Philip wrote: Yes, to love someone is a choice. And if you love a person, you will also have strong feelings for them - if you don't, I'd say something is wrong.
Nicki: How do those two ideas fit together though? If you're choosing to love someone (i.e. being loving to them?) why do you need to have strong feelings for them?
Well, it's not an either/or thing - If you love someone, that is, you've made a choice that this is a person for whom you desire to a point that this person is exceptionally important to you, then some feelings and attraction will precede that, and ever stronger ones will begin to follow your decision to love them. If we are talking about male/female relationships, even with initial attraction and some early feelings, it doesn't mean one's brain can't make decisions. BTW, attraction is not all physical, and yet it's a powerful part of it. The questions are, what are one's motivations and are the choices good ones, in whom they've chosen to love. But you'll not love someone of the opposite sex and not also have strong feelings for them. And the stronger one's mental/heart commitment to someone, the stronger the feelings will be. And you grow stronger in these the longer you share a common bond and experiences.
Philip: And we were made to be attracted by the opposite sex. I can't imagine marrying someone I wasn't attracted to.
Nicki: So if you'd never met someone you were attracted to, who was suitable for you and also interested in you, would you have been happily single for the rest of your life?
Not necessarily - millions are very lonely and desiring a special relationship that never seems to show up. But one needs to have a confidence in themselves, as a child of God Who meets their TRUE needs, and a sense of not requiring another person to complete them - as if they must have another to to make them a content person.