My Personal Issue.

Are you a sincere seeker who has questions about Christianity, or a Christian with doubts about your faith? Post them here to receive a thoughtful response.
ThePerverse
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My Personal Issue.

#1

Post by ThePerverse » Wed Apr 27, 2011 9:49 am

Hello everyone, i come here to seek help.
I have been "Christian" from the day i was born, both my parents and everyone i knew was one. My parents aren't strong christians, as they do believe in God and heaven and hell, they are very open about it. Recently, about two months ago, maybe three, not sure, I have started doubting God. Im not sure what triggered this doubt. Things got worst until i started viewing the world from the atheist point of view. I cried many times and i fell in DEEP depression, thinking of suiciding many times. I had constant anxiety and everything was dark and depressing. I recognized that without God i would not have a happy life, infact, without God i didnt want to live at all. Whats the point? If God doesn't exist, why would you even bother living, if in 70 years i would cease completly to exist, and i would not be able to remember my life experiences. It was a NIGHTMARE. In fact, life it self seemed a huge nightmare, filled with deluded people who believed in a false afterlife, and that would die and never exist again.. The thoughts were so disturbing i couldn't sleep, i loss hunger and will to go on, but i hoped someone could convert me.. i hoped i was recoverable. So i started researching arguments for the existence of God, and i got convinced some days, some days i'd fall to atheism again, and so again and again.. It seemed endless.. After a month of pure psychological agony and anxiety, the greatest girl I ever met walked into my life. I no longer even thought of the inexistence of God, as though She was a messiah. But things didn't work the way i hoped. She rejected me and i felt hopeless, but i was still in love, so i was miserable in a good way, as though God is love. Two weeks after i met her, i finally realized it's not meant to be, as swiftly as she walked in my life, she walked back out.. I felt devastated, and just 4 days ago started having atheist thoughts haunting me. I realized that the thing that is most disturbing is the possible absense of the afterlife. I prefer to be in the last level of hell then ceasing to exist completly. I couldnt go through life and seeing my family and everyone i care about die before my eyes and knowing i'll never see them again. So i decided to seek the consultation of the Ouija board, and if thats fake, anything that will give me proof of the afterlife. In good or bad, or Infernal. I aknowledge that i CANNOT live without the afterlife. This site has helped me have a hopefully non-temporary belief in God. But i still fear..

PS: also, a very disturbing fact is that atheism is rising at an incredible rate and that their very existence is highly DISTURBING and is trouble to my personal mental riot.

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Re: My Personal Issue.

#2

Post by Reactionary » Wed Apr 27, 2011 1:59 pm

I can understand your situation. Still, I'll leave the spiritual part of your problem to the more experienced members of this forum as they'll know how to address it better than I would. I'll tell you only this - you may have a mental problem such as OCD or anxiety disorder, or your problems may have a physiological cause, which could have at least emphasized them. A lack of certain vitamins or minerals (which isn't uncommon these days) can affect mental function, so certain worries or fears could become magnified to an unbearable, obsessive level. I'm not a doctor - I'm speaking from personal (unpleasant) experience - check if you have any other symptoms, plus many deficiencies can be traced via blood testing. You see, while you're in this condition, no argument will convince you. Even if it does, it will be only temporary - I believe that the problem lies within your mind, which magnifies the tiniest doubts and makes you think about them obsessively. I'd strongly advice you to seek professional help. Thinking about committing suicide isn't a joke - your mind, which is unstable at this moment, may lead you to doing something regrettable (getting involved with the occult, for instance). Think about it - I'm sure that a solution can and will be found, and you will be able to enjoy your life again.

Good luck,
"Reactionary"
"Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces." Matthew 7:6

"For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse." Romans 1:20

--Reactionary

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Re: My Personal Issue.

#3

Post by dorkmaster » Wed Apr 27, 2011 2:30 pm

Your problem is not too much different from the one I encountered last year. My parents are also "Christian" but are open. In fact, I am the only one who is even remotely interested in religion. Anyway, I must have lived under a rock because last year was the first time I'd really heard about atheism. I struggled with that after a good friend of mine said to eff God. I was shocked, but that's when the doubt hit. I was also sad and depressed for several months. But the thought that got me through it all, was how idiotic it seemed for atheists to argue so hard against religious people. Like you said, the deal with afterlife was a tough one, but I always tell atheists who try to start arguments " if I'm right, I'll be laughing at you from Saint Peter's gate, if you are right, ther won't be any I told you so's". I know this kinda sounds like rambling but I hope it helps. God bless

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Re: My Personal Issue.

#4

Post by jlay » Wed Apr 27, 2011 3:08 pm

First of all, welcome.
PS: also, a very disturbing fact is that atheism is rising at an incredible rate and that their very existence is highly DISTURBING and is trouble to my personal mental riot.
Don't worry, the New Kids on the Block were once platinum selling recording artists. People got over that. :D

Your concerns are very common. Particularly in homes where Christianity is little more than an inherited identity. Based on your testimony it sounds like you were raised not in a Christian home, but a nominally Christian home. I don't say that to attack your statement, only to point out somethings that will help you understand why you are experiencing doubt. Based on your statements you seem to hint at your own doubt about your parent's 'christianity.'
A Christian home is one that is devoted to the Lord, the teaching of His word, prayer, and possibly observing certain ordinances. A person growing up in a Christian home is going to witness others living in Christ. They are going to see the realities of Christ, and likely have many of these questions answered already. My daughter is 10, and it is very common for us to has discussion about this. It seems apparent that not much was provided unto you in the ways of answers or reasons to believe. So, I am very glad you are here.

The great news is that you can have your questions answered. You can deal with your doubt. It is important to understand that your fear of death, the unknown, fear of atheism being true, etc. are not arguments for Christianity. Something is either true or it is not. If atheism is true, then Richard Dawkins' (famous atheist) advice would be to, get over it. That's encouraging? y:-?

I think it is also important to understand that no one, and I repeat no one is a Christian from the day they are born. I don't care if you were the pastors son, an alter boy, or you cleaned the baptismal. Jesus said, "you must be BORN AGIAN." The famous evangelists DL Moody used to ask, "what are you going to do with this Jesus?" So, a good point to start may be to simpy answer the question, "what is a Christian?" In your own words, why don't you share with us your thoughts.

-Things like girlfriends can distract us from the ultimate questions. They may give us temporary happiness to assuage our worry about the eternal questions. But, as you have seen, this is fleeting. And the questions remain.

I look forward to getting to know you here, and helping you in any way I can. Blessings.
-“The Bible treated allegorically becomes putty in the hands of the exegete.” John Walvoord

"I'm not saying scientists don't overstate their results. They do. And it's understandable, too...If you spend years working toward a certain goal and make no progress, of course you are going to spin your results in a positive light." Ivellious

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Re: My Personal Issue.

#5

Post by FearlessLlearsy » Wed Apr 27, 2011 7:30 pm

I have no degree in Theology (yet) lol, but im sure other members who are more mature will help you (great people). If you happen to be here, then it is for a reason that only God knows why,

As Jlay stated, it is a GREAT start by asking yourself what is a Christian
Live a life with no FEAR, for the battle is already won. The Devil and his minions only cry in agonizing pain, realizing the victory is OURS.

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Re: My Personal Issue.

#6

Post by mandelduke » Wed Apr 27, 2011 9:39 pm

Once you start spending more time with God then worldly things you will not have doubt that God is there. I have had God do so many miracles in my life since I was a boy, you would think that I would never have doubt, but their were times in me life I doubted if God was real. Doubt, and making you feel unworthy is Satins best weapons against us. Are only defense is a close walk with our Lord.

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Re: My Personal Issue.

#7

Post by neo-x » Thu Apr 28, 2011 12:35 am

I am sure you will find all your answers, i did.

but to start let me say, Atheism is denial of God. It has nothing to do with science or logic. It is simply absence of belief. There is no way ever atheism will answer the questions your soul harbors. It will try to convince you that you have no soul.
PS: also, a very disturbing fact is that atheism is rising at an incredible rate and that their very existence is highly DISTURBING and is trouble to my personal mental riot.
You have to remind yourself that Godlessness is increasing because it is supposed to increase, as a matter of fact the bible says numerous times that in the future and end times Godlessness would rise. People who truly love God, throughout history have not been much, they were always in small numbers. That is a fact you can see for yourself. By the way atheists are still only 2-3 % percent of the entire globe, not a very convincing number if you ask me.

When you see Atheists bashing Christians and their arguments, that is not because we are wrong but because they do not believe it. It also at the very best only proves that the person doing the argument was not able to convince them, not that there is no God.

Do you realize what an atheist needs to believe that there is no God,----nothing, simple denial. there is so much evidence in support of God but they will reject it, because they choose to believe. Same is the case with Christians, you choose to believe. Our minds or our church may not be able to answer everything but still if you are looking for God, you need to be open, at the best be un-biased. take down the filter lens of atheism to view everything. Atheism sucks at giving answers to a lot of problems. as a matter of fact atheism doesn't have any answers, they simply don't ask the questions, they presume the answer before the weigh the argument. I call it ignoring the problem not solving it.

When I was an atheist I always used to say the usual cliché "If god made everything than who made god?" but when I was about to give my life to God, i realized that it was not my problem to know. I would have to trust God, trust in him that when he says, "I am alpha and omega" then he means he is the beginning and the end. And contrary to my logic I remembered that "The Just shall live by faith", then in Hebrews 11:6, "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."

If you wake up one morning and you find junk thrown in your backyard, even though you may not know who he/she really was who dumped it, doesn't make the idea true that the junk came all by itself. You would know for sure that there was someone. Lack of eye-witness doesn't make the argument true that there is no one. There has to be one.

Just sharing my thoughts, God bless you
It would be a blessing if they missed the cairns and got lost on the way back. Or if
the Thing on the ice got them tonight.

I could only turn and stare in horror at the chief surgeon.
Death by starvation is a terrible thing, Goodsir, continued Stanley.
And with that we went below to the flame-flickering Darkness of the lower deck
and to a cold almost the equal of the Dante-esque Ninth Circle Arctic Night
without.


//johnadavid.wordpress.com

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Re: My Personal Issue.

#8

Post by ThePerverse » Fri Apr 29, 2011 5:02 am

Wow.. I am truly amazed by the warm hearted welcomings im receiving by this extremely friendly community.

@Reactionary i just found out (yesterday) that the medicine Accutane has caused Depression, anxiety and "distortion of reality". The last effect is what, as soon as i found out, i blame for these atheist thoughts. Btw i found out because you got me to investigate. Thank you.

@dorkmaster yeah every atheist i know say eff God it instead of usual cuss words

@jlay You want me to define a Christian? Well, I think a christian is a person who believes in the Holy Bible, and worships The Lord and Jesus Christ.

@madelduke Yeah sometimes i think Satan is actually Forcing his thoughts into mine.. Almost like controlling my mind..

@neo-x I agree with you.. Atheism is false logic.. But i dont know why, the presense of atheists is almost shocking, and i realize i could not be friends with atheists, because they just lack the belief that we will all be saved in the end.. they believe that we must live for the moment, because when we die, we CEASE to exist! How can anyone live with this incredible sadness? Ugh.. America will be doomed when an atheist will become president.


God bless all of you

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Re: My Personal Issue.

#9

Post by neo-x » Fri Apr 29, 2011 5:27 am

@neo-x I agree with you.. Atheism is false logic.. But i dont know why, the presense of atheists is almost shocking, and i realize i could not be friends with atheists, because they just lack the belief that we will all be saved in the end.. they believe that we must live for the moment, because when we die, we CEASE to exist! How can anyone live with this incredible sadness? Ugh.. America will be doomed when an atheist will become president.
lol...You should read Vox Day's "The Irrational Atheist", Paulsacromento, here on the forum suggested it to me when I started my blog regarding atheism. I read the book and here is an excerpt from the book about an atheist becoming a president
Atheists often expres anger and bewilderment at the low esteem in which they are collectively held by the rest of the world. This is a matter of particular frustration for the New Atheists, as they lament the Gallup poll (a Newsweek poll from March 31, 2007, only 29 percent of the respondents said they were willing to vote for an atheist.) in which it was determined that Americans would rather vote for a toothless, illiterate, homosexual, Afro-Hispanic crack whore with a peg leg than a well-qualified atheist with executive hair.
and then on the next page
"While the atheist next door is likely to limit his rejection to the specific aspects that proscribe premarital fornication or gluttony and indulge himself in the sort of everyday moral failure to which even the most devout Christians are susceptible, history demonstrates that the ambitious atheist who seeks political power is significantly more likely to reject the moral proscription on things such as slaughtering large numbers of people who stand in the way of establishing a godless utopia. The peg-legged crack whore, on the other hand, only wants to shift agricultural subsidies from cereal crops to coca plants and poppies and install disco balls in the White House."
You should read the book though to understand its message in entirety.
It would be a blessing if they missed the cairns and got lost on the way back. Or if
the Thing on the ice got them tonight.

I could only turn and stare in horror at the chief surgeon.
Death by starvation is a terrible thing, Goodsir, continued Stanley.
And with that we went below to the flame-flickering Darkness of the lower deck
and to a cold almost the equal of the Dante-esque Ninth Circle Arctic Night
without.


//johnadavid.wordpress.com

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Re: My Personal Issue.

#10

Post by Reactionary » Fri Apr 29, 2011 9:25 am

ThePerverse wrote:@Reactionary i just found out (yesterday) that the medicine Accutane has caused Depression, anxiety and "distortion of reality". The last effect is what, as soon as i found out, i blame for these atheist thoughts. Btw i found out because you got me to investigate. Thank you.
You're welcome. :ebiggrin:

I had a hunch that was your problem, because I suffered from the same thing not long ago. It was another type of medicine, so it's interesting that they caused the same mess. I still struggle with bad thoughts and mood swings from time to time, I pray it will be over soon. I guess that what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

God bless you as well. :D
"Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces." Matthew 7:6

"For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse." Romans 1:20

--Reactionary

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Re: My Personal Issue.

#11

Post by PaulSacramento » Fri Apr 29, 2011 11:01 am

Atheisim suits some people, many people, very well.
They can take the stuff they like from religion ( certain morals for example) and forget the rest ( Accountability to God).
I think that many become atheist because of religion and not faith, some religions can be so damaging that when people leave them they want NOTHING to do with God ( whom they see as religion) and atheisim is the means to leave all the "delusion and [nonsense]" behind.
Thanks for the kind words Neo-x :)
Vox's book is quite excellent because, even if you don't agree with his views on religion, he shows how the atheist view is far more irrational.
Of course not every one agrees, LOL !

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Re: My Personal Issue.

#12

Post by ThePerverse » Fri Apr 29, 2011 11:15 am

@neo-x I heard of that book.. Ill order it soon from amazon or something

@reactionary yeah sometimes i think God means to test me. If not God himself, maybe an angel or a saint. Because if i ever get through this, my christian faith will be far superior and deeper than before i got into this mess.

@paulsacramento yeah i noticed that most atheists abandoned Theism because of stupid reasons.. superficial reasons, and they say God dosent exist cause we cant see him, or other Unreasonable things. In fact, The atheist phylosophy is unreasonable it self.

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Re: My Personal Issue.

#13

Post by PaulSacramento » Fri Apr 29, 2011 11:29 am

I wouldn't use the word "stupid", some atheist have very well thought out reasons why they don't believe in God and one must respect them even if we don't agree.

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Re: My Personal Issue.

#14

Post by mandelduke » Fri Apr 29, 2011 7:55 pm

ThePerverse wrote:Hello everyone, i come here to seek help.
I have been "Christian" from the day i was born, both my parents and everyone i knew was one. My parents aren't strong christians, as they do believe in God and heaven and hell, they are very open about it. Recently, about two months ago, maybe three, not sure, I have started doubting God. Im not sure what triggered this doubt. Things got worst until i started viewing the world from the atheist point of view. I cried many times and i fell in DEEP depression, thinking of suiciding many times. I had constant anxiety and everything was dark and depressing. I recognized that without God i would not have a happy life, infact, without God i didnt want to live at all. Whats the point? If God doesn't exist, why would you even bother living, if in 70 years i would cease completly to exist, and i would not be able to remember my life experiences. It was a NIGHTMARE. In fact, life it self seemed a huge nightmare, filled with deluded people who believed in a false afterlife, and that would die and never exist again.. The thoughts were so disturbing i couldn't sleep, i loss hunger and will to go on, but i hoped someone could convert me.. i hoped i was recoverable. So i started researching arguments for the existence of God, and i got convinced some days, some days i'd fall to atheism again, and so again and again.. It seemed endless.. After a month of pure psychological agony and anxiety, the greatest girl I ever met walked into my life. I no longer even thought of the inexistence of God, as though She was a messiah. But things didn't work the way i hoped. She rejected me and i felt hopeless, but i was still in love, so i was miserable in a good way, as though God is love. Two weeks after i met her, i finally realized it's not meant to be, as swiftly as she walked in my life, she walked back out.. I felt devastated, and just 4 days ago started having atheist thoughts haunting me. I realized that the thing that is most disturbing is the possible absense of the afterlife. I prefer to be in the last level of hell then ceasing to exist completly. I couldnt go through life and seeing my family and everyone i care about die before my eyes and knowing i'll never see them again. So i decided to seek the consultation of the Ouija board, and if thats fake, anything that will give me proof of the afterlife. In good or bad, or Infernal. I aknowledge that i CANNOT live without the afterlife. This site has helped me have a hopefully non-temporary belief in God. But i still fear..

PS: also, a very disturbing fact is that atheism is rising at an incredible rate and that their very existence is highly DISTURBING and is trouble to my personal mental riot.
1. Why would a Christen love to read atheistic material and listen to atheist lectures?

2. How can your faith be shattered, when you have no faith to begin with?

3. Why do you pray for God to give you faith, when it is written, “ faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ“..
Now let my tell you the answer, you have no relationship with God! I am not saying that you are not saved, you may have salvation, But you are not free. I have loved the Lord for as long as I remember, And I can remember 47 years. God has never ask me to do anything for him.
4. If your life is not centered around Jesus, what do you think your life is centered around? There is only two options life or death, good or evil, blessings or curses.

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Re: My Personal Issue.

#15

Post by ThePerverse » Mon May 02, 2011 6:01 am

mandelduke wrote:
ThePerverse wrote:Hello everyone, i come here to seek help.
I have been "Christian" from the day i was born, both my parents and everyone i knew was one. My parents aren't strong christians, as they do believe in God and heaven and hell, they are very open about it. Recently, about two months ago, maybe three, not sure, I have started doubting God. Im not sure what triggered this doubt. Things got worst until i started viewing the world from the atheist point of view. I cried many times and i fell in DEEP depression, thinking of suiciding many times. I had constant anxiety and everything was dark and depressing. I recognized that without God i would not have a happy life, infact, without God i didnt want to live at all. Whats the point? If God doesn't exist, why would you even bother living, if in 70 years i would cease completly to exist, and i would not be able to remember my life experiences. It was a NIGHTMARE. In fact, life it self seemed a huge nightmare, filled with deluded people who believed in a false afterlife, and that would die and never exist again.. The thoughts were so disturbing i couldn't sleep, i loss hunger and will to go on, but i hoped someone could convert me.. i hoped i was recoverable. So i started researching arguments for the existence of God, and i got convinced some days, some days i'd fall to atheism again, and so again and again.. It seemed endless.. After a month of pure psychological agony and anxiety, the greatest girl I ever met walked into my life. I no longer even thought of the inexistence of God, as though She was a messiah. But things didn't work the way i hoped. She rejected me and i felt hopeless, but i was still in love, so i was miserable in a good way, as though God is love. Two weeks after i met her, i finally realized it's not meant to be, as swiftly as she walked in my life, she walked back out.. I felt devastated, and just 4 days ago started having atheist thoughts haunting me. I realized that the thing that is most disturbing is the possible absense of the afterlife. I prefer to be in the last level of hell then ceasing to exist completly. I couldnt go through life and seeing my family and everyone i care about die before my eyes and knowing i'll never see them again. So i decided to seek the consultation of the Ouija board, and if thats fake, anything that will give me proof of the afterlife. In good or bad, or Infernal. I aknowledge that i CANNOT live without the afterlife. This site has helped me have a hopefully non-temporary belief in God. But i still fear..

PS: also, a very disturbing fact is that atheism is rising at an incredible rate and that their very existence is highly DISTURBING and is trouble to my personal mental riot.
1. Why would a Christen love to read atheistic material and listen to atheist lectures?

2. How can your faith be shattered, when you have no faith to begin with?

3. Why do you pray for God to give you faith, when it is written, “ faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ“..
Now let my tell you the answer, you have no relationship with God! I am not saying that you are not saved, you may have salvation, But you are not free. I have loved the Lord for as long as I remember, And I can remember 47 years. God has never ask me to do anything for him.
4. If your life is not centered around Jesus, what do you think your life is centered around? There is only two options life or death, good or evil, blessings or curses.

1. I didnt say i listen to atheistic lectures
2. And so ur saying i will remain in doubt for the rest of my therefore miserable life?

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