Goldstein Nail Company

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RickD
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Re: Goldstein Nail Company

#31

Post by RickD » Mon Nov 18, 2019 6:39 pm

Fliegender wrote:
Mon Nov 18, 2019 6:23 pm
President Trump is livid. He’s just fired yet another of his advisors. Netanyahu happens to be visiting the White House so Trump asks him, “Bibi, you have a lot of success, how do you find smart men to work for you in Israel?” “Easy” replies Netanyahu, “you test them by asking a riddle. Here, I’ll show you” as he picks up the phone and calls Reuven Rivlin, the President if Israel. “Mr Rivlin, answer this riddle please: your father has a son but he’s not your brother. Who is he?” Rivlin immediately answers, “He’s me.”

“Brilliant!” exclaims Trump. He immediately calls Mike Pence and asks him, “Mike, your father has a son but he isn’t your brother. Who is he?” Pence thinks about it and says, “I’ll have to get back to you with that information, Mr President.” As much as he tries, Pence can’t answer Trump’s question so he asks Obama for help. “Mr Obama, your father has a son but he isn’t your brother. Who is he?” Obama immediately answers, “That would be me.”

Pence calls Trump and says, “The answer to your question is Barack Obama!”

Trump yells into the phone, “No you idiot, it’s Reuven Rivlin!”
So, the moral of the story is that Trump and Pence are idiots, and Obama and Netanyahu are geniuses?
John 5:24
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.

Kenny wrote:
"You don’t need faith, logic, reason, proof, or anything else to be atheist, all you need to do is reject what someone told you."



St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony

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Fliegender
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Re: Goldstein Nail Company

#32

Post by Fliegender » Mon Nov 18, 2019 8:37 pm

99 bottles of beer on the wall wrote:
Mon Nov 18, 2019 6:39 pm
...

So, the moral of the story is that Trump and Pence are idiots, and Obama and Netanyahu are geniuses?
Nope. It’s a joke. All that boozing in your youth has affected you.

Abandon the demons’ drink, sinner!
“If you’re ugly, you’re ugly. Stop talking about ‘inner beauty’ because no one goes around with X-ray vision.”
-Robert Mugabe

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Fliegender
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Re: Goldstein Nail Company

#33

Post by Fliegender » Thu Nov 21, 2019 6:28 pm

Rabbi Rick gets on a plane and settles into his seat. He opens a Bible and begins to read. An atheist settles into the seat next to rabbi Rick and notices the open Bible. “Would you like to chat?” asks the atheist, “I noticed that you’re reading that fairy tale book about god...” “Sure,” says rabbi Rick, “but may I ask you a question first?” “Go ahead” says the atheist.

“Listen” says the rabbi, “a deer, a cow and a horse are all herbivores...” The atheist agrees; rabbi Rick continues, “they all eat grass yet the deer excretes pellets, the cow excretes flat blobs and the horse excretes clumps. So, my dear fellow passenger, why do you think that is?” The atheist thinks it over and says, “Well.... I really don’t know.” Rabbi Rick answers, “ You want to discuss God yet you don’t know sh!t.”
“If you’re ugly, you’re ugly. Stop talking about ‘inner beauty’ because no one goes around with X-ray vision.”
-Robert Mugabe

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Fliegender
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Re: Goldstein Nail Company

#34

Post by Fliegender » Fri Nov 22, 2019 6:08 pm

A very old skeleton is discovered in a field in Israel. The pathologist examines the skeleton as declares that the individual died of a sudden and massive heart attack about 3000 years ago. A panel of archaeological experts asks the pathologist, “How can you be so sure of the cause of death, Dr Rick?” Dr Rick answers, “Easy, the subject was holding a papyrus fragment on which could be read, ‘10,000 shekels on Goliath’.”
“If you’re ugly, you’re ugly. Stop talking about ‘inner beauty’ because no one goes around with X-ray vision.”
-Robert Mugabe

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Fliegender
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Re: Goldstein Nail Company

#35

Post by Fliegender » Fri Nov 29, 2019 6:00 pm

A smart orang-outan named Rick escapes from the Tel Aviv Zoo. He’s later found at a library reading the Bible and Darwin’s Origin of Species. Rick asks the wildlife officer sent to capture him, “Are you your brother’s keeper or the keeper of your brother??”
“If you’re ugly, you’re ugly. Stop talking about ‘inner beauty’ because no one goes around with X-ray vision.”
-Robert Mugabe

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