Struggling with my commitment/willingness

[Vash]

Hello all,

I'm 17 years old, and I started following God around New Year's time of this year. I shared the same beliefs as Jesus (from a moral standpoint), and had no problem surrendering myself to Him. I didn't become a Christian on New Year's Day, but that's when I started chasing Him.

However, these past few days I've been struggling with that surrendering.

I recently took on a leadership role at my Church, and we had our first meeting this morning and we talked about what Jesus wants out of leaders as opposed to the earthly view of what a leader should be. When we talked about that, I started wondering to myself if this is what I should be doing. I mean, I'm still a relatively new believer and I might be trying to spiritually grow up faster than I can handle. That's what I thought during the meeting.

I'm also in a bit of an uncomfortable position with my family. My parents are getting a divorce. They've filed for divorce and all that, but it isn't official yet. My dad lives with his mom down the street, and I live with my mom and older brother. The thing is, they're not officially divorced, however, my mom has a boyfriend and my dad has a girlfriend. They're both committing adultery. I'm not judging them - that's for God to do - but I am a bit uncomfortable considering I just recently became a Christian, and now I'm in the middle of this whole double-adultery thing.


I'm also behind in my school work. I'm going to be a senior in high school this year, but I'm so behind that I'm not sure if I'm going to graduate this year or not, especially with everything going on.

And I'm also selling my house. And it gets annoying with constantly having to leave my house for showings and all that. I know that's actually nothing, but with everything else going on, it adds up stress-wise.

There's other stuff too, but what I'm getting at here is just... I'm already very overwhelmed so soon after becoming a Christian, and it's getting to the point where I can't seem to have fun without thinking God wants me to be doing something else. This has caused my willingness to suffer, and my sinful habits are picking up again.

Isn't life still meant to be fun? Why is God overwhelming me so soon when He wants my availability more than my ability? Is it wrong of me to question him in this way? Would God hold it against me if I can't handle some of the stuff going on in my life?

Sorry for so many questions. Like I said I'm just overwhelmed by how suddenly this is all happening, especially the leadership thing, and need to get some stuff off my chest. Just looking for some help.

[Gman]

Hi Vash,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts... I'm sorry that you are going through some hard times right now. I know it feels that sometimes God gives us a bad deal or has left us out in the cold...

Well, I'm in my 40's now and I'm trying to think how best to put this... As far as struggling in our lives.. Well I'd like to think that as you grow more in Christ, that one's struggling would decrease, but in all honesty I would say that it always doesn't. Unfortunately, I feel that there will always be stress in our lives until Christ comes back to make it straight again. But that doesn't mean we can't strive for less stress in our lives. Does that sound reasonable?

By focusing on less stress, if you feel that you are being overwhelmed in something, perhaps it may be good to drop something that you are currently doing. Believe me, it's NOT worth it to pressure yourself to do more things if you are feeling overwhelmed. It's almost like adding more fuel to the fire and it really starts to show up on your body when you start getting older too... In fact I think all this pressure starts making you age at a faster pace.. Also spritually it will drain you too.

I believe that a lot of the stress we inherit today comes from our secular society where careers, good looks, educational backgrounds, material items, and money takes precedence over everything else in the world (like over God). And as the years pass, this ideology get's pushed harder and harder on the next generation.. And again I will stress it is NOT worth it.... I wish I could take back my younger years... I spent so much time worrying about things that didn't even amount to anything because they were always superceded by something else... I other words, I was simply chasing my tail.. And when you get older, you ask, why did I do that to myself? Anyways the point I'm trying to make here is that we will always be overwhelmed by something in our lives.. Something wacky is always going to come down the road that will catch us off guard. And sometimes, we have no control over it... However, once you understand this and see it in your own life, you will have peace in your life. Because you will realize it will always be something, messing with your mind... Know what I mean now?

Also it helps to realized that God may sometimes put obstacles in our lives because he want us to use that for our growth. Like jumping a hurdle... And when we get better at it, not only does it prove him more in our lives, but it sometimes makes life more fun too.. So we can turn a negative thing into a positive thing... Then you can really own it.. Sometimes people like to phrase their lives as bitter sweet. Why? Because sometimes we have to taste the bitter in order to appreciate the sweet..

Oh, and as for fun? Sure, God wants us to have fun, that is what makes life great... Also prayer is good because it takes the focus off ourselves and put's it back on God. Just give it all to him...

Anyways, you have chosen the wiser path in this world, and may God see you through it...

Hope this helps...

God bless,

G -

[Jorge S]

Hello all,
Sorry for so many questions. Like I said I'm just overwhelmed by how suddenly this is all happening, especially the leadership thing, and need to get some stuff off my chest. Just looking for some help.

Hi Vash,

I would rather be amazed if you did not feel that way with so much to cope with. It is normal and it is not your fault.

Think of the timing: God gave you Jesus just before or amidst your tribulations yet you have also been called into a position of leadership into His Church. Let me tell you something, my dear sister: you are being birthed into a new life. The Spirit is already dwelling in you (e.g. you want to do well in Church, you feel sad for the adultery of your parents, you fear to 'fail' God.)

You are about to discover things about yourself which were unknown to you (talents, determination, strength, discernment, productivity, etc.). One year of your new life with Jesus will be as ten without Him. He is updating, training and enabling you for His Glory. One day you will look back into this period of your life and thank God for everything He is doing right now.

Just remember something very important: you are not to rely on your own strength. Jesus WILL fulfil His promise on Peace in you as long as you let Him. He is in command and He is our strength. Submit it all to Him and you will conquer.

Blessings.