Hey What's Up Everyone,
Confidence is something I worked on with myself a while back in my life. I didn't grow up naturally having it like many of friends. How many can relate with me? This is something that WILL affect EVERYTHING you do in your life. From work to social interactions (haha my specialty) to your connections with GOD. It will spill over to everything and make a HUGE difference
Anyway, I'm a HUGE believer in adding value to the world, and so I want to share with everyone key points as to what helped me out, IF You need it.
1. Self confidence is LEARNABLE. This cannot be argued with me. I truly believe that you can LEARN any emotional trait that you feel empowers you. This also means you can learn disempowering emotions. When someone argues with me that they can't, I usually take it as a sign that they aren't willing to put in the effort to handle this part of their lives.
2. Self-confidence is a JOURNEY, not a destination. Many think that you one day just reach this place called ''self- confidence'' and say "ahhh I'm here." No, its not like that at all, rather its more like a muscle. The more you work it out the stronger it will get. Likewise, if you don't use it, you'll lose it. I don't think there is such thing as either confident or not. there are levels of confidence and times when you feel it.
What if I told you that you can feel confident anytime you want? what the first thought in your head. If its a negative one, trust me on this one, you can. Try this right now. Get up and yell LOUDLY. And repeatedly say "I'm in control of MY LIFE!!!!! EVERYTHING WORKS OUT FOR THE BEST AND I CAN FEEL IT RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Seriously get up and shout this out!!! If someone will get annoyed go to the bathroom or anywhere private. YELL THIS OUT. AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS!!!! AND MAKE SURE YOUR BODY REFLECTS THE POWER IN YOUR VOICE. Let your hands clench up, stand straight like a king or queen. AND focus on what you are saying. FEEL it deep down.
By this point your state is probably through the roof. If not do it until it is, say it, think it and move it!!! This is where it starts. As a state. And states you experience on a constant and consistent basis is WHO you are. Doing these before a speech is great, before talking to that special someone, or just a great way to start you day.
This is something I do on a daily basis. I'm sure this may seem weird to some, but its definitely one of the most powerful things I've done.
I would adjust my focus on things that are useful.
Example: 'Useful' would be "what can I learn from this situation"- vs. 'useless' like "why does this crap ALWAYS happen to me?" Stop focusing on what's wrong with you (insecurities) and focus on what's RIGHT with you (securities)
I then adjust my vocabulary to fit my focus. And I match my physiology to my focus. So with powerful focus and language I would have powerful Physiology.
This is an incredible concept that was made popular by a great man named Anthony Robbins. Check out his stuff.
3. Even MORE on physiology- How would you walk if you were the MOST confident person in a room. Would you keep your head down and your hand in your pockets while taking shallow breaths? VERY unlikely. YOU would HOLD YOU HEAD HIGH, with a slight smile, with your chest out a little bit, and taking DEEP and slow breathes, while moving without hesitation. Try it now. Walk like the most insecure person afraid of what others think, and then walk like you could careless about other people's opinion because you realize that your opinion about yourself is MOST important and that you have all the self-worth you need. How would you walk? Get up and try it.
4. You are who you surround yourself with. In psychology, I've learned that your self-image was learned from social interaction (again my specialty haha). And it continually builds on this foundation. Give a good, hard, objective look as to who you are surrounding yourself with. Are they people, who show they care for you? Who respect you? Who help you out when you need support?
If the answer is no and they are people who bring you down most of the time, they look for what's wrong with you any chance they get, and are almost happy when your miserable, then its time to make new friends. If this is your family, I always say "love your family, CHOOSE your social circle"
This is probably the BIGGEST THING. Look for those who want to help you succeed as much as you want to help them. This is what a friend is- one who adds value in your life as much as you guys have fun- Do NOT over look this. At this stage in my life, I have some of the greatest friend I could EVER ask for, and I totally appreciate them in my life.
5. Self-confidence comes from your expectations of yourself. Do you trust yourself to give an INCREDIBLE speech in public, or do you trust yourself to mess up and look like a fool? This is very key. I realized one time that if I wanted more confidence I had to NOT ONLY look on "the bright side" BUT EXPECT IT!!! I focused on this and it changed my life. And of course whatever you focus on will be true for you. Have faith and expect that whatever you will achieve whatever you need and want AND be OUTSTANDING!!! Keep reminding yourself of this, and your confidence WILL EXPLODE.
6. And lastly, have an unshakeable trust in GOD. I believe GOD has the ultimate plan and one must trust HIM and his guidance to get the VERY best in life. Believe in HIS plan for you WITHOUT a doubt and Life will take on entirely new light and meaning. This feelings I've experienced because of this are beyond words. Believe so that you shall see. Joel Osteen of Lakewood Church goes into heavy details about this and his book "You best life Now" is a MUST read about this. Take care.
~Mystic
To the best you deserve