Sexual Abuse

Anonymous · Post by **Anonymous** » Sat Feb 05, 2005 9:47 am

Thanks salt. Maybe I can take this angle. My niece disclosed the abuse to a teacher and she failed to report it because she knew the abuser. At the time, the abuser was the youth minister at her church. Instead she called my brother in law (the father). She probably figured he would call the authorities himself. Maybe if I report her and investigation will follow?

Thanks for the link. I'll check that out.

Anonymous · Post by **Anonymous** » Sat Feb 05, 2005 10:01 am

You are so very welcome. I'll keep the situation in my prayers. By the way, the folks at Life Dynamics are baptists also so . . . although they regard any abuse to be an outrage, to have it occur in the Baptist community may hit a bit closer to home.

A teacher failing to report to the authorities... I think she'll be in some hot water!! I think this legal angle, the failure to report by so many people involved and the subsequent cover up, may be the best way to go. I'll continue to look through my links to see if there are other organizations or sites that may help. If I find anything I'll post it. I hope you'll let us/me know how things are going.

God bless.

Prodigal Son · Post by **Prodigal Son** » Sat Feb 05, 2005 10:26 am

i would tell. you don't have to bring the victim into it (no names). you're not really judging him by telling, the church can still remain a support system to him and welcome him into their family (just keep him away from the children).

i was in a similar situation: i was a visitor in a church many years ago. it was a service where the lights were turned off. there was a little light left to see (i think a door was open or something). anyways, i saw a father some seats over putting his hand up his 8 year old daughter's skirt. the girl pushed his hand away several times. the mom and two other sisters ignored the entire incident. i told my aunt and two cousins who also witnessed the event. they were outraged and my aunt got up and told one of the "elders". they didn't come and get the guy immediately which is what i expected to happen.

at the end of the service, we all got in line to shake hands. when he came up to me, i said: i'm not shaking your hand! you were just molesting your daughter with that hand, right here in church! needless to say, it got pretty ugly. the mother and older daughters defended him. i yelled at them and the elders. the mom and sisters yelled at me. the sad thing is the little girl just stood there and said nothing, and the dad had a smile on his face!

since i was a visitor there i knew i wouldn't ever be there again. i wanted her to know someone cared and that what was happening was not okay. i had to bring it out in the open--it was my only opportunity. i don't know what ended up happening.

Anonymous · Post by **Anonymous** » Sat Feb 05, 2005 10:53 am

colors wrote:: i wanted her to know someone cared and that what was happening was not okay. i had to bring it out in the open--it was my only opportunity. i don't know what ended up happening.

Wow! Good for you, that was brave, bold and definitely of the spirit. . Hopefully, after your bringing his sin into the light others began watching him more closely. I bet you wish there was a way you could check on her.

sofalogic:
Here are some sites I gathered. Some may be of use, some are just informaitve. I've never seen any of them before now, and only scanned each to ensure there was at least some aspect that may provide you help or guidance.

http://www.stopitnow.com
http://www.darkness2light.org/
http://www.focusas.com/Abuse.html
http://www.generationfive.org/
http://www.cybertipline.com/

cases/incidents/news:
http://www.aifs.gov.au/nch/issues9.html
http://reformation.com/
http://www.kensmen.com/catholic/clergysexabuse.html

Anonymous · Post by **Anonymous** » Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:51 pm

salt wrote:
colors wrote:: i wanted her to know someone cared and that what was happening was not okay. i had to bring it out in the open--it was my only opportunity. i don't know what ended up happening.
Wow! Good for you, that was brave, bold and definitely of the spirit. . Hopefully, after your bringing his sin into the light others began watching him more closely. I bet you wish there was a way you could check on her.

sofalogic:
Here are some sites I gathered. Some may be of use, some are just informaitve. I've never seen any of them before now, and only scanned each to ensure there was at least some aspect that may provide you help or guidance.

http://www.stopitnow.com
http://www.darkness2light.org/
http://www.focusas.com/Abuse.html
http://www.generationfive.org/
http://www.cybertipline.com/

cases/incidents/news:
http://www.aifs.gov.au/nch/issues9.html
http://reformation.com/
http://www.kensmen.com/catholic/clergysexabuse.html

Thanks salt. I have thought about going the Cybertip route before to see what would happen. I do not know if I said this before but I work for the Department of Social Services. I have talked to all kinds of people about this and they all say nothing can happen unless a victim makes the report themselves. I have tried to get the South Carolina Baptist Convention involved but they will not touch it with a ten foot pole.

I will figure out a way to go forward but really what I am looking for is am I wrong for acting now if the guy has not abused since he was busted? I lean towards I would be doing what is right no matter what but I do not want to do something wrong. For instance, people tell me it may be God's will he not be prosecuted because God has a ministry for him. Then I tell myself maybe his ministry is he is supposed to be a witness to those in prison. I believe God can still use him for His glory but I just do not know how much freedom he should have around children/youth.

Mastermind · Post by **Mastermind** » Sat Feb 05, 2005 7:44 pm

You could try talking with the children, or their parents, and see if they act weird(or volunteer information) when bringing him up.

Anonymous · Post by **Anonymous** » Mon Feb 07, 2005 7:04 pm

sofalogic wrote:
salt wrote:
cases/incidents/news:
http://www.aifs.gov.au/nch/issues9.html
http://reformation.com/
http://www.kensmen.com/catholic/clergysexabuse.html

Thanks salt. I have thought about going the Cybertip route before to see what would happen. I do not know if I said this before but I work for the Department of Social Services. I have talked to all kinds of people about this and they all say nothing can happen unless a victim makes the report themselves. I have tried to get the South Carolina Baptist Convention involved but they will not touch it with a ten foot pole.

I will figure out a way to go forward but really what I am looking for is am I wrong for acting now if the guy has not abused since he was busted? I lean towards I would be doing what is right no matter what but I do not want to do something wrong. For instance, people tell me it may be God's will he not be prosecuted because God has a ministry for him. Then I tell myself maybe his ministry is he is supposed to be a witness to those in prison. I believe God can still use him for His glory but I just do not know how much freedom he should have around children/youth.

I don't envy you your quandry. The danger to the children if he still is or does years from now, or ruining his rep and messing with his life if he's truly, permanently healed. Very, very tough call. When you talk to God, when you read the Word, what does He tell you to do? If you keep working on it praying on it He will provide the open door through which you should go.

My personal opinion is that he should not be allowed to work around children.

I think it was the 'reformation' site that reports info from specific cases, some were 25 years afterwards. Maybe you can get some guidance from those records? I think there were 138 Baptist cases, one that popped out at me began in Indonsia and he was found out/busted in the US -- similar to your guy.

Poetic_Soul · Post by **Poetic_Soul** » Tue Mar 29, 2005 7:56 pm

I'd report him/her in a heart beat. No questions asked.