Storyteller wrote:I held off on responding, it feels right to respond now...
I have had experience of BDSM, very, very much so.
At the time, it was right for me. Or I thought so.
I think it was a way of "owning" being raped, of being in control.
I needed to submit, willingly rather than being forced to.
I liked being whipped. I enjoyed the pain. I was in control of it. It was my choice.
Now... I choose love, and respect.
I'm glad you posted about this. It shows that what we think may be something good at the time, is really something unhealthy when it's looked back on.
The more I allow God to guide me, the more I realise that it is all part of His plan, the more I realise none of this is accidental. There was a reason I enjoyed (or thought i did) being submissive. I saw it as giving myself up to someone. I know now that I should give everything up to God, even my "perversions" I am beginning to understand, really grasp, just how much He guides me.
Sex should be fun, loving, bonding, respectful.
I was 17, a virgin, when I was raped. It took me a long time to accept that it wasnt my fault, even longer to accept that it wasnt Gods. Everything I have endure, He endures, and then some.
I have cried out to God, cursed Him, raged, questioned but never once has he deserted me.
For years I have felt worthless, seeking out approval, confused lust with love. Thought that a man wanting my body equated love. Now I know sex is, or should be a physical expression of that love. If you love someone there should be no pain, or desire to hurt.
My interest in BDSM stemmed from my soul, my soul was hurting, I hadnt had positive examples.
By all means explore your sexuality, rejoice in the splendour of making love but there has to be respect, tenderness, love. Not domination. God created us to complement each other not dominate.