I need some prayers
Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2016 9:23 am
I don't think I've told anybody this yet but my mother died while her and I were on vacation earlier this year. I'm still very traumatized from it and it's a topic that I dream about nightly; it still haunts me. I had a psychological breakdown as this happened a few days before I started school again and I just had to put on a happy joyous face for all my relatives (and my dad) along with planning every aspect of her body's transport and burial. I just suppressed my grief for so long that it just exploded when combined with stress from school. She was a very devout Christian ( a methodist!) but that only gives me so much comfort. Indeed, i'm still very broken. I'll be doing an additional semester at W&M because I dropped some of my classes that I was failing and I've changed my major to math so I can avoid doing more than that.
So... along with this. I met this amazing -catholic- girl who I fell deeply in love with shortly after this. She brought so much joy into my life and really helped me recover mentally from all this; this relationship is now ending...in ugly fashion. I'm convinced that I ruined this; 6 months of a relationship down the drain.
I'm not really sure how to describe how i'm feeling. Before I met this person I'd have breakdowns in the middle of the night and I'd have to call my priest or some of my close friends to just to feel like somebody was still there; I felt so alone. I'm back to feeling like that.
I had an exceptionally close relationship to my mother. It's not an exaggeration to say she was my best friend on this earth. I think I replaced that lost love with a new kind of love and now that's gone...just like my mother. School is absolutely insane right now and my crumbling relationship, along with my re-found intense grief from my mothers death, is driving me near insane. I really need some prayers; i'm feeling alone and lost once again.
So... along with this. I met this amazing -catholic- girl who I fell deeply in love with shortly after this. She brought so much joy into my life and really helped me recover mentally from all this; this relationship is now ending...in ugly fashion. I'm convinced that I ruined this; 6 months of a relationship down the drain.
I'm not really sure how to describe how i'm feeling. Before I met this person I'd have breakdowns in the middle of the night and I'd have to call my priest or some of my close friends to just to feel like somebody was still there; I felt so alone. I'm back to feeling like that.
I had an exceptionally close relationship to my mother. It's not an exaggeration to say she was my best friend on this earth. I think I replaced that lost love with a new kind of love and now that's gone...just like my mother. School is absolutely insane right now and my crumbling relationship, along with my re-found intense grief from my mothers death, is driving me near insane. I really need some prayers; i'm feeling alone and lost once again.
