect on the soul. But to answer your question Bizzt, I haven't see a confessional in 2 decades (perhaps this is mine). I'm one of those independent catholics that are privileged with a direct channel to Christ :wink:. On a more serious note, a prayer partner is an excellent idea.

Hey, guys, I think FFC started something very profound here. Is this an indication of something more pervasive among Christian men (and possibly women as well)? I think it is but it gets buried for fear of being embarrassed or ostracized. We need to explore this further.
Let us proclaim the mystery of our faith: Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ will come again.

Lord I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.

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#11

Post by Canuckster1127 » Fri Jul 07, 2006 8:04 am

This is a huge issue in our society and in the Church.

The pornography business in the US exceeds the revenue of professional football, basketball, baseball and hockey ..... COMBINED

Unfortunately, until fairly recently, most churches have chosen to ignore the issue from the pulpit and in the support and teaching arms of the church.

The advent of the internet has removed the stigma of having to stand in line to purchase a magazine or go into a sleazy adult book store to buy an item. The internet is to lust, what crack cocaine has been to drug addiction.

Lust has been around since the fall. When individuals, much less the church as a whole, treat it as a dirty little secret, not to be mentioned in polite society, it in effect pours gasoline onto that little flame and gives rise to a raging inferno which has caught many, many people and is right now ruining lives, families, marriages etc.

For all of us it is a constant battle and temptation.

For some it is an addiction, used to medicate personal pain and insecurity in a similar way to how alcohol and food can be misused addictively.

Above all, lust is a sin that drags us into the gutter, kicks us in the stomach and groin repeatedly and then leaves us wounded, damaged in our relationships with others and God, and ultimately hating ourselves and our actions. The irony is that many then drag themselves out and go looking for more.

I have seen this as a pastor, in a church, that men (and women, though usually the dynamics are a bit different for them), wrestle with this continually and believe they are unique and dirty and so they resist looking for help or confessing their struggle, which of course, only empowers it more.

I have seen it as a District Worker that pastors wrestle with this issue and many have seen their ministries and marriages ruined because they feel the pressure even more that no one can know.

I recently spoke with a District Superintendent in my former denomination about this and he said to me, that they have had to adjust and streamline the discipline process within districts now to work with Pastors while remaining in ministry because there are just too many to empty that many pulpits. Further, they are working to encourage pastors who wrestle with this to come forward voluntarily for help and restoration.

THIS IS ONE OF THE GREATEST THREATS WITHIN OUR FAMILIES, AND CHURCHES AND WE ARE JUST BEGINNING TO TAKE IT SERIOUSLY AND ADDRESS IT. MEANWHILE, THE PORN AND SEX INDUSTRY IS BLAZING AWAY AND MANY INSIDE AND OUTSIDE THE CHURCH ARE CRYING FOR HELP NOT KNOWING WHERE TO TURN.

Anyone for whom this strikes a chord and would like to privately discuss how they can begin to face and deal with this is welcome to private message me and I will listen and give you what input I can and point you to practical resources that can help you with this.

Bart
Dogmatism is the comfortable intellectual framework of self-righteousness. Self-righteousness is more decadent than the worst sexual sin. ~ Dan Allender

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#12

Post by Canuckster1127 » Fri Jul 07, 2006 8:37 am

I'm putting up a link to an article on the main page that relates to this topic.

http://www.godandscience.org/general/in ... ilter.html

Internet Filtering Software - Content Protect

by Rich Deem

Introduction Being a Christian, I have always been concerned about the Internet in our home. We have three sons who are involved in Internet searches for their school projects and enjoy Internet games in their spare time. So, since they first began to use the computer, we have used content filtering software to block inappropriate content from entering our home. Some of these programs were free, but these are now unavailable. So, last year, I went shopping for a good Internet content filtering program. The best I have found (and the one I now use) is Content Protect.

Features The features I really like include settings for each person. Both my wife and I are "administrators", although she doesn't administer any of the accounts. However, only an administrator can override a blocked site under standard settings. Although we don't have sites blocked very often by the software, certain issues (e.g., same sex marriage) do get blocked, and only the administrator can override a blocked site. In addition to content filtering for pornography and adult content, settings can block gambling, drugs, illegal activity, chat, email, instant messaging, newsgroups, peer-to-peer, etc. Once you setup a user, you can duplicate the settings to create a new user. Each user can get his own username and password. Besides blocking objectionable content, Content Protect keeps tract of time online and sites visited for each user. In fact, Internet access can be restricted to certain hours or disabled altogether. Specific sites can be blocked or allowed on an individual basis.

When the price of DSL went below $15/month, I got rid of my dialup and installed a wireless network for our two home computers. The great thing about Content Protect was that installing it on the second computer was a snap. Just enter the registration number, administrator username and password, and the settings are automatically configured the same as the first computer. The program does much more than explained here. For more information, download the documentation.

Conclusion There are many Internet filtering software programs available. After using and testing many of these, I have chosen Content Protect from Content Watch. In addition to its numerous features, it is reasonably priced. Click below to get more information or to order.
Dogmatism is the comfortable intellectual framework of self-righteousness. Self-righteousness is more decadent than the worst sexual sin. ~ Dan Allender

//bartsbarometer.com/

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#13

Post by bizzt » Fri Jul 07, 2006 8:45 am

I work in the IT dept and use Norton products. I find you as a Parent have to search Google and then Check the Pages out. From there you can ensure those pages missed can be manually Blocked. My friends use a different system. Every Page is logged on the Network. It then is reviewed Monthly so you are held accountable for the pages you surf. If the Internet is being really troublesome then just stop yourself from going on the Internet. For Example I only surf at work. That way I know I will not go on to those sites. Another reason why I am only on Monday to Friday 8-5 :wink:. Be accountable for your actions.

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#14

Post by bizzt » Fri Jul 07, 2006 8:58 am


FFC
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#15

Post by FFC » Fri Jul 07, 2006 9:37 am

For me porn is not a part of it. I don't read the magazines, look at it (intentionally) on line, or watch the movies. I pray to God that He gives me the grace to never start that.

My problem is that I have a vivid sexual imagination. Maybe it's the artist in me, I don't know. I'm a visual learner as well. It's the real live females that I "observe" in my every day life that get me. whether it be at work, church, or just shopping at the grocery store. It's the realistically attainable ones that I come in contact with that really start the fire.

Of course these images stay with me and ultimately overcome me when I'm alone in my apartment late at night. I have known for a long time that I need an accountability partner but I have always been ashamed to bring my problem up. I've also feared that I would be branded a sinner, which I already know that I am.

Thanks for letting me share.
"Faith sees the invisible, believes the unbelievable, and receives the impossible." - Corrie Ten Boom

Act 9:6
And he trembling and astonished said, Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?

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