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BDSM in the marriage bed

Posted: Sat Jan 13, 2018 8:39 pm
by thatkidakayoungguy
Is it ok for Christians to practice BDSM while married, with consent? Some of the stuff is very wild and raunchy, but I'm ok with more mild forms.
This question also pertains to other extreme and unusual fetishes such as scat and others I can't think of. Are they sin to God, or not, since it would be consenting and between a married man and woman?

Re: BDSM in the marriage bed

Posted: Sat Jan 13, 2018 10:10 pm
by RickD
thatkidakayoungguy wrote:Is it ok for Christians to practice BDSM while married, with consent? Some of the stuff is very wild and raunchy, but I'm ok with more mild forms.
This question also pertains to other extreme and unusual fetishes such as scat and others I can't think of. Are they sin to God, or not, since it would be consenting and between a married man and woman?
In order for me to answer your questions, I'd have to google "BDSM", and "scat". But I have a feeling that I really don't want to know what they are.

:shock:

Re: BDSM in the marriage bed

Posted: Sat Jan 13, 2018 11:47 pm
by Kurieuo
Why do you ask? Sin or not, is there something about just the behaviour itself which suggests to you that it is corrupt in some way?

Re: BDSM in the marriage bed

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 10:42 am
by Philip
ALL things which are mutually agreeable to a man and wife, that are safe and non-harmful psychologically, spiritually or physically, or noted as somehow sinful per Scripture (and some of these might not be specifically mentioned, but that the principles taught apply), are perfectly fine in one's marriage bed. And that makes for a huge range of physical activities and sensibilities that one can righteously pursue in the context of marriage. Unfortunately, many people fail to discuss their expectations, preferences and sensibilities BEFORE marriage, and/or they have very skewed understandings or what a Godly marriage bed should look like. Or they drag all kinds of past sinful baggage or false understandings into a marriage - and thus there is sexual dysfunction, "gatekeeping," sexual neglect, etc. A lack of frank discussion BEFORE marriage can result in vast differences and incompatible expectations that only become obvious afterward - a huge tragedy. And what is meant to be an enormous, life-long blessing can be ruined by sinful misuse.

Re: BDSM in the marriage bed

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 10:59 am
by RickD
Ok. I just got brave and googled "scat".

What I don't understand is why on earth, any married couple would want to perform "a type of jazz singing characterized by improvised vocal sounds instead of words" in bed!


y:-?

To each his/her own, I guess.

Re: BDSM in the marriage bed

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 11:53 am
by thatkidakayoungguy
Kurieuo wrote:Why do you ask? Sin or not, is there something about just the behaviour itself which suggests to you that it is corrupt in some way?
Yea, it's so wild and some of it just seems wrong, like scat or blood fetishes.
I kinda feel uneasy talking about this, but sexuality is talked about in this forum, so I thought it was ok.

Re: BDSM in the marriage bed

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 11:54 am
by thatkidakayoungguy
RickD wrote:Ok. I just got brave and googled "scat".

What I don't understand is why on earth, any married couple would want to perform "a type of jazz singing characterized by improvised vocal sounds instead of words" in bed!


y:-?

To each his/her own, I guess.
That's not scat....

Re: BDSM in the marriage bed

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 1:17 pm
by RickD
thatkidakayoungguy wrote:
RickD wrote:Ok. I just got brave and googled "scat".

What I don't understand is why on earth, any married couple would want to perform "a type of jazz singing characterized by improvised vocal sounds instead of words" in bed!


y:-?

To each his/her own, I guess.
That's not scat....
Of course it is. From Dictionary.com:
scat2
[skat]
verb (used without object), scat·ted, scat·ting.
to sing by making full or partial use of the technique of scat singing.

Re: BDSM in the marriage bed

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 4:19 pm
by thatkidakayoungguy
RickD wrote:
thatkidakayoungguy wrote:
RickD wrote:Ok. I just got brave and googled "scat".

What I don't understand is why on earth, any married couple would want to perform "a type of jazz singing characterized by improvised vocal sounds instead of words" in bed!


y:-?

To each his/her own, I guess.
That's not scat....
Of course it is. From Dictionary.com:
scat2
[skat]
verb (used without object), scat·ted, scat·ting.
to sing by making full or partial use of the technique of scat singing.
Wow. Didn't know.
I think you know the other definition, it comes out of a hole and smells bad.

Re: BDSM in the marriage bed

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 4:59 pm
by Kenny
thatkidakayoungguy wrote:
RickD wrote:
thatkidakayoungguy wrote:
RickD wrote:Ok. I just got brave and googled "scat".

What I don't understand is why on earth, any married couple would want to perform "a type of jazz singing characterized by improvised vocal sounds instead of words" in bed!


y:-?

To each his/her own, I guess.
That's not scat....
Of course it is. From Dictionary.com:
scat2
[skat]
verb (used without object), scat·ted, scat·ting.
to sing by making full or partial use of the technique of scat singing.
Wow. Didn't know.
I think you know the other definition, it comes out of a hole and smells bad.
Depending on one's breath, singing comes from a hole, and smells bad.....

Re: BDSM in the marriage bed

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 4:59 pm
by RickD
thatkidakayoungguy wrote:
RickD wrote:
thatkidakayoungguy wrote:
RickD wrote:Ok. I just got brave and googled "scat".

What I don't understand is why on earth, any married couple would want to perform "a type of jazz singing characterized by improvised vocal sounds instead of words" in bed!


y:-?

To each his/her own, I guess.
That's not scat....
Of course it is. From Dictionary.com:
scat2
[skat]
verb (used without object), scat·ted, scat·ting.
to sing by making full or partial use of the technique of scat singing.
Wow. Didn't know.
I think you know the other definition, it comes out of a hole and smells bad.
Punxsutawney Phil?

Re: BDSM in the marriage bed

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 5:18 pm
by thatkidakayoungguy
Lol it involves poop. There I said it.
Can we get on to the main question I asked?

Re: BDSM in the marriage bed

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 5:29 pm
by RickD
thatkidakayoungguy wrote:Lol it involves poop. There I said it.
Can we get on to the main question I asked?
Scat is another name for animal poop. What kind of sick, perverted stuff are you talking about?

Re: BDSM in the marriage bed

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 5:41 pm
by thatkidakayoungguy
RickD wrote:
thatkidakayoungguy wrote:Lol it involves poop. There I said it.
Can we get on to the main question I asked?
Scat is another name for animal poop. What kind of sick, perverted stuff are you talking about?
Which brings me to my main question, if a consenting Christian couple of man and woman decide to engage in scat fetish, spanking fetish (that one is often rather mild imo hehe), blood fetish, goodness you know what I'm getting at, is it sin? I guess it can apply to non Christians as well.
Ok, so if some BDSM behaviors are sin, where do we draw the line?

Re: BDSM in the marriage bed

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 5:58 pm
by Kurieuo
I never like people asking whether something is a sin type questions. On the other side, it's like asking how much can I dabble in? If you're asking, then obviously there is something wrong, which you yourself perceive.

With BDSM, if you feel the need for it, then perhaps you have childhood psychological issues, been sexually abused, faced violence or the like. I really don't know. You don't need to know whether something is a sin, you just need to know whether something is awry or amiss. It certainly feels BDSM fettishes are that way.

Where something is amiss, then it is likely due to the corruption of sin. Abnormal behaviour ought to have people introspecting themselves. The more interesting questions are why people feel the need for such things, or crave it, lust for it, need it to be turned on. What lead them to such? It certainly wasn't always that way, but no doubt a progression. What started and/or continued that progression?